I'm Ready to Wait
by waiting-all-night
Summary: The girls have gone to college and are trying to find some normality after all of the -A drama. But could new problems arise as Spencer and Emily begin to fall for one another? It may take a few chapters for them to get together but hopefully it will be worth the wait to see their relationship grow. Rated M for sexual content (eventually) and language. Spemily AU.
1. Prologue

**This is my first story so I hope at least someone likes it. I don't exactly know how long it will be as of right now but I'm guessing at least 10 chapters, probably more. I love Spemily and think they would be perfect together but don't worry there will be no Toby or Paige bashing because I like them too. I just think Spencer and Emily would be perfect together. Sorry if people find this a little long winded, if they are I'll try and fix it.**

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars or any of the characters, I am simply borrowing them for my own selfish, sordid gains.**

**Soooooo…I hope you enjoy. **

Prologue:

It's halfway through the lairs first semester at college. The -A team and the mystery of Red Coat had ended as senior year did, there had been no more texts or emails or creepy messages of any kind since. But that didn't mean it was completely over, it never could be. Everyone who had been involved had to live everyday with the ramifications of all the things that had happened to them over the past few years. They had all stopped flinching every time their phones went off and jumping every time there was a loud bang. But they still lived in fear of the horrors the world was capable of throwing at them. The demise of the- A team saw some relationships that had been forged and strengthened by the drama fall apart. The most surprising was Spencer and Toby's; everyone thought they would stand the test of time. But after they had spent so much time protecting and looking out for one another, at 18 it became too much. They needed a clean break and to put this part of their life behind and unfortunately that meant leaving each other behind too. Both of them knew there would be a part of their hearts that would always belong to the other.

Toby is off traveling, paying his way around the world doing odd jobs and Spencer ended up at an Ivy League school like everyone had imagined. She was studying Law at UPenn, although she understood the prestige of this it was somewhat lost on her. Spencer didn't believe she was doing for the same reasons as the people that surrounded her, not like her parents who craved success or her sister who wanted recognition or the idealised freshmen that thought they could change the world. She studied law because she had been caught on the wrong side of it too many times. In true Hasting's fashion she had to understand everything, she had to have all of the knowledge; she needed to understand her foe from the inside out. Beyond figuring that out she had no plan and that scared her.

Caleb and Hannah, still going strong, had both moved to New York. Hannah was studying Fashion Marketing at Parsons and Caleb was studying Computer Science at NYU. Aria had shocked everyone by deciding to stay in Rosewood and was studying Art and English at Hollis. Although all the other lairs had felt the need to get away from Rosewood Aria felt as though there was still unfinished business for her there.

Emily had dealt the biggest shock, although she had made big plans to go to California with Paige, she had ended up staying a little bit closer to home. As it had gotten nearer to the time for Emily to apply for college she began to question who she was doing it for, was it really for her? Was it for Paige? Or was it because she was running away? She was tired of running. She had to live for her, she had to push herself out of her comfort zone. That meant no more relying on Paige to hold her together if she started to fall apart and no more relying on swimming to define her. So she hadn't gone to California on a swimming scholarship. Instead she had stayed in Pennsylvania to study Criminology at UPenn, she continued to swim but now she got to do it for herself. No one expected it from her, but it felt right, it was the first thing that had in a long time. Criminology allowed Emily the opportunity to get inside the head of the kind of people that had terrorised her for so long. She hoped it would help get one step or even half a step closer the answering the question that plagued her…. why, just why. People had questioned her and tried to talk her out of it but this was the closest she would ever come to knowing and that was all the motivation she needed. Paige had been hurt by Emily's decision not to head East with her, but ultimately she understood. This is Paige she always understood. They had promised to try, they had something too special to throw away. But both of them were struggling right now with a distance that seemed both physical and emotional now.

**I know it wasn't very long but I wanted to set the scene. So here is the first real chapter too :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**I hope some of you stuck with me…**

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars or any of the characters; I am simply borrowing them for my own selfish, sordid gains.**

Chapter 1:

Spencer Hastings sat in her spacious apartment in Philly. She'd quite liked the idea of living on campus and having the complete student experience, being able to feel normal for the first time in a long time. But her parents had insisted on renting her, her own place. Spencer believed it was because they had done it for Melissa when she'd attended UPenn and by doing so they could convince themselves they cared about their daughters equally. They had told her it was so they could sleep easy, knowing she was safe in a good neighbourhood in a building with 24 hour security. Spencer wasn't sure if she believed in the idea of safety anymore, it wasn't a feeling that felt tangible in her existence.

So there she was alone in her apartment on a Friday evening, being alone was something she'd gotten used to since coming to college. She saw Emily every now and again, it was not nearly as much as she'd like, but Emily had her own life up here and she seemed like she was thriving. It wasn't that Spencer was lonely per say; in fact she quite liked her own company. But she did from time to time wonder what other freshman would be doing on a Friday night, whether they would be in their pyjamas, sat on the couch, watching a documentary on The History Channel with a mug of coffee. She doubted it, no matter how interesting the documentary was. Sighing she settled back more into the couch becoming engrossed in 'The Innovations That Built Ancient Rome' when she heard a sharp knock at her front door. Setting her mug on the coffee table she leapt from the couch where she just stood in the middle of her living room like a startled animal. A familiar sense of dread crept through her as she glanced at the clock realising it was 11.30 at night, who could be at her door? It took Spencer a few seconds to remember that –A was gone for good and when did they ever knock at the door anyway? Her thoughts were disturbed by a second knock, this time a little quieter. "Coming" she called, making her way hesitantly to the front door, she peered through the spy hole. On the other side was a distracted looking Emily, she had her arms folded tightly across her chest and was looking nervously up and down the corridor.

Instantly worried Spencer pulled the front door open, Emily's head snapped towards her and their eyes met. Spencer hadn't seen such pain there for a long time; it was a look she had never wanted to see in those expressive brown eyes again. But here Emily stood looking broken and lost at her front door. "Emily", Spencer spoke her name tentatively, not sure how to approach the crumbling figure in front of her. At the mention of her name Emily seemed to see Spencer and her surroundings for the first time. A look of confusion flashed across her features, as though she was questioning what she was doing there as much as Spencer.

"Spence", Emily sobbed as she stepped forward and fell in to Spencer's arms, she clutched at the back of her shirt as her body shook with tears. Spencer shut the door gently behind Emily but made no other attempt to move, she just held her friend as she fell apart in her arms. After a few moments of standing like this Spencer felt a shiver run through Emily's body, loosening her grip and stepping back she finally got a good look at Emily. She noticed she was only in a t-shirt and her lips had a purplish hue to them, rubbing her hands up and down Emily's arms she realised they were like ice.

"Did you walk here Emily? All the way from Campus?" Spencer almost shouted. The combination of shock and fear making her forget to watch her tone around her obviously delicate friend. Emily refused to look at her, just simply nodded her head at Spencer's question. "It's November! It's a 40 minute walk from campus! What were you thinking?" she snapped.

Emily took a small step back from Spencer, finally looking back up at her face. "I wasn't thinking!" she replied sharply, her voice thick with tears. Spencer looked at her apologetically, having done enough damage with her words for now she decided just to act. Hoping her friend would understand that she wasn't angry she was just worried and every emotion with Spencer seemed to manifest itself in anger now-a-days. She grabbed Emily's hand and dragged her further into the apartment. Pushing Emily down onto the edge of the couch she gently placed her abandoned mug of coffee into her hands. Her first priority was to get Emily warmed up, she could find out what was wrong with her once that was done. Spencer disappeared from the room briefly to grab the blanket from the foot of her bed; she placed it delicately around Emily's shoulders before wrapping it around her body. Spencer then sat down as close as she could to her friend making sure her body was pressed up against Emily's, hoping some of her body heat would transfer to the swimmer. She placed her hand on Emily's back rubbing slow soothing circles.

"Em, not that I don't love you. But what are you doing here?" she paused waiting for a reply. When she didn't get one, she tried again. "What's happened?" Spencer spoke slow and deliberately so Emily knew that she was there for her, that she wasn't pushing but she needed to know what was going on.

"Paige…" Emily choked out, swallowing hard and trying to compose herself. "…she…erm…she broke up with me Spence". With that sentence finally said Emily broke down again, a fresh round of tears sliding down her face.

"Oh Em, I'm….I'm so sorry" is all Spencer could think to say to her heartbroken friend. She knew from experience that there was nothing she could say to Emily right now that would help. All she could offer was a shoulder to cry on and hope it would be enough. She took the still untouched coffee from Emily's shaking hands and set it down on the table, before settling herself back into the couch pulling Emily with her. Emily's back pressed firmly against Spencer's side as she wrapped her arms tightly around her sobbing friend. The swimmer grabbed Spencer's hand needing to feel grounded and as though she wasn't alone because since the breakup she felt as though she had been floating. Not really sure how much time had passed since her conversation with Paige or how exactly she had gotten here. Spencer's hand in her own was the only thing that had felt real in, what seemed like now, as long as she could remember. Sensing her friend's desperation Spencer did the only thing she could think to do, she buried her face into Emily's hair, placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "Shhhh….It'll be ok Em. I'll get you through this, I promise" she whispered so softly she wasn't even sure Emily heard it. But she meant it, more than she could remember meaning anything in a long time.

They stayed like that for a long time, until Emily's tears slowly subsided. Both girls were blindly staring at the TV, both lost in their own heads, not registering the images dancing across the screen. Spencer was the first to break out of her daze, shifting slightly to try and get comfortable again under Emily's weight. Emily looked up at her with a small sad smile that said a million things, it told Spencer she'd helped and in some miniscule amount Emily felt better for being there with her. Spencer cleared her throat quietly, "Do you want to tell me what happened now?" she asked, sensing Emily had calmed down enough to finally talk to her. Emily nodded her head slowly, stretching her arms above her head and pushing the blanket from around her body. She felt like she'd been asleep for days, every muscle in her body felt tight.

"Just let me freshen up a bit ok?" She replied before slowly getting up and heading to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognise the face that looked back, it didn't feel like her. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying and her hair was a mess from the wind and lying against Spencer. But that wasn't it, there was something in her eyes that wasn't there anymore, that was missing, they seemed cold. Like they were missing some life that was there last time she checked. Choosing to ignore it she splashed cold water on her face trying to get rid of the tear tracks that stained her face and the stinging in her eyes. She heard a gentle knock at the bathroom door before it creaked open to reveal Spencer stood there holding one of her baggy hockey jerseys and a pair of plaid flannel shorts. She thrust them at her "You're staying with me, you don't have a choice" she said raising her eyebrows, daring Emily to refuse. Spencer turned and walked back out of the bathroom while Emily chuckled lightly at her best friends no nonsense attitude.

**Let me know what you think…**


	3. Chapter 2

**This chapter pretty much carries on from where the last one left off. It's another short one but the chapter after this one is shaping up to be a bit longer. **

**Thank you to Breyanaxo and Anna for their amazing reviews. They mean a lot :)**

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Enjoy.**

Chapter 2:

Changing quickly Emily emerged from the bathroom to find the lights and TV off in the living room. Looking around she noticed a soft glow coming from the bedroom, she padded softly in to find Spencer already in bed. Emily dumped her clothes on the chair by Spencer's bedroom door while Spencer lifted up the blankets to let her slide in. Emily snuggled in next to Spencer so their sides were pressed together like they had been earlier, there was something about being close to Spencer that made her feel ok when she knew she should be feeling anything but. Spencer shifted slightly onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, making sure she maintained contact with Emily's body. "Come on then. Tell me what happened." Spencer coaxed as she brushed a piece of Emily's hair behind her ear.

Emily took a deep breath, she knew if she was going to get this out at all it had to be in one go. She flicked her eyes up to Spencer's, holding them for a second, a silent plea for Spencer to be patient with her. Emily slowly closed her eyes trying to gain some composure while she thought about where to start. Everything that had happened felt like a dream, like it had happened to someone else and she had simply observed it.

Taking a deep shaky breath Emily began, "We've been arguing a lot lately, not about anything in particular, just little things. God, they just seem so stupid now, so insignificant. If I'd have known they would lead to this…" she trailed off, fighting the tears that threatened to fall again.

"I thought it was all because we were stressed out about school and swimming and settling in to new cities. I thought it would pass. I thought it would get better" She choked on the last word; Spencer reached across and placed a hand on top of Emily's. Offering a silent reassurance that she was there and she understood.

"It's been getting worse over the last few weeks...all we seem to do anymore is argue. I can't remember the last time we laughed together. But I thought we were strong enough to ride it out." Emily said all of this staring down at Spencer's pale hand sitting on top of her own darker one. She was rambling and she knew it. Spencer, sensing her hesitation, intertwined her fingers with Emily's giving them a gentle squeeze. Emily caught her eyes again, the ghost of a smile passing across her lips before her gaze fell back to their linked fingers.

"We had a Skype date tonight and she was 10 minutes late. That never happens, not without a text or something. I knew something was wrong, but I tried to act normal. I tried to ignore it, I didn't want to know. But I couldn't…" her voice broke again.

"I asked her what was wrong. She started to cry and that's when I knew it was bad. I knew what was coming. She told me she didn't think this was working out anymore" Emily let a humourless laugh, scrunching her face up at the clichéd comment.

"She said we were missing out on too much, that life was just passing us by because we're always tied to our phones or computer. She said that seeing each other through a computer screen was too much of a poor substitute. That she wanted to end this where we can still be friends, before we start resenting each other." Emily looked up at her almost pleadingly and for a second Spencer was sure that she saw guilt in the swimmers eyes.

"I wanted to argue Spence. I wanted to tell her she was wrong and everything was fine. I wanted to tell her that she was imagining all the hurt from the last few weeks. I wanted to tell her we'd get back to us again. But I couldn't. I kept trying, but I couldn't! She was right…about it all! We were falling apart. We weren't us anymore!" Emily was hysterical by now, not even trying to control the tears that were streaming down her face. Spencer let go of Emily's hand, reaching up gently cupping her cheek and wiping away her tears with the pad of her thumb. Emily closed her eyes and subtly leant into Spencer's touch, relishing in the feeling of comfort coming from her best friend.

"I love her Spence. I wanted us to work. I'm never going to find anyone like her. She's special. She cares so much. What am I supposed to do?" Emily practically gasped out. Realising her friend needed more than the small gestures of comfort now. Spencer sat up some more, resting her back against the headboard of the bed. She took a few seconds to compose herself and to get straight in her head what she wanted to say.

"When Toby and I broke up…neither of us wanted it to be over. We just knew that both of us needed to experience the world and sort some things out in our heads. And as much as it hurt we couldn't do that if we dragged the other person along with us. We had to learn how to be us again; our own separate people. After everything that's happened we have to learn who we are now. We have to figure that out before we can be together. It broke my heart….it still breaks my heart every day. But for now it's what's right for both of us. I don't believe it's over…we'll find our way back to each other when the times right." Spencer looked down at Emily who was curled up on her side facing Spencer but wasn't looking at her. She put her fingers under Emily's chin and gently tilted her head until she was looking in her eyes.

"That's what will happen for you Em. You're amazing. Paige isn't going to find anyone like you. Not in a million years. And if I know her the way I think I do, she won't even be looking. You guys haven't fallen out of love. You are so right for each other….just maybe not _right now. _You'll find your way back to each other. And if you don't, you'll find someone else. They may not be Paige, but they'll be extraordinary. Because it's what you deserve." Spencer said with sincerity holding Emily's gaze. She wished she could say something that would fix the broken look in the other girl's eyes. But she knew nothing but time could heal it.

Emily shuffled up the bed, laying her head on Spencer's chest. Spencer pulled Emily's body close to her own for the third time that night. She wrapped her arms around Emily as tight as she could. She hoped it would get across how much she cared, silently promising to be there for Emily for as long as she needed her. Spencer heard Emily sigh sleepily before tilting her head closer to Spencer's ear. "Thanks Spence" she whispered.

"You don't ever have to thank me Em. I'm here for you, whenever you need me and whatever you need me for" Spencer reassured catching Emily's eyes again. Emily lifted her head slightly to get a better view of her.

"I do" Emily urged. "You are always there and that deserves a thank you. I know you do it without thinking so…just thank you for being amazing. Thank you for being you." With that Emily lay her head back down on Spencer's chest. Both girls fell quickly into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

**Thanks for reading. Review if you liked it, or hated it. Either way. I will try and update as soon as I can.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks soooooooo much to everyone who has favourited and followed this story, it means a lot.**

**Thank you again to Breyanaxo for her wonderful review, you are my hero.**

**Again I don't own Pretty Little Liars, just borrowing.**

**Enjoy….**

* * *

Chapter 3:

Emily woke up with a warm feeling of bliss coursing through her. She could feel a soft body pressed against her back and a slender am slung over the curve of her waist. It had been too long since she'd felt this peace, this security. She opened her eyes blinking in the bright sunlight filtering through the blinds. Once her vision had cleared she realised she didn't instantly recognise the room she was in. It took a moment for all the events of yesterday to come flooding back to her. A heavy weight settled on her chest as she came to terms with the fact that Paige was no longer hers. She knew for the next few months this would be a regular occurrence. She remembered just after Maya died the few minutes the universe awarded her between sleep and waking when she hadn't remembered yet that she was gone. And now she had to go through it all again, the heart breaking realisation every day that you no longer got to see the person you love. Emily looked down at the hand resting limply on her hip, now noticing how delicate and long the fingers were. It could only belong to Spencer. She ran the fingertip of her pointer finger along the length of Spencer's hand, tracing over the flawless skin. She knew she should be disappointed now that the illusion of Paige wrapped around her was shattered. But she couldn't bring herself to be. Not when she could feel Spencer's even breathing on the back of her neck as she slept holding her.

Rolling on to her front and reluctantly breaking contact with Spencer she buried her face into the pillow and let out a groan. This effectively woke Spencer too who slipped onto her back, stretching her arms above her head and arching her back off of the mattress. Emily couldn't help but follow the movement, looking away quickly before Spencer opened her eyes. A small smile tugged at the left corner of Spencer's lips. "How did you sleep?" She asked gruffly, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Better than I expected actually. I guess I must have exhausted myself with all the crying." Emily replied with a nervous laugh, the brightness in her voice shocking her ever so slightly. She hopped up onto her knees, flicking her hair out of her face and indulging in a much needed stretch of her own. She had no control over the smile that graced her lips; she couldn't believe she felt so normal this morning.

"Ok, you are far too chirpy in the morning. I need coffee" Spencer grumbled, rubbing her eyes. Emily laughed pushing Spencer as she tried to get out of bed, earning herself a Spencer Hastings death glare which only made her laugh more.

* * *

Once Spencer had her cup of coffee in her hands she felt much more human. Emily had gotten into the shower a few moments ago. The distance allowing both girls space to think through their next moves. Spencer had decided the millisecond the first tear left Emily's eyes yesterday that she was not going to leave her side until she was herself again. She was glad that Emily seemed so happy this morning but she wondered whether it was because the true reality of life without Paige hadn't hit her yet. She still had to tell everyone; Hannah, Aria, her parents. Spencer wasn't sure how Emily was going to handle it all. But one thing she did know was that she was going to be by her side for every part of it. She loved Emily and had always felt an overwhelming desire to protect her. Emily was pure and kind and good and Spencer couldn't stand that she had no power to stop the cruel things that the world was determined to throw at the swimmer. The only thing she could do was make damn sure that she was there to pick up the broken pieces of her best friend no matter how many times she was ripped apart.

* * *

While the hot water beat against her skin Emily granted herself the quiet time to reflect on her situation. Mere minutes ago she'd felt great, as though she could face the world. But now that she was alone, out of reach of the comfort and safety of Spencer, Emily felt as though she was only just holding herself together. She felt like a piece of cloth that was rapidly fraying around the edges. She was too scared to really think about what life would be like without Paige by her side. Too scared to think about how she would tell everyone they were over. Too scared to admit that it was all her fault because she hadn't followed Paige to California like she'd promised. And most definitely too scared to question why right now she missed Spencer's understanding eyes, all she wanted to do was curl back up in her lap and let Spencer make her feel better.

Emily rushed to shut off the flow of water and roughly wrung out her hair. She wrapped a towel around her body, instantly feeling slightly better when she caught the scent of Spencer on the material. She took a few cautious steps out of the bathroom, nervous for reasons she could not begin to explain. At hearing movement Spencer looked up from the book she was reading at the kitchen table a bright smile lighting up her features. All the tension in Emily's body seemed to melt away at the sight and a smile to match Spencer's spread across her face.

"Feeling better?" Spencer asked in an exaggeratedly chipper voice. This earned her a chuckle from Emily.

"Yes actually. And clearly someone else is, now that they've got some caffeine in their system." Emily replied condescendingly.

"I am not ashamed of my dependence on the devils nectar" Spencer smirked. "I put some clothes out on the bed for you." She said nodding her head towards the bedroom. Emily smiled in thanks before making her way into the room finding another clean hockey jersey and a pair of navy sweatpants laid out for her. She ran her fingers over the Hastings embroidered on the left breast of the shirt before slipping it on over her head and stepping into the sweatpants. Grabbing the towel off the floor she rubbed her hair dry as best she could, ran her fingers through it to try and tame it then finally pulled it all over her shoulder to dry off the rest of the way naturally. She made her way back into the living room to find Spencer exactly where she'd left her, engrossed back in her book.

"Who knew Spencer Hastings owned sweatpants?" Emily mocked, pulling Spencer back to reality.

Spencer chuckled "She doesn't. They're Hannah's….well at least I think they're Hannah's. I found them under my bed about a week after her last visit. How does that girl make such a mess?" She asked incredulously.

"I really have no idea" Emily mused as she reminisced back to the not so successful months she had spent sharing a room with Hannah. She knew exactly how often Hannah's things found their way into unexpected places.

Spencer got a pensive look on her face. "I really hope they're Hannah's. Otherwise I have done some experimenting when I was drunk that I have noooooooo recollection of."

"Yeah right Spence. How drunk would _you _have to be to sleep with a girl?" Emily asked sceptically.

"I don't know Em. This is college. Aren't we supposed to be trying new things? You know, broadening our horizons and all?" Spencer replied wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Emily stared at Spencer incredulously for a moment, mouth practically hung open. Then both girls burst out laughing. Emily couldn't believe how light she felt in that moment. Like for the minute that she got to share this joke with Spencer, nothing else mattered.

As the laughter subsided Emily looked at Spencer with a cocky grin. "I could set you up with someone, I know plenty of girls who would be happy to help you….test the water."

"I'll get back to you. I _am _getting pretty lonely and I'm yet to meet a guy at this college who isn't a total jerk or a total bore." Spencer said with a seriousness that caused another easy chuckle to escape Emily's lips. They just looked at each other smiling for a second. Emily still couldn't quite believe how easily Spencer could make her smile in the midst of her heartbreak. While Spencer beamed at how happy her friend seemed right now and how she had everything to do with it.

Emily broke the silence. "Just for the record Spence, if you'd had sex with a girl you'd definitely remember it. No matter how drunk you were."

Now it was Spencer's turn to look shocked, surprised at Emily's sudden forwardness. She never discussed sex, it made something flutter in Spencer but she wasn't quite sure what it was. Shaking her head and changing the subject, "Sit down" she instructed. Making a shooing motion towards Emily; herding her towards the couch. Spencer then disappeared around the corner into the kitchen. All that could be heard was the slamming of cupboard doors and rustling. Emily was about to get up and investigate when Spencer reappeared throwing an arm full of chips, cookies, popcorn and soda on the coffee table. She then rushed into the bedroom where more movement could be heard. When she came back her face was obscured by a giant stack of DVDs which she proceeded to dump across Emily's lap.

"What's all this?" Emily asked with a giggle as she took in the eager look on Spencer's face.

"We're having a DVD day. We can watch anything. Well anything I have. But you can pick. All day" Spencer rushed out excitedly, sure that this was the best idea she had ever had. Emily looked away quickly as unexpected tears filled her eyes at the thoughtful gesture from her friend. She wasn't sad, she just couldn't believe how sweet and kind Spencer was being. How she was putting herself out entirely for her. Probably not doing things, that before she had showed up at her door, were so important. Emily couldn't believe how lucky she was to have Spencer.

In sheer panic at seeing Emily's tears Spencer launched herself at her, practically landing in her lap scattering DVDs everywhere. She cupped Emily's cheeks in her hands trying desperately to stem the flow of tears falling from the tanned girl's eyes. "No no no no no no no" she almost wailed. "This was meant to make you happy not sad. It was meant to cheer you up."

Emily let out something that was half way between a sob and a laugh. Covering Spencer's hands with her own she looked directly into her eyes, hating the look of panic that she found there. Emily wanted to tell Spencer that she hadn't just cheered her up she had kept her from drowning last night. When Paige had ended it with her she thought she wouldn't be happy again and in a matter of hours Spencer had made her laugh. She had made her feel a lightness she hadn't felt for a long time even before the breakup. Spencer somehow fixed something Emily hadn't even realised was broken. How could she tell her that? How could she put those feelings into words when she didn't even understand them herself? So in a voice that was barely above a whisper she gave Spencer the only thing she could offer. "Being here with you makes me happy Spencer." They stayed just staring at each other for a little while, both trying to gauge each other's reaction to the statement.

Spencer shook her head almost imperceptibly but it was enough to clear the slight daze she had been in for the last few seconds. She cleared her throat "O-ok good" she stuttered. She paused for a second to compose herself. She wanted to get back to the light hearted feeling that had surrounded them this morning. The atmosphere was thick with something right now that neither girl could find a name for, but it made Spencer feel uncomfortable. Removing her hands from Emily's cheeks she put on as bright a voice as she could muster and asked "What first?" gesturing to the pile of DVDs now on the floor.

Emily looked down at the mess of boxes around her feet. She laughed softly as she reached for one of the cases. "Is this Hannah's too?" She asked holding up a copy of '_Despicable Me'. _

Spencer narrowed her eyes and shrugged. "Those little guys are cute. Sue me."

Emily grinned and thrust the DVD into Spencer's hand. Who shook her head before putting the movie on and retrieving the blanket that had been abandoned the night before. She threw herself on the couch next to Emily, tucking her feet under her body so she could lean close to her friend. She tossed the blanket over both of their legs; Emily leant into Spencer's body, settling herself into the paler girl's side. The rest of the day was spent pretty much in this position. The only time they moved was to occasionally use the bathroom and change the DVD. When night fell they quietly slipped to bed, exhausted from doing nothing all day.

Sunday came around all too quickly for Emily's liking. A feeling of dread settled over her as she realised that today she had to leave the little world that she and Spencer had created in the apartment. Once she walked out of the door she had to face reality and it was going to sting like a mother. Spencer assured her that she was welcome to stay the day but Emily knew that there was no point delaying the inevitable. After a shower and some breakfast Spencer walked Emily to the bus stop; the morning had been spent virtually in silence. Both girls lost in their own worries about the week ahead. Emily's bus pulled up to the curb and she moved towards it but Spencer stepped in front of her, pulling her into a hug. She placed a soft kiss into Emily's hair before finding her ear and whispering "You're the strongest person I know Emily Fields." She had been through so much and come out of the other side that Spencer knew she would get through this too. Emily gave her a sad smile before getting on the bus, steeling herself to face what she imagined would be the week from hell.

* * *

**If you loved this or hated it please let me know. I'm hardly getting any reviews and I would really like to know what people want me to change or keep to same or whether I should just scrap the story all together. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Wow, wow, wow, wow. So I guess this story is most definitely not getting scrapped haha. I can't tell you how much all your reviews mean so please please please keep them coming, I love hearing what you have to say!**

**Craycrayforshay: There will be more realisation of feelings in the chapters after this one so I hope they keep your Spemily feels in overdrive!**

**Breyanaxo: Your wish for a Hanna and Emily chapter has been granted. Or it will be in a chapter or two. I hope it lives up to your expectations.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars blah blah blah….**

**This chapter is a bit of a filler chapter and not much happens at all. But I kinda needed it in there and I will make up for it I promise!**

**So I hope you enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 4:

Emily's first week without Paige had been as hard as anticipated. Her friends on the swim team had been supportive, forgiving her for skipping Friday nights practice and Saturdays meet without any fuss. Their way of making her feel better was like any sports team would be; organising a night out with the intention of making Emily 'forget about her'. This consisted of plying the swimmer with drinks and pushing her towards any girl that had ever even thought about kissing ladies. By Tuesday she had plucked up the courage to tell Aria and Hanna, but only because she was sat on her bed with her back snuggled into Spencer's chest as the paler girl played soothingly with her hair. Aria had been calm and told her how sorry she was and made Emily aware, emphatically, that she was there for her night or day. Hannah of course was her usual self, telling Emily that "Paige is an idiot" and "It's her loss", she ended the conversation practically shouting "Wait until I see that girl!" Emily appreciated how protective her blonde friend was over her but she didn't want anyone to hate Paige. Paige was still the kind caring person she'd always been; she just wasn't her girlfriend anymore. Spencer had to stay with Emily that night; she lay for hours holding her as she sobbed whispering comforting words into her hair. Although Emily didn't ask her to spend the night Spencer couldn't bring herself to leave the swimmers side, the warmth of her body was far too appealing.

By far the worst day had been the day that Pam Fields had found out about the breakup. Emily had been delaying telling her mom, not sure how to broach the subject with the woman. She was trying to find the perfect time to tell her, the decision was taken away from her when her phone rang on Thursday evening. Luckily Spencer was there again; they were curled up together on Spencer's couch watching a '_Game of Thrones' _box set. Emily had fished her phone out of her pocket when she heard it ringing, a look of panic crossing her face as she read the caller ID. Spencer didn't say anything, she didn't have to, she simply squeezed Emily's hand and nodded her head. Letting Emily know that now was the time and there was no more putting it off. Beginning to sob before she even answered the phone Emily told her Mom about the end of her relationship, as she'd feared telling her made it all the more real. Her Mom had gotten chocked up as she reassured Emily that it would all be alright. Emily wasn't sure if this was because of the heartbreak that she heard in her voice or because over the years Pam had truly grown to love Paige. Her Mom had demanded she come home so she could look after her daughter, but Emily adamantly refused. She said it was because too much at home reminded her of Paige, in reality she knew it was because she was not willing, or able, to leave Spencer for that amount of time. Emily spend that night with Spencer too, after getting off the phone with her Mom she had lay with her head in Spencer's lap just staring at the TV. She felt almost numb not taking very much in; the only thing she was really aware of was the feeling of Spencer's nails ghosting across her scalp as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Emily woke up the next morning alone on the couch covered with a soft blanket, it took her all of twenty seconds to scurry to Spencer's room and hop into bed next to the paler girl. As she lay in the warmth of Spencer's sheets staring at the girl sleeping peacefully next to her she decided she didn't feel up to leaving her for a while. She could barely remember anything from her classes that week so if she skipped today it wouldn't matter and her team would forgive her for missing another meet. She just couldn't stand the thought of being too far away from Spencer. So that's where she stayed the entire weekend, as close as she could reasonably be to her best friend. On Sunday she thought about how this had truly been the week from hell, she was not ashamed to admit that the only thing that got her through was Spencer.

* * *

More than a month had passed since Emily and Paige's breakup now and Spencer had hardly left Emily's side, if they weren't in class or at one of their various extracurricular activities they were together. Emily regularly found Spencer waiting outside of her classes or the natatorium with two coffees in her hand and a huge grin on her face. In fact Spencer brought any treat that she thought would make Emily smile for even a second. Although Emily had to admit that the sight of Spencer casually leaning against the wall when she rounded a corner made her heart flutter; she had ensured the paler girl that she was not about to break. That she could make it through a day without her and she didn't want Spencer putting herself out anymore. Spencer of course had taken no notice, although she had stopped skipping morning classes to meet Emily after her early swim practices.

The two girls by now had fallen into an easy routine, the comfortable structure a welcome break from the hectic way they had both been living for so long. On Mondays after class they grabbed some dinner in the city, their choices were limited due to Emily's training, so most of the time they ended up in '_Fuel'_. Then they headed to a small art house movie theatre they had stumbled upon down a backstreet. It showed horror movies, foreign films and all the old classics; it was perfect for the two girls. It was never busy, most of the time the girls were the only ones in the theatre so they had claimed it as their own. It was their sanctuary; Spencer called it their Island of Sanity, which made Emily laugh.

Emily had swim practice on a Tuesday that ran until later in the evening so they met up in the afternoon and had lunch in a café on campus. Both girls loved these easy afternoons where they could talk about nothing or complain about professors who were giving them a hard time or just _be _with each other, just sit and enjoy the company of the other.

Wednesdays were not as chilled out. As a way to unwind, and slightly at the insistence of Emily's team mates, they got together with some of said team and a few people from Spencer's debate team and went out. Every week Emily was surprised by how wild the debate team were. The two girls met at Spencer's apartment to get ready and have a few drinks, since there was little chance of being able to get one in a club. They then met up with the rest of the group at a bar on campus where they were more likely to get served. After that they all made their way to a club in the city where they stayed until the early hours of the morning. Emily always enjoyed these nights and although Spencer did too she made sure she always kept her wits about her so she could get Emily home in on piece at the end of the night. The rest of the group teased her slightly but it was all worth it when she got to fall asleep know Emily was safely tucked up beside her.

Thursday was the only day they didn't have anything planned for. Spencer had a model UN meeting and Emily had a pretty intense swim practice that she deemed to be her punishment for the night before. She was glad of that time to herself as it gave her a chance to catch up on school work and get an early night, which she always needed.

Friday was both girls favourite night, they got to get into their pyjamas and curl up together on Spencer's couch. They reserved this night for a movie and healthy snacks before Emily's meets on Saturday. Spencer of course went to every one, making sure she was on the front row and screaming the loudest. After turning up a few weeks ago on in a t-shirt with Fields and a giant number 1 on the back she had earned herself the nickname Emily's fan girl, yet another thing for her to be teased about when it came to Emily. But she didn't care and it led to her being adopted as the team's unofficial mascot and cheering section, as such she was always invited out with the team to either celebrate a win or commiserate a loss. Emily stayed every Saturday night; it was still no easier to leave on Sunday morning even though she knew she would be seeing Spencer the next day.

One Tuesday night Emily was lying in bed after swim practice trying to get to sleep but something was playing on her mind and keeping her awake. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was. Laying there her mind kept drifting back to Spencer and every time a smile subconsciously crept across her face. Realising it was impossible to control her thoughts she just let them take her where they wanted to go. Before long she began to think about her life before the breakup, the more she thought about it the more she began to realise that things could not be more different. She could count on one hand how many times she had seen Spencer since they moved to Philadelphia. Neither of them had made much effort, she couldn't think for the life her why not. They had spent the entire summer talking about all of the things they would do together but they never got round to doing any of it. Sure Emily had been busy with swimming and getting to know her team mates and getting to know the girls in her quad. Then there was Paige, she took up most of her time. But what about Spencer, she was busy too but she hadn't called, not once. An awful realisation dawned on Emily; Spencer hadn't called because she hadn't wanted to see her. And now Emily was taking up all her time, she was forcing her to be around her every day. She was a burden to her, Spencer didn't need someone she had to look after, she had her own problems. Emily sat bolt upright in bed a feeling of sheer panic creeping through her body. _How could she have been so oblivious? _She thought. She needed reassurance; she needed to hear that she was being crazy, that Spencer wanted her around.

She picked up her phone off the cabinet next to her bed and scrolled through her contacts. Her thumb hovered over the number she had dialled a million times before, she hit call. She was practically vibrating in place as she listened to the phone ring out.

"Hello?" A sleep voice answered. Emily hadn't realised in her panic that it was almost past midnight.

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I…I just needed to talk, I guess" Emily said apologetically.

"It's ok Em. You know I'm still here for you whenever. Nothing's changed there. Talk to me." The voice said earnestly.

"I just….I need to see you." Emily practically sobbed.

"Whenever" Is all she said.

"Can I come see you this weekend?" Emily asked hopefully.

"Of course you can. I'll have to clean my room to make space for you but…yeah" The girl said slightly excited now she was more awake.

"Thank you" Emily breathed. "I can't wait to see you Han"

**Ok, I'm really sorry, I know there was hardly any Spemily and the chapter was just a bit of nothing but I needed it. I promise I won't make you wait long for the next chapter. It's all written out just needs editing. It'll be all Spencer's feelings and she may realise some things…**

**Please keep reviewing they make me so happy.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Thank you everyone again for your amazing reviews and thanks to everyone that continues to follow this story.**

**Breyanaxo: I hope you like this chapter there is plenty of Hannah and Emily :)**

**Myurra-K: Just wow. Your review was amazing I hope you love this chapter.**

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 5:

Emily had called Spencer after she got off the phone to Hanna and told her excitedly how she was heading off that weekend to New York. Spencer was happy that Emily seemed to be excited about something but she couldn't help but feel a little bit sick when she realised that she wouldn't see Emily until next week. She had been trying to tell herself that she spent so much time with Emily to make sure she was ok but she was slowly beginning to realise that she was doing it as much for her own sake as anyone else's. She'd noticed over the last week how she was losing concentration in class thinking about what movies they were going to watch that week or how she had to call at the store to pick up one of Emily's favourite treats. Thursdays were getting hard; Spencer was always trying to find a legitimate reason to text Emily because she couldn't stand the thought of not having any contact with the swimmer for the entire day. The most disconcerting thing for Spencer was night time, when she lay in bed on nights that Emily was not staying over she found herself struggling to fall asleep. She tried to chalk it up to worry, worry that Emily might be upset and alone but she couldn't explain away the twinge in her chest that appeared when she rolled over to find the other side of the bed empty and cold.

* * *

Emily carried her bag down the stairs of her residence building heading for her car that was parked around the corner. It was 2:30 on Friday afternoon and she was hoping to get to Hanna's apartment for dinner time, that was if she didn't get lost or hit rush hour traffic. Emily had mixed feelings about the weekend, she was excited to see Hanna but she couldn't help but feel sad about spending so long away from Spence. She had to pull herself together; she knew feeling like this about your best friend wasn't normal. There was a nagging voice at the back of Emily's mind telling her she was heading for another Alison situation, but she wouldn't allow herself to believe she had feelings for Spencer. With a sigh she tossed her bag into the trunk of her Toyota before settling into the driver's seat. She began flicking through her CD collection trying to find something she could sing along to on the drive; she hoped it would generate some excitement before she got to Hanna's. She decided on Katy Perry, thinking some bubble gum pop was just what the doctor ordered. Emily set off for New York City with '_Teenage Dream' _blasting through her stereo system and a heavy feeling that she couldn't explain in her chest.

Almost three hours, two traffic jams and innumerable wrong turns later Emily pulled up to the curb outside Hanna's apartment block in Greenwich village. She was nervous hoping she was in the right place, before she could even get her seatbelt off her car door was flung open and a body pinned her to her seat. Emily's heart was racing and her palms had begun to sweat as she was filled with panic. That feeling dissipated pretty quickly when she registered the high pitched squeal that was emanating from the person who had unceremoniously launched themselves at her. She released the tension that had built up inside her with a sigh that turned into a chuckle. "It's good to see you too Han. But can I get out of the car, I've been stuck in here for three hours" Emily said with a smile.

Hanna stepped away from Emily letting her out of the car. "I know I thought you'd be here like an hour ago. I was starting to get worried you'd never get here. I've been waiting on the curb looking like a hooker for the past forty five minutes. How was the drive up? Was there a lot of traffic? Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Do you want pizza for dinner? I'm so excited you're here!" The blonde rushed out before she pulled Emily into another hug that was eagerly returned this time.

"Wow ok Han, give me a sec. Erm….The drive was ok but yes there was a lot of traffic, that's why I'm late. I am absolutely starving so pizza sounds amazing. And I'm excited to be here too. I think I got it all didn't I? Oh wait… you wouldn't look like a cheap hooker if your skirt wasn't so short" Emily reeled off with a smirk, earning herself a smack on the shoulder.

"Hey nobody said anything about _cheap_" Hanna said with mock offense. "It's nice to see heartbreak hasn't dampened your sense of humour" she finished before stepping back on the curb. Emily couldn't help but laugh at Hanna's bluntness.

"Can we carry this conversation in your apartment maybe?" Emily asked now that the topic of conversation had come around to Paige.

"Oh shit yeah, of course" Hanna exclaimed, popping the trunk of Emily's car and grabbing her bag. She reached out and linked Emily's arm, dragging her into the building and towards the stairs. "I'm so happy you're here. I have so much planned." Hanna said excitedly.

Once they were settled on Hanna's bed with a cocktail of the blonde's concoction in hand it was time to talk properly. Hanna seemed to contemplate Emily for a few brief seconds before her face broke into a gentle smile. "You look good Emily" Hanna reassured.

Emily laughed softly looking down at the glass in her hands. "What were you expecting Han, a snivelling wreck?" She asked.

"I don't know. You just seem so together, so solid. When you called the other night you seemed a bit of a mess. So I didn't expect this." Hanna replied sincerely.

Thanks….I think" Emily said shyly, taking a sip from her the cocktail she was holding and winced slightly at the amount of alcohol.

"No Em, it _is _a good thing. I mean you've been through so much already and you've always come out the other side but at some point somethings gotta give you know?" Hanna looked at Emily to check she understood what she was saying. When Emily didn't say anything she carried on. "I remember how you were when Maya died is all. I was kinda scared _that _Emily was going to show up today. And then I was going to have to kill Paige for breaking you." Hanna ended with a stern look.

"Hanna no one is going to do anything to Paige, especially not you. You guys are good friends, I don't want that to stop just because we're not together anymore" Emily said earnestly.

"We might have been friends, but you are my best friend and she broke your heart. So now she is on my enemies list" Hanna replied matter of factly.

"Well as your best friend I am asking you to take her off your enemies list" Emily said rolling her eyes. "She didn't do anything wrong"

"You're a better person than me. If Caleb broke up with me I wouldn't let any of you see him ever again. Are you not mad at her at all?" Hanna asked.

"No I've never been mad at her Han. How could I be mad at her for doing what she thought was best for both of us. Don't get me wrong I miss her. I think about her every day because so many things remind me of her. But it doesn't consume me the way it did when Maya died. I love Paige so much but with the time that has passed since the breakup I can see now that it was right. We both want what we had in Rosewood and that isn't what we had when we broke up. She did the right thing Han, so please forgive her." Emily said with a half-smile on her face that did little to hide the glassiness in her eyes.

"Wow Em. I just…you amaze me. I'd be a mess. I wouldn't get out of bed" Hanna stuttered out.

"Well we have Spencer to thank for that." Emily said as a huge smile spread across her face at the thought of the other girl. "I don't know where I'd be without her" she confessed. Emily began to get slightly lost in thoughts of Spencer and she realised it seemed like forever since she'd last seen her. A sudden sadness invaded her, but her revelry was disrupted by Hanna.

"How is Spence? I haven't spoken to her in a while actually" Hanna asked trying to sound chirpy. She had noticed the look of sadness that had passed across the swimmers face. She couldn't help but wonder where it had come from, Emily had seemed fine when they were talking about Paige. But now she seems on the verge of tears.

A sad smile graced Emily's lips. "She's great. Loves college, of course. She was bred for UPenn after all." She said with a laugh. "She's on the debate team, part of the model UN, she does a mock trail thing I don't completely understand and she's on the hockey team. So yeah, she's great, better than great she's amazing." Emily gushed as she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear self-consciously. "I can't believe how much she's been there for me. I really would be lost without her. She gives up so much to make sure that I'm ok and she never misses one of my meets and she always texts me to see how practice went and….I'm rambling. Sorry."

Hanna narrowed her eyes and took in Emily as she discussed Spencer. She was practically bragging about how amazing Spencer was, she was practically glowing. Emily looked up at Hanna and noticed the strange look she had on her face, like she'd just figured out a great mystery. "What?" She asked self consciously.

"Nothing" Hanna replied with a conspiratorial smirk. "It's just you seemed pretty…I don't know…excited when you were talking about Spencer just then"

Emily's face paled. "What do you mean? I wasn't _excited_!" She practically shouted trying not to give Hanna anything to work with. She saw Hanna go to open her mouth again so cut her off. "It's just that she's been there for me through everything and I appreciate it" She said defensively.

"I wasn't trying to hint at anything Em, I was just making a comment" Hanna said holding her hands up in surrender but something in her eyes told Emily that wasn't true.

"Yes you were. What did you mean?" Emily asked. She didn't give Hanna a chance to answer before she launched into another rant. "She's been by my side for everything, every time I've cried or been angry or just needed someone to sound off. She's become like my safety net, she never lets me fall too far. She never forgets any plans we've made or anything that's important to me. She's so sweet and so thoughtful and I'd be lost without her" Emily stopped as she realised that she had given Hanna exactly what she wanted.

Emily looked up and caught the look of shock and excitement in Hanna's eyes. "Oh my god" Hanna squealed.

"What?" Emily asked cautiously, scared she already knew what was going through the blondes mind.

"Oh my god" she shrieked again. Emily just looked at her with a questioning frown. "You are falling for her. I should have guessed it the second you got here. That goofy smile you got when I mentioned her name, but that rant just then… Em do you like her? It's ok if you do" Hanna asked hopping onto her knees so she could get closer to Emily.

"What are you talking about Han? Of course I don't. We're just friends, I just see her as a friend. Like its always been, nothing's changed" Emily all but shouted.

"Who are you trying to convince Em? Me or you? You know you can tell me anything right?" Hanna said in a caring voice.

"You! I'm trying to convince _you_!I…I don't like Spencer. Do I? No I don't, of course I don't. She's just my friend." Emily replied with desperation in her voice. Both girls just sat in silence looking at each other for a moment before Emily realised she couldn't hide from Hanna. The blonde could read her like a book. "Shit Hanna I think I do. I think I like Spencer" Emily confessed as she hung her head. "I can't like her. This cannot be happening! What do I do?" Emily said as she put her head in her hands.

Hanna blew out a breath. "The way I see it you have two options. One you tell her how you feel and see what happens. She's your best friend she'll understand. You're going through a lot right now and she's been there of course you're going to be confused. She might even be able to help" She paused and looked at Emily who had a terrified look on her face. "Or two you distance yourself from her and hope it goes away once you're not seeing her every day." Hanna suggested.

"Well I'm definitely not telling her. No friendship can survive that. Not even one that's been through as much as ours. I'm going to have to spend less time with her. But I don't want to. Oh god Han, I've made such a mess of everything." Emily said looking like she was about to cry.

Hanna reached over and took Emily's hand. "No you haven't Em. You can't help who you fall for and Spencer's hot. She has that geek thing going on that is _so _in right now"

Emily couldn't help but laugh at how her friend dealt with everything that was thrown at her, she seemed to just take everything in stride. "I love you Han, thank you for being so understanding" she said as she pulled the blonde into a hug.

"Ok, ok Em, you getting handsy with one of us is enough" Hanna joked. "Let's order pizza its almost seven"

"Crap! I was supposed to text Spencer when I got her and I totally forgot" Emily said hastily pulling her phone out of her pocket and typing out a message to Spencer. Hannah went over to her desk to find the menu for the Pizza place. She heard Emily's phone beep and looked over her shoulder. Emily had the biggest smile on her face, '_yep, she's got it bad' _Hanna thought.

* * *

Spencer had muddled through until Friday and now she pacing around her living room with her phone clutched in her hand. Emily had promised to text Spencer the second she got to Hanna's to let her know she was safe, as of now there had been nothing and Spencer knew she left practically three hours ago. She was now officially on edge, not only from the lack of contact from Emily but also because she felt as though she was at a bit of a loose end. Without Emily to keep her occupied she had no idea what to do with herself, she was restless and frustrated. Looking around her apartment she tried to think about what she used to do with her nights alone before her life revolved around Emily. She decided studying was a safe bet, she had enough reading to do that it could kill an hour or so, yeah she thought that was a good idea. Spencer took her textbook, notepad and pen from her messenger bag on the couch and set herself up a work area on the kitchen table. She opened her textbook up and placed her phone on the page opposite to the one she was reading, that way there was no chance she could miss a text or phone call from Emily. Picking up her pen and pulling her notepad towards her she began attempting to read her Law in American Life textbook.

She sat this way for fifteen minutes before admitting to herself that she was failing miserably. Spencer hadn't taken in a word she'd read because everything thirty seconds she found herself pushing a button on her phone to illuminate the screen so she could check if she had missed any form of communication from Emily, as if that were possible. After checking her phone for what felt like the twentieth time and finding nothing she slammed her textbook shut and pushed herself roughly away from the table. Spencer stomped over to the couch, taking her phone obviously, and threw herself down, she turned on the TV and began flicking through the channels. She tried to find anything that would keep her mind off Emily for even a little while. She found nothing, groaning in frustration she hauled herself off the couch and made her way over to the DVD shelf, just because Emily wasn't there didn't mean she couldn't watch a movie right? She wanted something funny and that didn't require her full attention because she knew that it was never going to get it. Reaching for the only cartoon she owned, '_Despicable Me', _she couldn't help but smile. Emily had made her watch it at least ten times over the last month. Spencer put the disk in the player and sat back down on the couch, her phone still tightly in her grasp. Despite her having watched it countless times now the movie usually made her feel happy but today it just seemed to make her feel worse. The parts that usually made her chuckle now filled her with sadness because Emily's laugh didn't light up the room and she missed the occasional "Oh my god, she's so cute" that would slip out of Emily's mouth whenever the little girl did something adorable.

Spencer's mind began to wander and she began to realise she missed the feeling of Emily laying against her side and she was dreading the thought of having to go to bed alone tonight. But it's just because she's lonely she thought, there's nothing else to it there can't be. It was completely normal to miss someone this much, they were best friends, that's all it is she tried to convince herself. Spencer's phone beeped in her hand and she looked at the name on the screen: Emily. Her heart skipped a beat, but it was just because she was surprised and worried she reassured herself. She opened the text:

**Emily: Hi Spence. Hope you aren't missing me too much yet. I just made it to Hanna's, traffic was a bitch. Hanna says to tell you Hi, she loves you and she can't wait to see you at Christmas. Xx**

Spencer fumbled with the keys on her phone, rushing out a response to Emily's text. She didn't care at all if Emily figured out she was waiting by her phone, she just wanted to speak to her.

**Spencer: Hey Em. Glad to hear you got there safe. I was getting worried for a sec. I do miss you because now I can't use you as an excuse not to do my homework. I expect a gift as compensation, then I might just forgive you for your abandonment. Tell Hanna Hi back, I love her too and I'm excited to see her. X**

She re-read the text once she had finished writing it, when she was happy she didn't sound too needy she hit send. The she sat staring into space, her phone still tightly on her grip and her knee bouncing up and down impatiently as she waited for a reply. What felt like a lifetime later, which in reality was probably more like two minutes, her phone beeped again.

**Emily: Oh nice to know I'm nothing but a pawn in your procrastination, and here was me thinking you loved me. You will get a gift, the tackiest NYC related gift I can find I promise. And I didn't abandon you, any way you'll be glad of the space for the weekend. Xx**

The smile, that had been on Spencer's face since the first text, dropped as she read the last part of the text. How could Emily think she wanted space? Maybe Emily wanted space. Is that why she had rushed off to New York on such short notice? Spencer thought to herself as she put her hand, maybe she was smothering Emily. After all before the breakup Emily hardly got in touch with her and they went to the same college. Spencer decided that Emily meant that she wanted space so tried to end their conversation so Emily could get back to enjoying her weekend with her bothering her.

**Spencer: You know you are so much more than that. And just for the record I do love you, you goofball. I cannot wait for my tacky NYC gift. Have fun with Hanna. X**

Spencer slumped back into the couch in an entirely awful mood, quickly she got lost in her own thoughts. She wondered to herself why Emily wanting space bothered her so much, it's not like she didn't have other friends she could spend time with. There were people from her classes and the debate team and the hockey team were always asking her to go out with them. But she just wanted to be around Emily. Being away from her now almost physically hurt, she could feel and emptiness creeping into her chest as she sat there and thought about the swimmer. It was a similar feeling to the one she got when she realised Emily wasn't there in the morning. She didn't know what this meant but she knew she wasn't supposed to feel this way about her best friend. She knew it wasn't good. Spencer's phone beeped for a third time.

**Emily: Thanks Spence, I'll try. It won't be the same without you here though. I love you too. Have a good weekend and don't study too hard. I miss you already :/ Xx**

And just like that the smile was plastered back on her face. Yep, she thought, she is in trouble.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think. I live for your reviews haha.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Ok just the usual thanks for all the new followers and favourites. And thank you sooooooooo much to everyone that keeps reading this story. I still am in shock that anyone does at all.**

**Simplyathinker: Wow, well I think that is the most amazing compliment I have had in a long time. So thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last.**

**Craycrayforshay: I'm glad your Spemily feels are over flowing again, it is my aim to make them do so!**

**Breyanaxo: I'm glad you enjoyed your Hanna and Emily chapter :) And you're right they won't be able to stay away from each other for long.**

**gaby2angel: Clearly you are sneaking into my room and reading my plan for this story haha. Although I somehow had completely missed the idea of them slow dancing so I will be stealing that one. Hopefully I can make it hot enough….no pressure.**

**Prettygleekbitch: You will have to wait no longer to find out what Emily brings back for Spencer.**

**On that topic though I thought I should mention that the gifts aren't extravagant but I wanted them to be that way, I like the simplicity of their relationship. I don't think they need flashy things, I hope you agree.**

**Blah blah blah I don't own Pretty Little Liar blah blah blah.**

**Enjoy…..**

* * *

Chapter 6:

Spencer sat at their usual table at the campus café on Tuesday afternoon waiting for Emily to arrive. The swimmer had gotten back from New York City late last night and this was the first time Spencer was seeing her in almost a week and more specifically since her feelings for the other girl had made themselves present. She couldn't help but feel that this meeting was kind of a make or break for her, today would cement in her mind if all the thoughts that had been flying around in her mind this weekend were real or simply because she had missed Emily. That could have been all that it was, but there was a voice in the back of Spencer's mind that told her she was just trying to kid herself, she knew it was more than that.

The little bell chiming as the door to the café opened drew Spencer's attention and her head snapped up, the sight that greeted her had her smiling from ear to ear. A slightly windswept Emily stood in the doorway scanning the café as she attempted to move some of the hair that had been blown across her face. Spencer attempted to control the way her heart had picked up pace slightly at the sight of the dishevelled Emily, Spencer couldn't help but think she'd never seen anything quite so breath taking. Emily began to make her way over to Spencer's table more excited than she cared to admit at seeing the other girl. When she got closer Spencer got up from her seat and rushed around the table throwing her arms around the swimmers neck pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Spencer didn't remember telling her body to do it, but there she was holding the other girl in her arms in the middle of the café. She heard Emily chuckle, who was slightly taken aback by Spencer's affection but enjoying the contact immensely all the same. Spencer was about to pull away when she felt Emily return the embrace with as much enthusiasm. Again Spencer's body seemed to act without her consent as she put her lips to Emily's ear and whispered "I missed you so much".

Spencer pulled away from Emily as she felt her stiffen, what she didn't realise was that the other girl was trying to hide the shiver that threatened to run down her spine at the feeling of Spencer's breath ghosting across her neck. Spencer looked down at the ground sheepishly so she missed the huge grin that spread across Emily's face at the confession. "I missed you too Spence" Emily replied softly as Spencer looked back up at her with an expression akin to that of a kid on Christmas morning.

"Really?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"Yes really. Now are you going to let me sit down or do I have to stand next to the table all afternoon?" Emily asked with a giggle.

Spencer just smiled and made her way back around the table, as both girls sat down a waitress came across with their usual order which they accepted with a thanks. Spencer reached across the table placing her hand on top of Emily's, as soon as her skin made contact all she could concentrate on was how soft the other girl's skin was, she ran her thumb across Emily's knuckles enjoying the sensation. As she looked up she caught the questioning look in Emily's eyes and reluctantly pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. "So tell me all about New York. Did you fit anything cultural in or was it all shopping and swanky New York City bars?" she asked trying to make sure things didn't get awkward.

It worked, Spencer thanked whatever higher power there was that it had, and Emily launched into a very detailed breakdown of everything she and Hanna had done over the weekend. Spencer hardly listened to anything Emily actually said, she managed to nod and laugh in all the right places, but mostly she just watched Emily as she talked. She found herself thinking how cute it was when Emily's eyes went wide when she got excited about a part of the story or how it made her smile when Emily waved her arms around for emphasis or how the swimmers smile made her breath catch just a little bit. But when Emily ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face and flicking it over one shoulder Spencer had to almost physically restrain herself from reaching across the table and touching the silky raven locks that cascaded down Emily's chest. Spencer knew in that very moment that she couldn't pretend she had just missed Emily, she was in trouble.

Spencer managed to pull herself out of her own head to hear Emily end her story, she took a moment to compose herself so that Emily wouldn't notice the quake in her voice. "Wow Em, you two sure crammed a lot in. I don't know how you found time to miss me." As soon as it left her lips she regretted, why did she say that? She mentally face palmed herself as she looked down at her coffee hoping she could divine a way out of this one.

"Spencer don't be stupid, I missed you every day. Everything we did I thought about how much you would have loved it or what pieces of useless trivia you would have known about the place. I found plenty of time to miss you, believe me" Emily said, she didn't seem angry like Spencer imagined she would be. So she risked a look at Emily's face, all she found there was an earnest expression willing Spencer to believe her.

"I know. I'm sorry" is all Spencer could think to say, she was too embarrassed to say anything else.

Emily noticed the blush on Spencer's cheeks. "Ok stop. What's going on with you? You're being such a goof." Emily paused and looked at Spencer, when she realised she wasn't going to get an answer from the other girl she carried on. "Well I know something that will cheer you up….presents" She announced effectively ending the awkward tension. She picked up a bag off the floor that Spencer hadn't noticed until now and began fishing around inside it. "They're not much, but maybe they'll prove I was thinking about you" Emily said with a smirk causing another wave of embarrassment to wash over Spencer as her cheeks flushed pink again.

The first thing Emily pulled out of the bag was a bundle of white cotton, she unrolled it and turned it around to face Spencer revealing an 'I heart NYC' t-shirt. "Cliché I know but I couldn't resist. They were everywhere" Emily said as she tossed the shirt across the table to Spencer who caught it and held the material against her chest burying the bottom part of her face in the material attempting to hide the huge goofy grin that had spread across her face.

Emily delved back into the bag, this time pulling out a small white cardboard box which she passed over to the paler girl. Spencer examined the box, it was kind of heavy for its size and she couldn't figure out what was inside. She looked up at Emily who nodded earnestly encouraging her to open the box, Spencer opened the lid and slid out the small snow globe it contained. Inside the snow globe was a miniature replica of the New York City skyline, Spencer stared at the delicate ornament in wonder as though she'd never seen one before in her life. She shook it gently and watched the flakes drift slowly around the city scape. Emily cleared her throat to catch Spencer's attention "I got it from the Empire State Building. I was looking out on the city from up there and I couldn't help but think about how much you would have loved it. How you'd have known the name of every street I was looking down or how you'd know exactly how many cabs there are in the city. It was beautiful, so I thought I'd bring a little bit back for you." She said slightly embarrassed about her explanation of the gift.

"Thank you Em. I love them really, they're amazing" Spencer breathed out again attempting to hide the true emotion in her voice from the swimmer, scared that she'd figure her out if she said too much.

"Oh, I'm not done" Emily said with a giggle as she reached back into the bag for a third time. This time she pulled out a small plastic Statue of Liberty. "I know its tacky but it had to be done" she added with a grin and a wink that made Spencer's stomach flip. She reached across the table to take the toy from Emily but as she did their fingers brushed and she was struck by how soft Emily's skin was again. The sensation made Spencer lose all control over her hands causing the toy to slip from her grasp and clatter across the table, dropping off the edge and landing next to Emily's foot. Spencer berated herself, they had been best friends for years a simple touch shouldn't make her react this way, she needed to pull herself together. Emily bent down and picked up the mini statue, she reached across the table again offering it to Spencer. As the paler girl went to take it, Emily placed her other hand under Spencer's pressing the toy into her open palm and closing her fingers around the object. Spencer pulled away from Emily's grasp unable to take the feeling of her hand in the other girls any longer, she'd break, she'd tell her everything if she had to keep feeling their skin against each-others.

Emily looked up at her curiously a slight frown creasing her brow. "Are you ok Spence? You seem jumpy" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Spencer stuttered. "I just got distracted I thought I saw someone I recognised that's all" she lied.

"Oooook" Emily drew out the word sceptically, not sure if she really believed Spencer's excuse since it didn't make complete sense. "Well this is the last one and the best one I think. It isn't strictly a tacky New York gift but we were in MoMA and I saw this and thought of you." Emily said as she pulled out a large thin gift wrapped in dark grey tissue paper and tied with a large silver bow. Emily slid the package across the table as Spencer looked at her with an excited expression on her face. Spencer looked over the present trying to think what it could be before running her finger delicately over the silver ribbon that had been tied with such care by the other girl. "Well open it" Emily urged, excited to see Spencer's reaction.

Spencer placed the package on her knee and pulled at the ends of the bow until it came loose; she pulled off the ribbon and folded it up placing it on the table. She turned the object over and peeled the tape off the edges of the paper, unwilling to destroy something Emily had clearly been so careful with. She folded back the paper to reveal the back of a picture frame, picking up the frame she flipped it over. Inside was a print of the original advertising poster for '_Breakfast at Tiffany's', _Spencer stared at the poster, it was all she could think to do. She willed her heart rate to slow down, she understood the significance of the poster but she didn't think it was something that would register with Emily.

"I got it because it's the first movie we saw at the old movie theatre in the city. It made us fall in love with that place and now it's ours, our special place which means that this movie is really special. It's one of my favourite movies now and I know it's always been one of yours, so I just thought I'd get it for you" Emily said while she looked down again embarrassed by her explanation of the gift and how she'd rambled. She looked up shyly, seeing the huge smile on Spencer's face gave her some of her confidence back, she giggled. "Plus Audrey Hepburn has always kind of reminded me of you. You both have that classy sexy thing going on" Oh crap she thought, did she really just say sexy, yep she definitely just called Spencer sexy, crap, crap, crap!

Spencer let out a nervous laugh, she was too busy focusing on the emotion that was coursing through her body right now to catch that Emily had just referred to her as sexy. She couldn't put a name to what she was feeling right now. "Em" she began but her voice cracked, taking a second to compose herself she tried again. "It's perfect. Thank you so much. You didn't have to do all this, but thank you. It's one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever gotten me."

"It's ok. I thought it would look really good on the wall in your apartment" Emily said looking excited that her gift had been so well received. Although the movie was really special to her, she'd had no idea if Spencer would even get the significance or whether she would just think she was weird. She was glad that Spencer was at least pretending to like it.

"It will. I'll put it up as soon as I get home. It's getting pride of place" Spencer said still staring at the photo frame. She was too scared to look directly at Emily, concerned the other girl would see the emotions she was struggling with playing across her face.

Spencer checked her watch, feeling disappointed when she saw she only had fifteen minutes until her class started. "Em, I gotta go, I'm sorry. My class starts soon so I'll have to leave now to get there on time." She said reluctantly, she hadn't spent nearly as much time as she wanted to with the other girl. "But I'll see you tomorrow right?" she asked more to have something to say than actually wanting an answer, they went out every week of course she'd see her tomorrow.

"Well…about that." Emily began, startling Spencer. "I know we didn't get to spend that much time together last week, but I'm going to have to flake on tomorrow" Emily said, deciding now was as good a time as any to put her plan of distancing herself from Spencer into action. Even if all she wanted to do was never leave her side again. She looked up and caught Spencer's confused look, she knew she had to come up with a reason why she couldn't go. "I spent more than I intended to in New York so I can't really afford it." It was only half a lie, she had spent a lot that weekend but if she scrimped somewhere she could probably afford to go out.

Spencer face slipped into an easy smile. "Don't worry about it Em. I can cover you this week. It's no big deal" She said not letting Emily get away with not coming out that easily, the thought of not seeing her this week either making her feel slightly ill.

"No Spence, you are not paying for me. It doesn't matter if I miss one week. You can still go" Emily said more harshly than she meant to, she should have known that Spencer wouldn't let it drop that easily.

"It was just an offer Em" Spencer said raising her voice in return, she didn't mean to snap at Emily but the disappointment got the better of her. Taking a breath she stood up "Anyway, like I said I gotta go. Thanks again for my gifts they're beautiful" With that she went to walk past Emily. But the swimmer stood and grabbed her by the wrist stopping her in her tracks.

"I'm sorry Spence" Emily said looking down at her feet. "I didn't mean to snap, I …I'm just tired. I shouldn't take it out on you" she finished, knowing it was a pitiful excuse.

"It's fine Em. I'll see you soon" Spencer said attempting to leave again while she still had control of her emotions. What the hell was happening to her, Emily was right it was only one night. Why was she so devastated?

"I'll see you Friday night still right?" Emily called after her. Spencer turned slightly just about looking over her shoulder she nodded her head and gave Emily a tight lipped smile.

As the door swung shut behind Spencer, Emily slumped back down into her chair and put her head in her hands. She'd thought that distancing herself was only going to be hard on her; that Spencer would hardly notice, clearly she was wrong. If this was going to start hurting the other girl then maybe she had to rethink her plan.

* * *

**Ok so there it is I hope you liked it. Again please please please review. It encourages me to update even when I'm exhausted after work. Plus they make me smile. **

**I have something to ask you guys, so I have this story pretty much planned out….ish. In my original plan I had Spencer going away on like an internship or something and her being away would encourage them to tell each other how they feel. Now I'm not so sure if I should go in that direction or not….so I need your opinions on whether I should or not. Answers on a postcard…..a review or PM will do though haha.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed and added my story to their follow/favourite list. I know I say it a lot but I can't believe anyone reads this never mind likes it. I hope you all carry on doing so.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: I'm glad you liked Emily's gifts I thought they were sweet, I'm glad someone agrees. I'm glad you're hooked :) thanks for reading.**

**Breyanaxo: Thank you again for all your input.**

**Please review everyone they make me really happy and quite often give me ideas for future chapters. So if you have any thoughts at all put them in a review you may find them in the story at some point. **

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars or any of their characters.**

**Enjoy…..**

* * *

Chapter 7

Friday evening seemed to take entirely too long to come around for both girls. Although Emily knew it was her decision not to see Spencer she was still struggling with the ramifications of the distance. It took all of her strength not to pick up her phone and tell Spencer that she had to see her. But she couldn't, she couldn't risk their friendship or getting her heart broken by the one person she trusted with it the most. She knew Spencer could never see her _that_ way and she had so much to figure out, she couldn't believe she'd gotten herself into this situation with a friend again. Spencer had been calling and texting Emily over the past few days like she usually did, to tell her about particularly boring classes or tough deadlines that were coming up. But Emily had ignored about ninety per cent of them; Spencer was confused wondering what she could have done to piss Emily off. She thought if anyone had the right to be mad it was her after the way Emily snapped at her in the café but she'd let that go. Spencer as everyone knew was not one to let a problem go ignored so she planned to call Emily out on her lack of communication when she got to her apartment, which should be any minute now.

Spencer was nervous about Emily's arrival and she couldn't think why, they had spent practically every day together and now she was nervous about seeing her. She'd been thinking about it all day, more like stressing about it all day. She'd been so consumed with her thoughts about the swimmer earlier that day she'd walked straight into a particularly sweet boy from one of her classes and thrown coffee all down his shirt. Spencer had apologised profusely and offered to pay for the dry cleaning bill but he'd waved her off with a laugh. His name was Josh, she liked him, he wasn't like the other guys in her class who seemed completely up their own asses. Josh was down to earth; they sat together in some of their classes and made fun of some of their stuffier professors together.

A knock on the door pulled Spencer out of her revelry, she rushed through the apartment stopping at the mirror in the hall to double check her outfit and hair then pulled the door open hastily. Emily stood there in a navy blue pea coat with the collar turned up and her hands thrust deep into the pockets, she had a scarf loosely looped around her neck and her hair was thrown carelessly across one shoulder. There was something in the way that Emily stood nonchalantly, not wearing anything special that made Spencer realise how truly beautiful she really was. Spencer had always known she was beautiful, you couldn't miss it, but stood their bundled up in her winter clothes with her cheeks pink from the cold; the girl took Spencer's breath away. She should say something. But right now every word in every language she had ever known seemed to have left her head; none of them would do Emily justice anyway.

Emily contemplated Spencer's strange expression, she was thinking about something deep she could tell. But there was something else, something in Spencer's eyes as she looked at her that Emily had never seen before, she couldn't put her finger on what it was though. She was looking at her as though she'd never seen her before and was trying to take all of her in. Emily had to look away from Spencer's stare it was starting to feel uncomfortable. As she looked around to distract herself she realised she was still stood out in the corridor. "Can I come in?" She asked gently.

Spencer seemed to shake herself out of her daze. "Oh yeah….yeah, sorry. Come in." Spencer stuttered as she stepped aside to allow Emily in, she wasn't completely out of the way when Emily made her way inside the apartment. This meant that the other girl's body brushed against Spencer's own as she walked by, Spencer tried not to let it show but the brief contact made her breath catch in her chest again. Why was Emily having this effect on her all of a sudden? She had thought that it had been a one off on Tuesday afternoon but clearly she was wrong, very, very wrong.

The two girls made their inside the apartment, Emily took her coat and scarf off and threw them over the arm of the couch. She looked around the room and couldn't help but smile as she spotted the _'Breakfast at Tiffany's' _poster on the wall behind the TV, in pride of place just as Spencer had promised. "The poster looks really good up there." Emily said as she looked at Spencer who had a slightly glazed expression on her face.

"hmm?" Spencer uttered as she looked towards Emily, clearly not paying attention.

"I was saying I like where you've put the poster" Emily replied with a slight frown. Spencer didn't say anything she just offered the swimmer a tight lipped smile, the way she was feeling right now had really thrown Spencer. She was always in control, she always knew what to say, she could usually hold herself together, but here she was practically putty in Emily's hands.

Spencer started to make her way into the kitchen; she thought that a task like cooking would distract her from how much she just wanted to reach out and run her fingers through Emily's hair, to tangle her hands in it. She was having a love affair with Emily's hair as of late, it was her new obsession. Emily followed her into the room and pulled herself onto the counter top watching as Spencer moved around the space, looking in cupboards and getting out pots and pans. She seemed to lack her usual grace and poise; she looked distracted almost on edge. Emily wondered what could be going through her mind but was unsure whether to ask, she didn't want to seem as though she was interrogating her as soon as she got here. Emily thought it would be safer to start off with some idle chit chat and since they were in the kitchen she thought dinner was a good start. "Sooooo" she began, drawing out the word to get Spencer's attention. "What are you making for dinner?"

"W…Well" Spencer started with a stutter before clearing her throat. "I was thinking pasta with tomato sauce and maybe some chicken. You know healthy but hearty" She blundered out with a shy smile.

"Sounds great" Emily said as she tilted her head to one side slightly attempting to gauge where Spencer's tension was coming from. As she looked at the other girl she realised that a slightly flustered Spencer was an extremely hot Spencer. There was something about the girl looking a little bit lost that made Emily want to reach out and grab her and hold her and press kisses to every bit of skin she could reach. Ok, she had to stop. She couldn't think like that. _Spencer is your best friend nothing else_, she repeated in her head like a mantra. She needed a distraction so she thought she'd keep talking, she thought Wednesday night was a safe topic. There were usually some funny tales and it would get Spencer talking.

"So how was Wednesday night? Not too boring without me I hope" Emily asked with a nervous chuckle. She really did hope Spencer had, had a nice night without her and then she wouldn't have to feel so guilty for ditching her. If Spencer did have fun without her then maybe she would choose on her own to do stuff without Emily. That way Emily wouldn't have to feel like such an ass and she'd never have to see that look of disappointment and hurt in Spencer's eyes again.

"I didn't go. I didn't feel like it this week" Spencer said into a cupboard, refusing to look at Emily. Somehow she knew the other girl would be mad when she found out she hadn't gone out either.

"What?" Emily almost shouted. "You were supposed to…. I mean you….why not?" she settled on asking.

"Like I said I didn't feel like it" Spencer said defensively, why was Emily pissed at her for not going? She had bailed first.

"Well would you have gone if I was going?" Emily asked cautiously, trying to control her voice.

"Probably. Why does it matter Em?" Spencer asked back, she was confused by Emily's attitude lately.

"Because you can do stuff without me you know?" Emily snapped before she could really stop herself.

"Yes Emily, I am fully aware of that thank you" Spencer was definitely pissed now.

"Then why didn't you?" Emily wasn't willing to let this drop, even though she knew she should, she knew she was pushing things.

"What makes you think this is all about you? I had homework to catch up on from the weekend" Spencer was raising her voice now, unable to avoid confrontation when it came her way.

Emily was embarrassed; she should let this drop now. She hadn't even considered the possibility that this could have nothing at all to do with her but something Spencer had said caught her interest. "From the weekend? But I wasn't…" Emily almost said but I wasn't here, effectively assuming it was all about her again but caught herself at the last minute. "What did you do this weekend?" she asked instead.

"I pretty much just stayed in the apartment" Spencer said more calmly than before.

"So how come you didn't get your homework done then?" Emily pushed. She regretted it immediately, maybe Spencer was out on a date and maybe that's why Spencer was so distracted tonight, she wanted to be off with this guy not here with her. But then this was what she wanted wasn't it? A way to not see Spencer so much without hurting her. The realisation hit Emily that maybe it would be harder to see Spencer having a life she wasn't a part of than to see her everyday knowing she didn't feel the same. She was so screwed.

"Why is this important to you Emily? I was just a little distracted this weekend that's all" Spencer couldn't think what was going on, why was Emily pushing this?

"Distracted? Are you ok? Do you need to talk?" Emily asked, all anger now gone from her voice, replaced with genuine concern.

"No! No I'm fine now. Everything's sorted. It was just about a project but it's all sorted now" Spencer lied; Emily couldn't know the real reason she was distracted this weekend.

"So do you have a lot of work coming up?" Emily asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, I guess I do" Spencer replied trying to end this conversation quickly so they could get back to having the night she'd been planning all day.

"If you have a lot of work you don't have to come to my meet tomorrow, it's no big deal" Emily offered, not wanting to put on her friend if she was stressed.

Spencer spun around to face Emily head on "Em I never _have _to come to your meets. I _choose _to." Spencer was annoyed again, she was sure that Emily was trying to avoid her now and she had no idea why. Emily was being completely unfair.

"You know what I mean Spence" Emily began but was cut off.

"No actually I don't. First you run off to New York without telling me that you were even thinking of going. Then you tell me it was to give me space that, just for the record, I didn't ask for or want. You cancelled on me on Wednesday and yeah I didn't go because you weren't there because I only go to spend time with you. Is that what you wanted to hear Emily? That's why I offered to lend you the money to come out but you jumped down my throat about that. And now you're mad at me for God knows what reason, is it because you don't want to be here. Because it seems to me that you're the one that wants space. So don't make this my problem, where do you get off" Spencer spat.

It was safe to say Spencer attitude annoyed Emily, the other girl didn't understand. She was trying to do this for the good of both of them. "Where do you get off?" Emily shouted back. "You don't get it do you? God this is so frustrating, you are so frustrating!"

"I'm frustrating? Really? I'm just trying to look out for you and you're jumping down my throat about it. So yeah you're right I don't get it" Spencer shot back

"Look out for me? I'm not your responsibility Spencer. I'm your friend. I don't have to tell you everything I'm doing and every plan I have. I seem to remember you running around a lot behind my back once" It was a low blow bringing up –A but Emily carried on anyway. "I don't need you to pay for my shit and I don't need to justify myself to you"

"Yes. I am your friend and that's why I offer to pay for your shit! I don't remember you ever complaining before" Spencer dealt a low blow of her own. "No you don't have to justify yourself to me and yet you are asking me to do exactly that for you. I never took you for a hypocrite Em" Spencer mocked.

Emily was beyond angry, but mostly at herself. How had this argument even started? And why had she shouted at Spencer again? She was supposed to see her less not make her hate her. She was frustrated and confused and she'd taken it out on Spencer again when none of this was her fault. She had to get out of here before she caused more damage. "Do you know what I'm just gonna go" Emily said as she slipped off the countertop. "I'll maybe see you at the meet tomorrow, you know, if you still want to go" With that she walked out of the room, picking up her coat and scarf on the way to the door.

Spencer wanted to stop her from leaving, to run and catch up with her and tell her she was an idiot and she was sorry but she couldn't. She was too confused about how the night she had been thinking about and looking forward to had descended into such an unholy mess. Spencer slumped down to the floor with her against the kitchen cupboard and her head in her hands willing herself not to cry. A battle she was quickly losing.

Emily got to the elevator and hit the button, as she waited for it to get to her floor she turned back to Spencer's front door. She wanted to go back and march in there and just take Spencer up in her arms, she'd looked so lost all night and when Emily had said she was leaving she'd looked so deflated. She started to make her way back towards the apartment, as she got about halfway there she began to think that if Spencer had wanted her to stay so bad she would have followed her and made her stay. Maybe she was really mad at Emily and if she went back in they'd fight some more, but she didn't want the sun to go down on another argument between them. Would she make things worse if she went back in there? She was torn, she heard the elevator beep; announcing its presence. Her decision was made for her, she reluctantly turned back making her way to the elevator and away from Spencer.

* * *

Spencer stayed on the kitchen floor for around ten minutes trying to get her breathing back in check. She looked up and around the room, noticing the pots and jars lying around on the countertops she realised she still needed to eat but was in no mood to cook right now. She hauled herself off the floor and headed for the door, grabbing her purse and coat off the hook on the way. Spencer rode the elevator down to the lobby and made her way out of the building, hardly noticing the biting winter cold. She walked quickly to the Chinese restaurant around the corner planning on throwing herself a pity party by getting as much take out as she could carry. Spencer pushed open the door to the restaurant and went straight to the counter, she ordered a banquet for one not really having the energy to look at the menu, she knew she would never eat all that food but right now who really gave a shit? After paying for her food she was told to take a seat at one of the tables in the corner by the door to wait for her food. She looked over to where she had been directed and her heart fluttered, Emily sat at one of the tables playing on her phone. Spencer thought this was her chance to apologise and make everything right, they could work everything out and take their food up to her apartment and curl up on the couch watching a movie like they were supposed to.

Emily looked up and she was shocked to see Spencer heading towards her with a guilty look on her face, she felt instantly bad because the other girl didn't have anything to be guilty about. She had been an ass. She wanted to get up and run to Spencer and apologise but with the lack of privacy she thought she better be more subtle, enough of their dirty laundry had been aired in public. She waited for Spencer to get to her, offering the girl a small smile so she'd know they were ok, that they could work this out. It was only a stupid little argument, why did she even walk out? She couldn't remember and it didn't matter now because Spencer was here and they were going to be ok. Emily didn't hear the door open but what she did hear was a male voice calling Spencer's name.

Spencer heard someone call her name from by the door; she whipped around and saw Josh standing there with a huge grin on his face. His coat was open and she cringed as she saw he still had to shirt with the coffee stain on, she felt so guilty that shirt was clearly ruined. He made his way over to her and she had to fight not to roll her eyes at his terrible timing. "Hi" he said as he stood in front of her, effectively forcing her to stand with her back to the person she should be talking to.

"Josh? Hi, what are you doing here?" Spencer blurted out before she really thought about how rude she was being.

"Oh you know? Just picking up some art supplies" Josh chuckled. "I'm getting Chinese food Spencer"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry" She blushed at her stupid reaction to seeing him here.

"It's ok" Josh said with a grin that at one point Spencer would have thought was charming and cute. But now all she could think was how it paled in comparison with Emily's smile. "Listen Spencer" He continued. "I've been meaning to ask you something for a while, I meant to do it this morning but chickened out and I've been kicking myself all day. Now you're here and I'm here and it's like the universe is giving me another chance" He paused and Spencer saw him gulp, his nervousness dissipated some of the anger she felt towards him for keeping her away from Emily. "I was…I was just wondering if maybe you might want to go out with me sometime?"

Did Emily just hear that right? Did that guy just ask Spencer out? Oh shit. What had she done? Spencer shouldn't even be in here. This idiot shouldn't have had a chance to ask her out because Spencer should be curled up on the couch with her watching a movie. But no she had to be an ass and give this guy an in. She should be happy for Spencer; that a nice enough guy was interested in her but she was just jealous she hated this kid with his stupid grin. She sighed raising her eyebrow and smirking slightly at her own stupidity.

Spencer's heart sank and her mouth went dry at Josh's question, he was a really nice guy and she didn't want to hurt him but she couldn't go out with him right now, not with all her confused feelings about Emily. "Erm…" she began trying to think of a way to let him down easy but he cut her off.

"You kind of owe me one anyway, I am down one shirt now thanks to you" he laughed nervously as he pulled his jacket to one side showing her the coffee stain. Spencer's cheeks flushed with embarrassment again, she really did feel bad. She looked over to Emily's table, the swimmer was engrossed in their conversation, their eyes met and Emily seemed to raise her eyebrow and smirk. Spencer couldn't figure out what that gesture could possibly mean but it looked slightly challenging. She didn't get it but Spencer was a Hastings and a Hastings never backed down from a challenge.

Spencer turned back to Josh "Sure I'd love to" she said.

"Really?" Josh looked up at her surprised, he cleared his throat. "I mean cool, yeah. Can I…Can I have your number then?" He asked

Spencer chuckled she couldn't help but find Josh's shyness kind of endearing; it was part of the reason why she'd made friends with him in the first place. Maybe dating josh wouldn't be so bad, maybe the distraction from Emily would be a good thing. She rooted around in her purse for a pen and scrawled her number across a napkin before handing it to Josh. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek before heading to the counter to order his own food. Spencer stiffened at the contact but tried not to let it show, when Josh was gone she looked over at Emily's table but the other girl was gone.


	9. Chapter 8

**Haha ok so a lot of you hate me after the last update. I'm really sorry, it was never my intention to annoy you all but I need them getting together to be believable. I think this chapter will make up for it, I hope so anyway. It's kind of a long chapter, I wanted to cut it in half somewhere but I couldn't figure out where and I'm so excited about it that I just wanted to get it up. I think you guys will like it.**

**Sofiaocampo: I can't tell you when they are going to get together but hopefully this chapter might ease some of your suffering.**

**Breyanaxo: I'm sorry you were sad, maybe I can put that right now. You are not alone in your hatred for Josh.**

**Craycrayforshay: I get it nobody likes Josh and I'm sorry for your suffering.**

**Let The Flames Begin Again: Thank you so much for taking time out to read my story it means so much. I hope you like this chapter as much as the rest.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: I don't mean to torture you I promise! It will all be worth it in the end. We all hate Josh its ok. We'll have to wait and see how their date goes.**

**BrittanyMetzler: Patience. They'll get there. **

**Shellmar: I'm glad you're enjoying the pace, you seem to be the only one haha. I hope you keep enjoying it so much.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars I'm just borrowing them for a little while.**

**Enjoy….**

* * *

Chapter 8:

Emily's alarm blared throughout her room and she rolled over with a groan to silence it, she had to get up and get ready for her meet. She really didn't feel up to it today, she'd hardly slept last night because she was too busy going over all of the what ifs from the night before. What if she hadn't pushed Spencer on the Wednesday night thing? They wouldn't have argued and she would be waking up next to Spencer this morning. What if she hadn't assumed that Spencer didn't want to see her? Spencer wouldn't have called her out on it being _her _who was creating the distance and she'd be waking up next to Spencer this morning. What if she hadn't stormed out of Spencer's apartment? Spencer wouldn't have bumped into stupid Josh with his stupid grin and she wouldn't be going on a date with him and she'd be waking up next to Spencer this morning. EURGH! It was safe to say she was pretty pissed off at herself. Emily was trying to protect their friendship but she seemed to be systematically destroying it instead. With a weary sigh she dragged herself out of bed and went about getting ready for her day.

* * *

A few hours later Spencer opened her eyes blinking in the morning sunshine, she could feel a tension headache brewing as she remember all the things that had transpired the day before. After eating her body weight in Chinese food she'd stayed up until god knows what hour watching trash TV. She'd hoped she could exhaust herself enough that when she went to bed she could just fall asleep, but she had no such luck. Spencer had lay awake for hours going over the real ramifications of her feelings for Emily, all she'd thought about so far was the effect the swimmer had been having on her lately. But she realised last night that there was much more to it than whether Emily wanted her back or not. This could ruin their friendship. It would affect Aria and Hanna too. She didn't know what it meant for her, was she gay? Was she bi? Did she only want Emily? Was this just a phase? Would it pass? Would she ever be able to see Emily the same way again? She didn't know the answer to any of those questions and thinking about it had exhausted her so much that she'd finally fallen asleep around 4am.

Looking over at the clock Spencer realised that she'd only slept a few hours but Emily's meet started in forty five minutes. She wasn't sure if she should go, would Emily want her there? Or was she still mad at her? She'd behaved like such an idiot last night and upset Emily, she doubted the swimmer would appreciate her presence today. Rubbing her hand over her eyes she sighed because she knew she had no choice, she had to go, she had to apologise and make everything right, she couldn't let this drag out anymore. She sat up swinging her legs out of bed, she better get up and start getting ready if she wanted to catch the meet. She has a lot to do before she gets to the natatorium, so she better get moving, she would be later than usual but she should catch most of the meet.

* * *

Emily stepped out onto the pool deck with the rest of the swim team, she had her headphones in attempting to block out the crowd but her head wasn't in the game today. She was too distracted to really have her heart and soul in the meet; she was more focused on the one person she hoped would actually show up today. Although she'd tried to tell herself all morning that it didn't matter if Spencer showed up or not she wasn't fooling anyone. She glanced up at the bleachers towards Spencer's usual spot on the front row; her heart sank when the girl was nowhere to be seen. What had she expected really, Spencer to be there with a sign confessing her undying love for her? Yeah right, she was her straight best friend who she had royally pissed off last night, Spencer was probably off somewhere with stupid Josh. Or getting her hair or her nails done ready for their amazing date where they'd talk about law and the UN and world politics, all stuff Emily could never understand even if she tried. God she hated that grinning idiot. Emily could feel her heart begin to race as she got irrationally angry about the thought of Josh and the date he was going to take Spencer on.

She was too lost in her reverie to sense someone come up behind her and when they placed their hand on her shoulder she nearly jumped ten feet in the air. She spun around, removing her ear buds and was met with the smiling face of one of her team mates, Becky. Becky was striking looking with her dark brown hair that curled naturally at the ends, she had fair skin that contrasted with her dark locks but her most striking features were her ocean blue eyes that were framed by long jet back eyelashes and her honest smile that seemed to light up any room she was in. Despite Emily's inner turmoil she couldn't help but smile back at Becky, the girl had that effect on everyone, she was easy company.

"Hey Emily, I just wanted to come check you were alright. You've seemed a little bit out of it all morning" Becky said sweetly, sounding concerned.

"Yeah, I'm good" Emily said looking again towards the bleachers where Spencer was still missing, Becky followed her gaze and registered Spencer's absence too. The girl was like a part of the scenery now, so her not being there was painfully obvious.

"No Spencer today?" Becky asked catching on quickly that this might be the source of Emily's distress.

"No, I don't think so. We kind of had a fight last night" Emily said trying not to look as cut up as she felt. A look of genuine sadness flashed across Becky's features.

"You and Spencer have one of the best relationships I've ever seen. I'm jealous. I wish I had someone who cared about me the way she cares about you. No silly little fight will keep you two apart for very long. She probably just needs some space to cool off" Becky said reassuringly.

"I don't know this time" Emily replied. "But thank you Becky, for saying that"

"No problem. Now come on coach wants to give us a pep talk before the meet starts" Becky said cheerfully as she linked Emily's arm and pulled her over to where the rest of the team stood.

* * *

Spencer had finally made it to the natatorium, the meet hadn't started yet but both teams were already out on deck. Spencer struggled to find a seat with having arrived so late, she settled for one at the end of a row about halfway down the bleachers. She scanned the deck and quickly found Emily; the other girl looked off, not as focused as she usually did on meet days. A wave of quilt washed over Spencer, she knew it was her fault; she wanted to run down to Emily and tell her everything was ok, but she knew she couldn't here in front of everyone. She stood up as Emily turned towards the bleachers hoping the other girl would spot her all the way back there but the swimmer only seemed to scan the front row. Spencer saw Becky walk up to Emily and draw her attention away from the crowd she was in the process of scanning. Becky was gorgeous even Spencer had to admit that and there she was touching Emily, and was Emily smiling at her? Spencer couldn't stand that someone else was on the receiving end of Emily's smile, she felt bile rise to the back of her throat and her face flushed hot. She couldn't put her finger on how she felt seeing the two girls interact, was there something going on? She felt sick and nervous and possessive, Becky shouldn't be able to touch Emily or smile at her like that. Spencer saw Becky link Emily's arm and start walking her over to the rest of the team; Becky kept contact with Emily the whole way over. Anger erupted inside Spencer as she saw how comfortable and easy the girl was in Emily's presence and she hardly knew her. She and Emily had been friends for years and all Spencer seemed to be able to do lately was become a blundering mess and cause arguments when she was around the other girl. Spencer was jealous, jealous of how simple it was for Becky, jealous that if Becky wanted to try something with Emily she just could, jealous that she didn't have to think about the consequences, she could just act. Spencer wished she had that luxury.

* * *

The Quakers won the meet even though Emily was way off her personal best and had performed horribly as far as she was concerned. There was a jovial atmosphere on deck as the rest of the team whooped and hollered about their win, but Emily was in an awful mood, she just wanted to go home and cry. The team were slowly making their way to the locker room while being congratulated by loved ones in the crowd. Emily stayed close to the edge of the pool so she didn't have to engage with any well-wishers; she just didn't feel up to it today, she wanted to be left alone. She felt some one sling their arm around her neck and she looked up to see Holly the team captain beaming down at her.

"Hey Fields. Party at my place tonight to celebrate us blowing the competition out of the water. You better be there" She demanded as she tousled Emily about a bit. Holly could be a bit boisterous and over excitable but she was lovely all the same.

"I don't feel like it tonight. Sorry Holly" Emily said trying not to catch the other girls eye; she knew she wouldn't get out of this one that easily.

"Oh come on" Holly said stopping them in their tracks. "It's tradition. You have to come. The whole teams gonna be there."

Emily went to speak but Becky cut her off "Leave it Hols. She had a fight with Spencer. You'll be there next time right Em?" she said effectively getting Emily off the hook.

"Dude I'm sorry" Holly said turning back to Emily. "It was good of her to come to the meet even with you guys are fighting though huh?" She asked.

Emily narrowed her eyes. "Spencer wasn't here today. I checked"

"Well I'm pretty sure I saw her. She was right over there when we were getting out of the pool" Holly said gesturing to the bleachers behind her.

"Where?" Emily demanded, slightly shocking the older girl.

"Erm…there" Holly turned and pointed to the quickly emptying bleachers. "I guess she's gone now. But I definitely heard her cheering for you during your leg of the relay. She's got a pretty distinctive yell" She ended with a chuckle.

"You know Em, I thought I heard her too" Becky added. "I just assumed it was someone else since you told me she wasn't here. But I'm pretty sure she was here."

Emily sighed and scanned the bleachers again "Well it doesn't matter. She isn't here now. I guess she still doesn't want to talk to me." She said looking down at the floor with a sad expression.

The three girls carried on making their way to the locker rooms, when they got there the rest of the team were crowded around Emily's locker, chattering excitedly. Emily looked around confused, trying to figure out what was going on. Holly spoke up. "What's going on?" she asked.

"There's something here for Emily" one of the girls giggled while another appeared carrying a huge bouquet of purple, pink and white flowers. Emily's face paled, she couldn't think who in the world would be sending her flowers, her mind went straight to –A. Random flowers screamed –A. She took the bouquet from the other swimmer cautiously and looked at her name written on the card, her breathing evened out as she recognised Spencer's neat script. She put the flowers down on the bench and opened the card, the message wasn't long but it made her smile. It simply said:

_Sorry for being a jackass._

_Spence_

_Xxx_

Spencer had been here. Even though Emily had stormed out and ruined their night Spencer had still come to the meet. And she was apologising, Emily had to fix that, she had nothing to apologise for. Emily had to get changed and find her quickly; she had to thank her for the flowers and tell her she was sorry and that she'd thought about her and missed her all of last night. Wait not the last bit but definitely the rest.

* * *

Spencer waited nervously outside of the Quakers' locker room for the team to finish getting changed. She hoped that Emily had cooled down enough to forgive her and that the flowers hadn't been too much, she worried they were a bit of over kill but she had to show how sorry she was. Spencer heard the locker room door creak open and the sound of excited chatter filled the hallway; she straightened up a bit, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of raven locks. A few girls emerged and the door closed again; Spencer thought she saw them look at her and giggle a bit before they disappeared around the corner. Right now she couldn't care less; she just shrugged it off and went back to watching the door diligently. A few minutes later the door opened again and a large group of girls made their way out, Spencer thought it must be practically the entire team but still there was no Emily. The door was about to swing shut again when somebody caught it from inside and Becky appeared closely followed by Emily and Holly who was carrying the large bouquet she'd bought. Spencer took this as a bad sign and was starting to panic, Emily hadn't forgiven her. She was questioning whether she could escape now and save some of her pride when Emily spotted her, a huge smile spread across the swimmers face and shocking Spencer with her beauty all over again. Emily bounced over to Spencer and threw herself into the other girls arms, Spencer gripped her tightly around the waist holding her to her, almost crying at the relief she felt in that moment. Emily buried her face in the crook of Spencer's neck and rushed out "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

Spencer chuckled and pulled away slightly so she could look at Emily "You don't have to be sorry. I was the one behaving like an ass"

Emily replied within a breath. "No! I do. I was such an idiot and I upset you. I'm so sorry"

Spencer wasn't going to let Emily feel solely responsible for this one "No Em, I…." But Emily cut her off.

"Look let's not fight about who started a fight. We sound like a married couple" Emily chuckled.

"Ok" Spencer conceded, just glad things were back on track. "We'll agree we're both as bad as each other"

"Deal" Emily said pressing a kiss to Spencer's cheek. "But it was more my fault than yours" she rushed out with a grin before breaking out of Spencer arms and running back over to Becky and Holly before the other girl could argue. "Oh and thank you for my flowers, they're beautiful. You really didn't have to" She added as she took the bouquet from Holly and smelled one of the flowers.

Spencer couldn't do anything but smile, she and Emily were friends again and everything was right with the world. Holly grinned at both girls before piping up "Well now you two love birds have kissed and made up you can come to the party Fields. You better bring Spencer too, the girls can't wait to tease her about the flowers" she said sticking out her tongue. Spencer just rolled her eyes; she would take all the teasing in the world as long as Emily was talking to her again.

* * *

The two girls made their way to Spencer's apartment, with a detour to Emily's residences to pick up her stuff, so they could get ready for Holly's party. Emily chose to wear a one shouldered black blouse that was partially see through and skinny jeans that hugged her curves while Spencer went for a wine coloured fitted dress with capped sleeves and kitten heels. Once both girls were happy that they weren't over dressed and had consumed enough vodka to take the edge off they called a cab to take them to Holly's house, it wasn't far but the early December wind was bitter. As soon as they stepped out of the cab on Holly's street they could hear music pounding and people were spilling out onto the steps of a house not too far away, they guessed that must be where the party was. They pushed their way into the house and began looking for anyone they recognised, they made it to the kitchen eventually where a very drunk Holly was playing drinking games around the kitchen table with some of the other girls from the swim team. Holly looked up and spotted the two girls "Hey! You made it. You're awesome" she slurred as she began pushing people out of the way to make room for them around the table. "Come join us!" she shouted. Spencer and Emily made their way into the space that Holly had cleared and accepted the beer that was offered to them, they looked around the table smiling at everyone thankful that they knew most people stood there. "We're playing fuck the dealer" Holly said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, neither girl really knew how to play but assumed they'd catch on pretty quickly.

A voice spoke up from the other side of the table "I'm the dealer, so Emily you go first." It was Becky, jealousy flared up inside Spencer again and anger that the girl would dare to be so suggestive towards Emily. Emily didn't seem to mind as she just giggled and asked how to play, the rules were explained and after a few games everyone seemed to have gotten the hang of it.

Forty five minutes passed in a haze of laughter and copious amounts of beer, both girls were pretty drunk by now. Emily looked over at Spencer with clouded eyes "I'm gonna have to bail on the next game or I'll throw up" she slurred. Spencer chuckled and made to move away from the table so she could go elsewhere with Emily, but she stopped short when Becky appeared at Emily's side.

"Let's go into the other room and dance Em" Becky said before grabbing Emily's hand and pulling her into the next room where the music was louder. Spencer was pissed, she'd always liked Becky but now the girl was getting on her last nerve. She was torn between going after the two girls and being a total cock block or staying at the table and getting wasted. Holly grabbed her arm "Spencer, are you playing? Don't tell me you're a total light weight too?" Decision made, this night was about to get messy.

Thirty minutes more at the table saw Spencer hardly able to see straight, she called it a night on the drinking games thinking an appropriate amount of time had passed to go and find Emily. Plus as everyone got more drunk the more inappropriate the games got, she thought she better leave before she had to spend seven minutes in heaven with one of the swim team. Spencer stumbled through the house looking for Emily eventually making it to a room where a lot of people were dancing. Spencer attempted to navigate between the mass of bodies with little success, the alcohol and her kitten heels making it difficult. She ricocheted off one person and stumbled into another who moved out of the way abruptly sending Spencer off balance more, she felt herself falling but strong arms caught her before she hit the ground. She knew it must be a guy she could smell his cologne. It seemed familiar, she'd smelt it before but where? It was the one Josh usually wore. She spun around in the boys arms and came face to face with an admittedly handsome sandy haired guy she didn't know, she breathed a sigh of relief, Josh was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Whoa, careful there. Don't want a pretty girl like you getting hurt now do we?" He asked. Spencer laughed at his awful attempt at being smooth; the guy was preppy and muscular and would usually have girls swooning with a flash of his dimples. So he took Spencer's laugh to be her flirting. "What are you doing all alone? If I was your boyfriend I wouldn't leave your side" He continued.

Spencer was about to shut him down, tell him he didn't stand a chance when she felt an arm slip around her waist and she was pulled against someone's side. "She isn't alone. Now fuck off" Spencer recognised the voice but not the attitude. The guy backed away raising his hands in mock surrender before turning back towards his friends.

"Wow Em, who knew you were such a badass" Spencer joked, while secretly becoming insanely turned on by this side of Emily. She spun in the other girl's arms so they were face to face, the amount of people in the room forcing their bodies together.

"Well I didn't think your boyfriend would appreciate you being hit on" Emily said as matter of factly as she could manage.

"Boyfriend?" Spencer asked confused.

"The guy from the Chinese place" Emily reminded her pretending she didn't know his name, even the thought of him made her want to punch someone in the face.

"Josh?" Spencer said surprised. "He's not my boyfriend, he's just some guy from class"

"But you're going on a date with him right?" Emily asked hoping the answer had changed overnight.

"Yeah, on Tuesday but…" Spencer stopped trying to think of a way to not say 'but only because I was mad at you'. "I just didn't want to hurt his feelings" she settled on, it wasn't a complete lie.

Emily forced a smile "He seems a nice guy" Lie, lie, lie, she was lying, she hated him.

"He is but he's not…" Spencer had to stop herself again but this time it was because she was about to say 'he's not you'.

Emily saw her struggling with something and decided to save her "Its ok Spence, you don't have to justify yourself to me"

Spencer didn't know what to say, thinking about Josh had officially killed the buzz that had set in when Emily had found her. She felt bad for using the guy and she just really didn't want to go out with him. As they stood there almost awkwardly the music switched to a much slower song and people started to pair up, Spencer looked at Emily nervously she knew she couldn't survive a slow dance. The thought of being pressed even closer to Emily's body made her shiver, Emily looked as uncomfortable as she felt and she was looking around nervously. "Em, can we go home?" Spencer asked.

"Sure" Emily said sounding slightly relieved, now she didn't have to give Becky the slow dance she'd promised her when she'd stormed off to rescue Spencer. Seeing that guy with his hands all over her had made Emily see red and she didn't think twice about leaving Becky in the middle of the dance floor alone.

The girls decided to walk home, well stumble home, Emily kept a firm hold on Spencer's waist to keep both girls upright. They made it to Spencer's apartment relatively unscathed and the walk in the fresh air served to sober them up somewhat. When they got inside they both slumped down on the couch and kicked off their heels, a comfortable silence filled the room as both girls enjoyed the peace and quiet after the chaos of the party.

"I had a good night" Spencer said throwing her head onto the back of the couch and closing her eyes.

"Yeah me too" Emily sighed. "I'm so glad we made up Spence, I hate fighting with you"

Spencer rolled her head to look at Emily, not lifting it off the back of the couch. "I hate fighting with you too, let's not do it again ok?"

"Ok" Emily said with a giggle. "So how much did you actually drink tonight?" she asked.

"Enough" Spencer said with a smirk. "But not enough to join in with the game of spin the bottle that started up after fuck to dealer"

Emily chuckled "Aw I'm sad I missed that one" she joked.

"Oh really?" Spencer asked. "I don't think you needed the bottle the way you and Becky were headed tonight" she teased while really trying to gauge what was going on with Emily and Becky's relationship.

"There's nothing going on with me and Becky, Spence" Emily said firmly, leaving no doubt in Spencer's mind that she was telling the truth. "And it definitely won't be anytime soon. I kinda bailed on a slow dance I promised her"

"Em you're such a player. What are you doing treating her mean and keeping her keen?" Spencer said poking Emily in the side causing the other girl to jump.

"No. I just don't see her that way. And anyway I got a better offer." Emily said looking away shyly.

"Really? From who?" Spencer asked turning her body towards Emily.

Emily cleared her throat nervously. "Well you asked me to come home with you"

Spencer's heart melted a little bit at hearing Emily say that. "That doesn't sound like a better option to me"

Emily looked at Spencer dead in the eyes and Spencer couldn't help but gulp slightly at the intensity. "You're always the better option Spence"

Spencer didn't know what to do or say in response, her heart did a summersault at what those words could mean. Emily would rather be with her than Becky, and Becky was gorgeous, she couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

"What?" Emily said self-consciously, beginning to regret her confession. Why had she said that? She was so stupid some times.

"Nothing" Spencer answered taking Emily's hand reassuringly. "I'm just sorry you missed your slow dance that all"

Emily laughed softly glad Spencer didn't seem too freaked out. "It's ok, really" she breathed.

"No I feel bad. I'm gonna make it up to you" Spencer said as she jumped up and made her way over to her docking station. She scrolled through her iPod looking for the perfect song, when she found it she hit play. The sound of acoustic guitar filled the room as Spencer reached for Emily's hand pulling her off the couch and into her arms. Spencer kept a tight hold on Emily's hand placing them between both of their chests right over her own heart, the other hand she slipped around the other girl's waist to keep them pressed together. Emily placed her hand on Spencer's shoulder and then laid her cheek on top of her hand snuggling her face into the paler girl's neck taking in her scent and the warmth of her skin.

_All I knew this morning when I woke_

_Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before_

Spencer began swaying slowly to the music, relishing the feeling of holding Emily in her arms and having the girl all to herself. She hummed along softly to the tune trying to commit to memory the feeling of Emily's soft breath against her neck. Spencer pressed her fingertips more firmly against the small of Emily's back trying to feel her smooth skin under the thin material of Emily's blouse.

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now_

Emily felt Spencer pull her fractionally closer so that there was now no space between their bodies, every inch of them that was pressed together Emily seemed to be hyper aware of. She hoped that Spencer wouldn't be able to feel how her heart was frantically beating in her chest. She couldn't believe she was here; being held this way by Spencer Hastings. As if the other girl could read her thoughts Spencer squeezed her fingers and Emily's stomach flipped.

_'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello."_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name_

_Everything has changed_

Spencer listened to the words of the song she'd picked and thought about all the things that had changed this last week. She wondered how it had taken her this long to realise that Emily was the most beautiful creature on this planet, inside and out. How could she have missed that Emily was the only person who ever really saw her? Spencer laid her head on top of Emily's pressing a soft kiss to her temple and breathing her in.

_And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies_

_The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,_

_Taking flight, making me feel like_

_I just wanna know you better_

Emily heard Spencer let out a sigh as she lifted her head off her own, she couldn't believe how perfect this moment felt. The song that Spencer had picked seemed to speak every thought that was going through her mind. She always thought that she knew Spencer pretty well but now she realised there was a whole other side of the girl that she could never know and she desperately wanted to. She needed Spencer to know that she was her safety, that being with her like this felt like home, but how could she without the other girl figuring her out? Emily knew words would not be her friend in this situation so instead she turned her face up slightly and touched her lips to Spencer's jawline.

_Come back and tell me why_

_I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh._

_And meet me there tonight_

_And let me know that it's not all in my mind._

Spencer gasped slightly as she felt Emily kiss her, causing the other girl to pull away and look up at her with sad eyes. Spencer didn't mean to make Emily scared that she'd done something wrong but she couldn't help the way her body reacted to the touch. Spencer had to let Emily know that what she'd done was ok, that it hadn't freaked her out. So she did the only thing she could think of, she leant forward looking Emily in the eyes before focusing on her lips, she saw the other girl leaning in to meet her as her eyes drifted closed. Their lips pressed together and they both felt the room spin, the contact was brief, the ghost of a kiss. Neither girl could help the smile that tugged at their lips as they pulled away.

_All I know is we said, "Hello."_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name_

_Everything has changed_

When Emily pulled away Spencer had never felt so light or so happy, she looked into Emily's eyes and she felt her heart begin to pound out of control. She couldn't put her finger on what she was feeling right now because it was like nothing she had ever felt before. She thought about the kiss it had hardly been there but it had happened and it wasn't enough. What if this was the only chance she ever got to kiss Emily? That couldn't be all she ever had of her. She craved more even after that small taste. Spencer brought her hand up to Emily's cheek and ran the pad of her thumb over her perfect skin. Emily leant into the touch closing her eyes to savour the moment. That was all the encouragement Spencer needed she leant in again connecting their lips for a second time, it felt just as amazing as the first kiss. There was a spark and a fire she'd never felt with anyone else, she knew she would never be able to get enough of kissing Emily Fields. Spencer just kept her lips pressed against Emily's at first trying the gauge the other girl's reaction, when she wasn't pushed away she began moving her lips, slowly, tenderly. Her stomach flipped when she felt Emily's lips moving with her own.

_All I know is we said, "Hello."_

_So dust off your highest hopes_

_All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed_

Emily's hand went to the back of Spencer's neck, keeping her where she was, she was terrified that at any moment this would stop or she'd wake up and this will all have been a dream. She clung to Spencer tightly because the more she could feel the other girl's body against hers the more she knew this was real, this had to be real, she couldn't survive if this wasn't real. All thoughts left her mind when she felt Spencer's tongue sweep across her bottom lip asking for the kiss to be deepened. Emily eagerly opened her mouth and couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped her throat as the tip of Spencer's tongue ran across her own.

_All I know is a new found grace_

_All my days I'll know your face_

Their tongues fought for dominance of the kiss, Emily knew that Spencer would win but she also knew that the other girl needed the challenge first. Emily allowed the kiss to enter her mouth where Spencer flicked her tongue from side to side against her own, the action eliciting a simultaneous moan from both girls. Nothing Emily had experienced had ever felt so intense and it only got more so as Spencer's tongue continued to explore her mouth. Despite Spencer taking charge of the kiss she was still tender and gentle as though she was trying to show Emily that this was more than lust, it was much, much more than that. Before Emily was ready the kiss started to slow down until it just became a series of short pecks and then they stopped kissing all together, but neither girl pulled away. They just stood inches apart breathing heavily, breathing each other in with each heaving gasp.

_All I know since yesterday is everything has changed_

* * *

**I've never done this fic thing before, so I've never used a song in writing or written a kiss before. I hope they were ok. If you liked it let me know, if you didn't let me know how I can improve it. I say it every time but I really do love hearing what you have to say and you're reviews inspire me to keep writing and updating quickly.**

**P.S. Thank you togaby2angel for the slow-dancing-in-the-living-room idea. I hope I did it justice.**


	10. Chapter 9

**I forgot to mention at the end of the last chapter that the song I used was Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran '**_**Everything Has Changed'. **_**I know most people probably already knew but whatever, I just thought I'd clear it up. **

**Thank you to everyone who has followed or made my story a favourite. And as always thank you too all of you amazing people that reviewed.**

**Shellmar: That was not the end no. I hope to carry this story on for a while, so panic not.**

**Craycrayforshay: I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much, I really do live to give you Spemily feels now. I am obsessed with that song at the minute so it had to go in.**

**gaby2angel: Yay! It makes me happy that I did your idea justice. And there may be a bit more aggressive Emily in future chapters.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: Sorry you had to wait so long for the kiss, I hope it was worth the wait.**

**RSSJ: I completely agree, I didn't want it to be rushed. It had to be right. I'm so glad you understand haha.**

**CloudGypsy: Wow. I don't even know what to say back to that. Just thank you. I must have read this review like 10 times. Every time I've had a shit day at work I've read your review and it's made me smile. I'm glad you love it and I'm probably in lesbians with you too. Just sayin'**

**Simplyathinker: YES! I love fangirling.**

**Ok so I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, something just doesn't feel right. It's a bit everywhere and a bit up and down but I'm going with it anyway. Be gentle with me.**

**I don't own pretty little liars.**

**Enjoy….**

* * *

Chapter 9:

Emily opened her eyes slowly and was met with the most beautiful sight she could imagine. Spencer was a breath away from her, her eyes still closed, her cheeks flushed, her hair slightly messed up and a small smile on her now swollen lips. Their kiss had been passionate and full of want, she wanted Spencer and Spencer kissed her like she wanted her back. But she couldn't could she? Spencer was straight, she was still in love with Toby and she was… drunk. Utter panic crashed over Emily as that thought crossed her mind, Spencer was drunk, that had to be the explanation. The swimmer quickly and clumsily untangled her fingers from Spencer's bringing both hands to the other girls chest and pushing her away, breaking their embrace. Emily took two steps away from Spencer, she couldn't think straight with the girl's body still against her own. She turned away quickly before there was a chance that she would catch any look of regret that might pass across the other girls face; she knew her heart couldn't take that. She knew in her heart that Spencer would regret what had just happened but she didn't need to see the realisation dawn on her. Emily covered her face with her hands attempting to hide from the world of trouble that she had just created, how could she be so stupid? This was Spencer, her best friend, the person who was always there for her, even if it was just in the background, but still there none the less. And she'd fucked it up, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Spencer didn't know what had just happened, one second she was in a state of utter bliss holding Emily in her arms after the most mind blowing kiss, the next she felt cold and terrified and Emily was stood out of her reach. She should never be out of her reach; it should be the law that Emily had to be in her arms at every second of everyday from now on. When she wasn't everything felt wrong. Spencer took a cautious step towards Emily, scared to move too fast in case the other girl ran away. She was confused right now, she didn't know what was going on, but what she did know was that she couldn't survive Emily walking away from her again.

"Em?" Spencer asked in barely above a whisper, Emily didn't respond so she took another small step towards her. "Look at me please" she almost begged as her voice cracked, the raw emotion making Emily flinch a little bit. Spencer for a split second thought the other girl was going to turn around, but Emily stayed with her back towards her. Spencer couldn't stand not being able to see Emily's face; she reached out slowly and placed her hand on the other girls shoulder. Emily didn't try to move away so Spencer took that as a good sign and took another tiny step towards her, they were so close again now that she could feel the heat from the other girl's body. It was intoxicating but Spencer needed to see her face. "Emily?" she tried again but this time the name came out like a sob, this finally drew a reaction.

Hearing the pain in Spencer voice Emily spun around and she was back in the other girl's arms again, Spencer had been stood so close that she couldn't have avoided it even if she wanted to. Spencer's arms were around her waist holding on to her tightly, Emily hadn't even had the chance to move her arms properly so they were pinned between both of their chests as Spencer refused to loosen her grip. Emily leant forward resting her forehead on the paler girl's shoulder and began to cry, the combination of shock and relief that Spencer didn't seem to hate her making her tears unavoidable. She looked up at Spencer through blurred eyes, "I'm sorry Spencer. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…" she had to stop as she chocked on a sob.

"Please don't" Spencer breathed out, cutting Emily off while she tried to compose herself.

"Don't what? Emily asked confused.

"Don't apologise" Spencer almost begged. "Unless you're sorry that it happened" she paused to scan Emily's face trying to catch any hint of regret. She couldn't tell, but right now she had to be brave "I'm not sorry Emily" she admitted.

Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did Spencer actually just admit that she didn't regret their kiss? Emily almost laughed, "I'm not sorry it happened either" she confessed.

"Then what are you apologising for?" Spencer asked but didn't give Emily a chance to reply before she leant forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of the swimmers mouth.

Emily's heart fluttered at the brief contact and she couldn't help herself from turning her head and capturing Spencer's lips in a chaste kiss. "I'm not sorry" she whispered against the other girl's skin. They pulled away to look at one another properly for a second, "but you're drunk" Emily continued, voicing the fear that was nagging at her.

"And?" Spencer shot out. "I'm not that drunk Emily. And I think you know me better than to think that I would do something I don't want to, no matter how drunk I am."

Emily was taken aback by Spencer's assertion. "This wouldn't have happened if we weren't drunk, you know that" she reasoned.

"Maybe not" Spencer agreed. "But only because I would never have had the courage to do it otherwise. I didn't mean for it to happen this way, I'm sorry" she said taking a lock of Emily's hair between her thumb and forefinger and twirling it.

"Don't you start now as well" Emily reprimanded as Spencer apologised for no reason after the paler girl had just called her out on it minutes before.

"Sorry" Spencer said without thinking causing both girls to burst out laughing. Spencer put her head on Emily's shoulder as she tried to control her hysterics but quickly became aware that she had unintentionally gone for the one shoulder that wasn't covered by Emily's top and her cheek was lying on bare tanned flesh. The feeling of Emily's smooth skin against her own filled Spencer with unexpected desire, she began pressing a series of gentle kisses along the girls shoulder and collar bone. Emily's laughed stopped abruptly as the jovial atmosphere in the room turned to something much more lustful.

Spencer stopped kissing Emily's shoulder and looked at her dead in the eyes; she cupped the tanned girl's cheeks to keep her attention. "I might have had a few drinks Em, but I hadn't last night when I wanted to chase you out of this apartment and tell you everything I was feeling. I hadn't any morning I've woken up recently and been disappointed that you weren't lying next to me. I hadn't last weekend when you were in New York and I could hardly function without you. I hadn't…" She was cut off when Emily's lips captured her own. Before her brain even had time to register what was going on her body was responding her lips were moving with Emily's. The kiss was hungry and rough, so unlike their previous one, but it was perfect. Spencer slipped her hand into Emily's hair enjoying getting lost in its silkiness; she couldn't help pulling on the strands that surrounded her fingers, eliciting a moan from the other girl. Emily's response caused Spencer to smile into the kiss feeling a little bit cocky at the way Emily responded to such a simple action. Her ego disappeared pretty quickly when she felt Emily's teeth graze across her bottom lip, tugging gently before biting down on the sensitive flesh. Spencer's head swam and her knees buckled at Emily's roughness, she had to grab on to the other girl's body to steady herself. Their bodies were pulled together, their hips met with a bump and Spencer couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her throat.

Emily took Spencer's stumble as her opportunity to take control of the kiss and she ran her tongue along the lip she had just bitten. Spencer opened her mouth begging for the kiss to be deepened and Emily melted into her mouth, she needed Spencer to know how wanted she was. Emily ran her tongue against Spencer's, pushing slightly when she felt the other girl begin to duel with her, she wasn't letting Spencer get the upper hand this time. She felt some of the fight leave Spencer's body as she let out a moan at Emily's dominance, the paler girl finding this new side of Emily insanely hot. Emily had been so overwhelmed with disbelief last time they'd kissed that she hadn't really paid attention to all the things that were Spencer. Now she revelled in the sweet taste of her tongue as it moved with hers and the heat of her breath as it mingled with her own. Everything in her felt so alive when she kissed Spencer. Emily kissed the other girl's lips quickly before kissing her cheek and then her jaw and finally her throat. She peppered light kisses up the column of Spencer's neck, breathing in the sweet musk of her skin; reaching her ear she gently ran her lips around the rim. The sound of Emily's quickened breathing in her ear made Spencer whimper slightly but when the swimmer pressed a lingering kiss behind her ear she had to tighten her grip on Emily's hair just to keep herself grounded. She had never been more turned on but this increased dramatically when Emily slowly began kissing back down her neck and nipped gently above where she could feel Spencer's pulse hammering.

"Shit Em" Spencer gasped.

The lust in her voice making Emily come to her senses, she had no calm this down before it went too far. "Sorry" Emily whispered as she smiled against the other girl's skin.

"You are so not" Spencer said as she groaned.

Emily detached her lip from Spencer's neck to look at her. "You're right" she said with a smirk as she leant in for one last chaste kiss that she hoped would calm both of their now raging hormones. As much as she wanted to she couldn't let this go too far, they had too much to talk about.

They took a small step apart, but couldn't bring themselves to move too far away from one another. Spencer brushed a piece of hair behind Emily's ear. "You are so beautiful" she whispered as she took in Emily's features. Her words caused Emily to frown slightly, it was not exactly the reaction she was expecting. "What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

Emily sighed; grabbing Spencer's hand she pulled them over to the couch and turned off the IPod that neither girl had realised was still playing. She sat down next to Spencer and turned to face her, staying silent for a few moments trying to think of how exactly to start the conversation. Taking a deep breath she decided to just throw herself in, "What does this mean?" she asked looking down at her hands nervously.

"I don't know" Spencer replied.

Emily looked up at Spencer with a desperate expression. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know" Spencer replied again.

"What do we tell people? _Do_ we tell people" Emily asked.

"I don't know" Spencer replied for a third time as she reached out and took Emily's hand to try and still the tremble she saw there.

"Are you gay?" Emily asked in a quiet voice.

"I don't know" Spencer said, she was starting to sound robotic now but she just _didn't know_. She needed Emily to stop asking questions.

"What are we going to do?" Emily asked sounding like she was about to cry.

"I don't know" Spencer said in a pained voice, knowing she wasn't giving Emily to work with here but she had nothing else to say.

"You don't know anything" Emily shot out. "Do you want us to see where this goes? Should we go out on a date? Do you want us to be together?"

"I don't know Em" Spencer said desperately

"Then we need to figure it out" Emily said on the verge of hysterical. "Have you really thought about this?"

"I have done nothing _but _think about this" Spencer said more sternly than she meant to, she was frustrated that she didn't know what to say. She always knew what to say.

"I mean seriously thought about this Spencer. Like if we did date you would have to tell people, people would find out. And if we worked out you'd have to come out. To your parents, to your sister to the girls. Could you do that? People can be cruel, will you be able to deal with that?" Emily reeled off, finally voicing all of her worries.

"Emily please stop" Spencer begged. "I don't know the answers, how can I know until I try?"

"Spencer I need more than that. I can't be your experiment" Emily said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Spencer reached across and wiped the tear away quickly, her heart ached at the idea that Emily could think that way. "You could never just be an experiment to me. You are my best friend" Spencer assured.

"Exactly" Emily said. "That is what's most important here Spence. I can't and I won't lose you as a friend. I won't risk us"

Spencer took a deep breath; of course she understood exactly where Emily was coming from. The tanned girl had, had her heart broken so many times and had lost so many people that she loved deeply, she understood her reluctance to jump into anything with someone who seemed so unsure. But there was one thing she was sure of: Emily. Spencer scooted closer to her and cupped Emily's right cheek in her left hand, "I might not know the answers to all of the questions you've asked me Em, but I do know how I feel about you. I'm falling for you Emily and I can't stop. And if I'm completely honest with you I don't want to either"

"Spence" Emily breathed, trying to stop herself from crying at Spencer's heartfelt admission. "I can't tell you how amazing it makes me feel to hear you say that, but I don't want to rush into this in the heat of the moment." Emily said her eyes never leaving Spencer's. She saw the other girl's head dip in disappointed understanding, they both knew this was right but it didn't make it any easier. Emily reached over placing a finger under Spencer's chin, lifting her head so she was looking at her again. "Just for the record I'm falling for you too Spencer"

Spencer laughed lightly. "Well how could you not be" she said trying to lighten the mood, she saw Emily smile slightly. "Emily I agree that we need to take this slow" she reassured. "Where do we go from here?" she asked

"You need to figure some stuff out Spence. Decide what it is you really want and if I'm worth the risk" Emily said calmly, she remembered what it was like to be in Spencer's position and she didn't want to put pressure on her.

"Em don't you dare say that" Spencer said angrily. "Worth the risk? I'd die for you, you know that right?" she asked.

"I know that" Emily said as she squeezed Spencer fingers. "But this is different, this is a different kind of risk"

"I know" Spencer replied simply.

"You need to go and make sure this is right for you, I want there to be no room for doubt with anything. I want you to go on your date with Josh and see if there is anything there. Go and speak to some people and see what it was like for them when they came out." Emily suggested. "Figure it out and then come back to me"

How could Spencer have any doubts, Emily was amazing. Spencer could see that saying these things was breaking Emily's heart but still she was giving her space to figure this out, she was making sure she didn't put any pressure on her. Despite this, and as much as Spencer hated herself for it, she did have doubts and she knew she owed it to Emily to work through them, she just didn't know where to start. "What if I take too long?" She asked in a scared voice. "What if I miss my chance?"

Emily smiled sweetly at Spencer. "There's no such thing as too long. I refused to wait for Paige when she wasn't sure of what she wanted and no matter where we are now she changed my life, she helped save me. I almost missed out on that and I won't make that mistake again."

"I can't ask you to wait for me Emily" Spencer said, if Emily was willing to give her space she had to be willing to accept that people might come along in the meantime.

"I'm offering" is all Emily replied.

"Em…" Spencer was about to protest but was cut off when Emily placed her hand over her mouth.

"Good things are worth waiting for Spence" Emily said with a smirk.

Spencer reached up and removed Emily's hand from over her mouth before she leant forward and kissed her lips gently. When she pulled away she sighed "Don't wait. If someone comes along while I'm still figuring it out I don't want you to miss out on them"

Emily nodded sadly "I won't be looking for anyone else" she reassured the other girl, causing her to smile. "It wouldn't be fair on anyway, you're pretty tough competition" she joked as she bumped Spencer's shoulder with her own.

Spencer looked over at the swimmer, she felt so lucky, Emily was sweet and understanding and caring and it made her question if she really deserved it. After everything that had happened over the years Spencer wasn't used to things working out. Yet here she was, she had just told Emily how she felt and she hadn't run away, it was more than she could ever have hoped for that the girl could actually like her back. She knew she wasn't ready right now to be with Emily, but sitting there looking in her eyes and seeing all the love and compassion they held she knew one day soon she would be. "Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked.

"I was planning on it" Emily replied with a laugh.

"Good" Spencer chuckled in return as she pulled Emily into her and sat back against the cushions of the couch, Emily snuggled into Spencer's side putting her head on the paler girls chest and throwing her arm over her waist. Spencer kissed Emily's hair and breathed her in as they sat there and tried to comprehend everything that had just happened. The mood was simultaneously one of happiness that their feelings were finally out in the open and disappointment that it couldn't be right now. They sat that way for a few minutes until Emily broke the silence, "I'm gonna go get changed ok?" she asked as she got up off of Spencer.

"Sure" Spencer said with a small smile. As Emily walked past her she ran her finger gently along her jaw line, Spencer's eyes fluttered shut at her touch. Spencer turned her head watching Emily leave over her shoulder, as soon as she was out of sight the paler girl threw her hands over her face to hide the her huge grin that had broken out. She kicked her legs like an excited child, sure she and Emily weren't together, it wasn't perfect, but Spencer felt hope for the first time in longer than she cared to admit.

Emily grabbed her bag from Spencer's room and headed to the bathroom. She shut the door behind her and leant her back against it taking a deep breath and enjoying the fact that she didn't have to contain her smile anymore. She bit her lip trying to stop the grin but she couldn't, it was impossible. Emily made her way over to the mirror and looked at her reflection; she almost didn't recognise the person looking back. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and the smile was still plastered across her lips, but it was her eyes that looked different, there was a sparkle and a life that she hadn't realised was missing until now. Letting out a single breathy laugh she turned away from the mirror to get changed.

* * *

Spencer was making her way out of her bedroom, having gotten changed into her pyjamas, when she heard the bathroom door open with a click. She looked over and her mouth went dry, Emily emerged from the room wearing Spencer's hockey jersey, that she had taken home after the first night she stayed over a month ago and had refused to give back, and a pair of ridiculously short cotton shorts. There was something about Emily having the name 'Hastings' emblazoned across her chest that Spencer found all of a sudden incredibly sexy. Not to mention the amount of Emily's toned legs that were on view right now. Spencer raked her eyes over Emily's body appreciatively, how the fuck had she missed that Emily was a goddess until now?

"Holy shit" Spencer muttered, unaware that she had actually said it out loud.

"What?" Emily asked self-consciously, crossing her arms over her chest, the action pulling her top up slightly and revealing a strip of skin at her hips. Spencer didn't answer her question; she just stepped towards Emily, keeping her eyes locked on her body. Her fingers found the newly exposed flesh, ghosting across it lightly and drawing a shiver from Emily. The tanned girl unfolded her arms and placed her hands on Spencer's forearms before running them up and draping her arms over the other girl's shoulders. Spencer was finally able to tear her eyes away from Emily' body to look at her face, the swimmer was biting her lip; the sight caused a tingle to flutter through Spencer's entire body. She crashed her lips against Emily's, it was slightly clumsy as she took the other girl by surprise but they quickly recovered. Spencer used her hold on Emily's hips to push her against the wall behind them. Emily let out a breathy gasp as her back hit the solid surface, any possible pain numbed by how turned on the action had made her. Spencer stepped closer to her pining her to the wall with her hips; she ran her hands up Emily's sides under her shirt. The tips of her fingers tingled where they came into contact with Emily's skin and she wished she could do this every day. The realisation that she couldn't sent a stab of pain straight to her chest. She pulled away from the swimmers lips and pressed their foreheads together. "I can't pretend tonight didn't happen Em" Spencer breathed.

"I'm not asking you to pretend it didn't happen" Emily replied softly, confused about how the mood had moved from lust to sadness so quickly. "We just have to take our time"

Spencer let out a dry laugh as she stood up straight, keeping Emily firmly pressed against the wall. "Take our time?" she asked incredulously. "Jesus, I only told you how I feel like thirty minutes ago and I've already almost ripped your clothes off" she said looking away from Emily's face.

Emily chuckled slightly "I hardly put up a fight so don't look so guilty" She said leaning forward and kissing Spencer on the cheek.

"You couldn't have worn long pants or something?" Spencer asked mockingly as she groaned and let her head drop to Emily's shoulder.

"Shut up" Emily said shoving Spencer's shoulder playfully. "Now get off me you horn dog. It's like being around a teenage boy" she said as she used her back to push herself and Spencer away from the wall and moving away from the other girl.

"Hey" Spencer shouted after her as she feigned offence, she was secretly excited by their easy flirting, this all just felt so right.

"Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself if we watch a movie before bed?" Emily asked from the other room.

"No" Spencer replied, pouting as she rounded the corner.

An easy giggle escaped Emily's mouth as she grabbed spencer's hand and pulled her over to the couch. "Well you'll have to try." She said, sounding more like a mother talking to a child.

"Ok" Spencer said in a sigh as Emily went over to the TV and slipped a disc into the DVD player before making her way back over to the couch.

"Scootch" Emily said as she swatted at Spencer's legs, she began to move and Emily positioned her how she wanted her. Spencer ended up with her back against the armrest and her legs up on the couch. Emily then climbed between her legs laying her back against Spencer's chest and snuggling into her. Both girls smiled contentedly as the movie began.

"Despicable Me again? Really Em?" Spencer asked pretending to be exasperated, she really found Emily's obsession with this movie endearing.

"Yes again" Emily said unapologetically. "Is there a problem?"

"We've watched this movie like twenty times, I could probably act it out for you by now" Spencer whined.

Emily laughed "Yeah, yeah, yeah" she said effectively ending the argument.

After a while Emily laid her head back on Spencer's shoulder causing the paler girl to smile, it felt so comfortable and familiar. She turned her head and pressed kisses from Emily's temple down the side of her face to her cheek, she felt the other girl smile before their attention went back to the movie. As more time went by Spencer ran her hand around Emily's waist, allowing it to come to rest low on her stomach, just above the waistband of her shorts. When she wasn't batted away her confidence grew and she slipped her fingers under Emily's shirt, felling her smooth skin under her fingertips.

"Spence" Emily said warningly but Spencer could hear the smile in her voice.

"Shhh" Spencer replied "I'm trying to watch the movie" she tried to sound serious.

Emil laughed despite herself, sliding her hand over Spencer's and interlocking their fingers. The rest of the night was spent sitting comfortably this way.

* * *

**Hmmmm….yeah so that's it. Please, please, please review they make all of this worth it and like I've said before they give me ideas and inspiration. Let me know what you think, if you liked or hated it.**


	11. Chapter 10

**As ever thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing and favouriting and following….everything. I'm so overwhelmed by it all genuinely.**

**Recklesslittleliar: I'm so sorry I haven't given you a shout out before now, I always read you're reviews. I didn't realise I hadn't mentioned them before. Thank you so much for sticking with me it means the world. You will get a shout out every time from now on!**

**Sofiaocampo: hmmmm….they won't really be cut any slack this chapter but hopefully you'll like where it's heading.**

**Breyanaxo: I'm so glad you think I'm doing the right thing :)**

**Beautifuldreamerr: uh oh! This chapter has a lot of Josh :/ But hopefully there will be lots more cute Spemily moments soon.**

**Soooo….Spencer's going on her date with Josh. Everyone hates him but let's see what happens.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 10:

The slightly euphoric feelings of Saturday night had dulled by Sunday morning, both girls realised they had to face reality. Well at least they did once they were out of bed; it was still pretty exciting to wake up in each other's arms with the memories of the confessions and kisses from the night before still fresh in their minds. But everything had to go back to normal, or at least as normal as they could manage. Spencer felt like she might cry when Emily had left after breakfast, there were no hugs or kisses goodbye; neither girl was sure if they could stop themselves if they started. Although Spencer knew she had a lot to figure out and had to get a lot of things straight in her head the idea of taking things slowly still stung. She wanted to be able to hold and kiss Emily whenever she felt like doing so, but she knew that Emily was right, she wasn't sure if she was ready for the ramifications of being with a woman. She wasn't sure if she was ready for the looks and the questions and the comments. She had just got out from underneath –A's constant gaze, she didn't want to feel like all eyes were on her all over again.

Both girls had decided to go on as usual, no avoiding each other or over thinking whether to call or text the other. They would go on like always, just with the knowledge that they both wanted each other, which should be easy right? Their Monday night trip to the movies wasn't as awkward as they thought it wold be, they had even managed to make light of the situation when Emily joked about avoiding the back row of the theatre just in case. All in all the night went by without too much tension, they began to think that maybe they do this after all. That was until Emily realised that tomorrow night was Spencer's date with Josh and she got that all-consuming feeling of jealously that she was learning to associate with the boy. Emily had gone silent pretty quickly at the thought of him, Spencer of course had noticed and the tension that had been missing all night reared its ugly little head.

* * *

It was now Tuesday and Spencer was getting ready for, and dreading, her date with Josh. She'd called Emily before the other girl left for swim practice and asked her if she really had to go. The swimmer had reluctantly explained again why it was necessary for her to make sure she had explored every avenue. Spencer felt guilty for stringing Emily along and for deciding before the date had even begun that it would go badly. Josh was a nice guy, a good guy, he deserved better than someone who wasn't really interested. So she had decided to give it her best go, he deserved that at least, but more importantly she had promised Emily that she would.

When Josh had called to arrange the date he had told Spencer to pick a restaurant, which she guessed was sweet…or lazy, she hadn't decided yet. Either was she had chosen a small bistro just off the beaten track and made a reservation for 7.30. Josh had seemed happy with her choice and had promised to pick her up at 7, it was now 5.30 and Spencer knew that if she stood any change of being ready on time she had to start moving now. She reluctantly dragged herself off the couch and headed for the shower, she washed her hair quickly before stepping from underneath the water and wrapping a towel around her body. Walking into her bedroom she slipped on some underwear and sat on the edge of her bed in front of her vanity mirror to blow dry her hair. Once she was done and happy with the way her hair curled and fell around her face she moved over to her closet .Pulling the doors open she scanned the contents, she wanted to find something that would impress, this was a date after all, but also something that wouldn't make her look like she was trying too hard.

The first dress that Spencer tried on was a peach colour with frills, it looked nice but maybe a bit too summery for December. She slipped the dress off and threw it into the corner of the room. The next outfit she tried was purple scoop necked top and a high waisted skirt, but she wasn't happy with this either, she fished through her jewellery box pulling out a few necklaces and throwing them around her neck hoping this would help. She looked in the mirror and sighed, she looked too much like she was going to a job interview. She dragged this outfit off too, throwing it on top of the dress in the corner of the room. She started again, she was starting to feel a little nervous and she had no idea why. This time she went for something a little more casual opting for a deep blue blouse which she tucked into her tightest skinny jeans before putting on brown boots. She looked in the mirror groaning, this wasn't right either. She pulled the clothes off, throwing them onto the growing pile and walking over to her closet for the fourth time. She looked down the rail again, she was getting frustrated now, why did she care so much, she didn't even like Josh but she was stressing over her outfit so much. Her eyes fell on a dark grey spaghetti strap dress, she pulled it on hastily, she was pretty sure this was the one. The dress stopped about midway down her thigh, again she wasn't sure if it was really suitable for winter, but she could fix that. She slipped on a tightly fitted blazer which she added a thin belt around to further accentuate her tiny waist, she then pulled on her above the knee black boots. Spencer looked in the mirror and was finally happy with what she saw. She sat back at her mirror and spent the next ten minutes getting her make up perfect; when she was done it was twenty minutes to seven. She picked up a handbag that complimented her outfit and went out into the living room to track down all the items she would need for the evening. As she picked up her cell phone it began to buzz in her hand, she looked down at the caller ID, it was Josh. Was he here already? Fifteen minutes early, she was impressed. She answered the call, "Hello?"

"Hi Spencer" Josh said, he sounded nervous and Spencer couldn't help but smile, there was no denying Josh was sweet. "You're gonna hate me"

The smile slipped from Spencer's face, she was confused. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

Josh just seemed to pick up where he left off before. "And you should hate me, because I'm the biggest jerk ever, its only fifteen minutes until our date. You are going to hate me" he rambled.

"Ok" Spencer cut him off. "Can you tell me why I hate you? She asked.

Josh took a deep breath. "Some friends and I entered a knowledge bowl" he paused ""It's kind of like a quiz thing." he began to explain.

"I know what a knowledge bowl is Josh" Spencer cut in sounding short.

"Yeah, right" He stuttered. "Well we got knocked out before the semi-finals, but a team got disqualified so we got called up. And….the semi-final is tonight" He paused.

"Oh" Spencer breathed, she looked down at her outfit that she had spent so long picking out and began to feel entirely stupid.

"We called everyone we could think of but no one can take my place. I can't let my team down" Josh said quietly.

Spencer had to save some of her shattered pride, she didn't want to seem too bitter. "No of course you can't I completely understand" she said trying to keep her voice even, it was threatening to crack at any moment.

"I'm so sorry Spencer" Josh offered. "I'll make it up to you I promise" he said.

"Don't worry about it Josh. Just….win ok" Spencer tried to sound reasonable.

"We'll try" Josh said, felling stuck for what more to say.

"Ok, well I gotta go" Spencer lied, scared her voice would betray her very soon if she didn't end this conversation.

"I'm so sorry" Josh said again.

"Good luck" Spencer offered before hanging up the phone. She flopped backwards onto the couch and threw her arm across her eyes, attempting to stem the tears that were flowing from them. She felt so stupid, she'd taken so long getting ready, she'd made sure her hair, her makeup , her outfit was perfect, she'd made reservations that she would now have to cancel. She felt like a fool and she was embarrassed. She hadn't even wanted to go on the date; she didn't know why she was so upset. But she just felt pathetic, she'd been stood up by a guy she didn't even like. Spencer looked at the phone still in her hand, she wanted to throw it at the wall, she pressed a button to light up the screen and she caught sight of her background. It was a picture of her and Emily taken in the bathroom of a club, Emily was laughing at the stupid face Spencer was pulling, it was candid and Emily looked so beautiful. The tight knot of anger and embarrassment in Spencer's chest loosened a bit at the sight of the swimmer. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips but it quickly disappeared as she sighed, she had a phone call to make.

* * *

Emily's practice had gone well, she felt good. The heavy work out had served to ease some of the tension that had built up over the last few days. She'd decided to shower at home so she could take her time under the hot water and work out all the kinks that had appeared. Right now she was stood in the middle of her room in just her underwear trying to decide what to wear for the rest of the evening she had planned. She heard a noise coming from her duffel bag, realising it was her phone she fished around I the side pocket until she found the device, her heart skipped a beat when she saw who was calling. She answered quickly "Hey Spence, aren't you supposed to be on a date?"

"Yeah, Yeah I am." Spencer said sounding distracted. "I got stood up" she said so quietly Emily almost missed it, she could hear the tears in Spencer's voice and it made rage erupt within her.

"What the fuck!" she shouted. "He stood you up? Seriously" she asked incredulously.

"Yes seriously. I feel so stupid Em" Spencer admitted.

"Believe me Spencer you are not the stupid one. Who does that grinning idiot think he is? He stood you up?" Emily asked again. Before Spencer could say anything Emily began again. "Has he looked at you? You do not stand girls like you up. He is an idiot" Emily ranted as she dug through her closet. She pulled out her skinny jeans and started to tug them on.

Spencer laughed an emotionless laugh. "Thanks Em. But god I feel so stupid" She said again. "I tried on four outfits tonight" By now Emily had slipped on a cream floaty blouse and was looking for her boots.

"Four? Really? Emily said, jealousy flaring up inside her that Spencer would try so hard for this guy.

"Yeah I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard" Spencer replied as Emily laced up the boots that she had finally found under her bed.

"Did he just not show up?" Emily asked still incredulous that anyone could stand up Spencer Hastings.

"No he called" Spencer said. Emily was now grabbing her handbag and looking for her car keys.

"Well I hope he had a good excuse" The swimmer sad sternly.

"He called around 6.45 to…" Spencer began but was cut off by Emily.

"Wait he called at 6.45? He was meant to pick you up at 7!" Emily shouted as she attempted to close her front door quietly behind her.

"I know right?" I'm completely ready. My hair is done, my makeups done, I'm all dressed up. My purse is even packed Em." Spencer said sounding small. It made Emily's heat melt at the thought of Spencer sat there ready with nowhere to go. She hit the elevator button a few more times impatiently.

"God he's such a jerk. If I didn't hate him before, I do now. I'm gonna kill him if I ever see him again" Emily said angrily.

Spencer couldn't help but chuckle at Emily's reaction. "You sound like Hanna" she joked.

"I don't care. I will" Emily replied.

"Why did you hate him before?" Spencer asked hoping she already knew the answer.

Emily paused before she answered, smiling because she knew why Spencer was asking. She decided to give her this once since she was having a bad day. "Because he was going out on a date with you and I was jealous" she said in a matter of fact tone.

"Well you don't have to worry about that now" Spencer said sarcastically. Emily was now making her way out of her building and heading towards her car.

"Spencer I'm not happy that this happened to you. I'd rather feel jealous than have you ever be upset" Emily said sincerely.

"I know that Em, I'm sorry I'm just mad" Spencer replied.

"It ok, don't apologise" Emily reassured. "So did he tell you why he didn't come?" she asked as she shut the car door.

"What was that?" Spencer asked having heard a loud bang.

"Nothing" Emily replied quickly. "So why didn't he come?" she asked, trying to change the topic as she put Spencer on loud speaker and put her phone in its cradle on the dashboard.

"Ok so like I said he called and he was ranting about how I was going to hate him" Spencer stopped when she thought she heard a car start. "Are you in the car? she asked.

"No I just opened my window" Emily lied. "Now carry on" she demanded as she pulled away from the curb.

Spencer sighed. "Basically he isn't coming because his knowledge bowl team got into the semi-finals when some other team got disqualified. The semi-finals are tonight" Spencer summarised.

"What a tool. He needs to sort out his priorities" Emily said.

"I think he has his priorities in order Em. I'm just not one of them" Spencer said sadly.

Anger washed over Emily again, partly that someone had made Spencer feel bad and partly that she seemed to care so much.

"Well you should always be the priority Spence" Emily snapped. "People as amazing as you have to be the priority" she said without thinking.

"Em" Spencer said gently, sensing the other girl's anger and wanting to calm her. "I don't want to be his priority" she said, hoping the other girl would understand that she meant she wanted to be Emily's.

Emily sighed, letting go of some of her frustration. "I know Spence. But god I'm so mad at him" she growled.

"Me too. I wish I never agreed to go out with him, I didn't want to in the first place" Spencer said, her own frustration showing now.

"Then why did you?" Emily asked.

"I don't really know. We had just argued and I was mad at you. You were having such an affect on me and I hated it, I was scared. I saw you in that take out place and then Josh came in and he kept me from you" Spencer paused, she wasn't sure where she was going with this. "Everyone seemed to be able to affect me so much, I just wanted to take some control. I wanted to see how me going out with Josh would affect you" Spencer stopped, realising how terrible that sounded. "I deserved to be stood up tonight. I'm a bitch."

"No you didn't spencer. You're human, we all make bad decisions sometimes. It doesn't mean you should be punished." Emily reassured.

"Thanks Em" Spencer said while Emily pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine of her car.

"I can't believe he'd rather be with a bunch of geeks than you" Emily huffed as she removed her phone from its cradle and got out of the car.

"He said he tried to find someone to fill in for him" Spencer said.

"Don't you dare defend him" Emily snapped her raised voice masking the sound of her car door closing.

"I wasn;t, I was just…oh I don't know" Spencer stuttered. "He sounded really sorry"

"Spence" Emily said incredulously, unable to believe Spencer seemed to have an sympathy towards Josh.

"Urgh" Spencer let out an exasperated sigh. "I need to call the restaurant and cancel our reservations. How mortifying" she said sounding embarrassed.

"Wait" Emily shot out, she really needed Spencer to stay on the phone for a few more minutes. "What…erm…" she stuttered trying to think of something to say. "Spence, what _is _a knowledge bowl?" she asked as she entered the building she was heading for.

Spencer chuckled slightly at Emily's question. "It's like a quiz, you have a team of people that answer questions on anything basically. It can be history, maths, science…anything. I guess he's important for the politics and law questions" Spencer explained.

Emily smiled to herself as she stepped into the elevator and pushed the floor number. "Really spencer? You were going to go out with a guy in a knowledge bowl team?" she joked.

"Shut up" Spencer said, pretending to be offended. "He's funny in class and in my defence I didn't know he was on a knowledge bowl team" she said smiling, amazed that Emily had managed to get he out of her funk.

"You need someone exciting and spontaneous Spencer, someone who can make you laugh and who keeps life interesting" Emily said in what Spencer thought was a flirty tone.

"Really? Do you have a certain swimmer in mind?" Spencer asked with a sultry voice.

"hmmmm" Emily hummed pretending to think. "I don't know, I think Holly has a girlfriend. But I can check for you if you'd like?" she asked and Spencer could hear her smile through the phone. She was about to answer back when she heard a knock at the door. She looked around confused, she wasn't expecting anyone, she had no idea who it could be.

"I've gotta go Em, there's someone at the door" she said.

"Oh ok" Emily said sounding disappointed. "Well call me later ok?" she asked.

"Sure, speak to you later" Spencer said as she hung up. She made her way to the door, on the way she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She sighed thinking about how stupid she was going to look answering the door all dressed up. Spencer stepped forward opening the door, as she did she was sure her heart stopped for a millisecond. There stood Emily in skin tight jeans and a cream blouse that showed off just enough cleavage to be torturous. Spencer's mouth went dry.

"Hi" Emily said ginning. "Sorry I was almost late for our date, traffic was a nightmare" she joked with a wink. Spencer didn't say anything, she grabbed Emily by the hand dragging her into the apartment. She pushed the door closed behind the swimmer before slamming her backwards like she had a few nights ago. Spencer kissed her full ion the lips, she couldn't believe how sweet Emily was, she had come all this was over here when she was most likely exhausted from training. Spencer slipped her hands into Emily's still damp hair and grabbed a handful of the locks, pulling the girl further into her. Spencer deepened the kiss, gasping when the intoxicating taste of Emily burst across her tongue, she couldn't believe how much she'd missed this. She felt Emily start to pull away.

"As much as I'd love to carry this on if we don't leave now we'll miss your reservation. Please tell me you haven't cancelled it yet?" Emily asked.

"Nope" Spencer said grinning.

"Good, let's go" Emily said opening the door. "You look beautiful by the way" she added as she tucked a strand of Spencer's hair behind her ear.

* * *

**I'm gonna be really busy over the next week, I have family staying and it's my mums birthday so it might be two weeks before I can update. I'm so sorry. Please, please, please keep reviewing. Let me know if you like where it's going or if you NEED it to go somewhere else haha. Let me know how you feel you amazing people. Thanks for reading.**


	12. Chapter 11

**Sorry it's been so long but your patience is much appreciated. Thank you to everyone who followed and favourited as usual.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Breyanaxo: I agree Emily is very very sweet. I want one of my own.**

**Sofiaocampo: I'm glad you loved it. I hope you like this one as much.**

**CloudGypsy: Things will be moving on from being just platonic don't worry. There's too much sexual tension.**

**Recklesslittleliar: Not quite 2 whole weeks but pretty much. I'm glad you're enjoying it.**

**BiBenji: Thank you for taking the time to read it all. There are definitely not enough Spemily stories out there. Glad you're liking mine.**

**Sooooooo…. Its date time!**

* * *

Chapter 11:

The girls made it to the bistro with minutes to spare and were seated at a small table in the back corner of the restaurant. It was cosy and intimate, Emily breathed a sigh because she could not be more glad that she was the one sat across from Spencer right now. They were quiet while they settled into their surroundings taking in the décor and ambiance of the place. A young male waiter of around their age came over to the table to give them menus and take their drinks order before leaving the two girls alone once again.

Emily looked over at Spencer and smiled a devilish smile, putting on a deep manly voice she joked. "So tell me a little bit about yourself…erh…Carter was it?"

"It's Spencer actually" Spencer said, playing along with the joke, giving Emily her trade mark Spencer Hastings' unimpressed look.

"Oh sorry." Emily replied pulling an awkward face. "You know I'm just juggling so many girls right now it's hard to keep track" she said keeping up the voice and adding a cocky smirk.

Spencer couldn't help her smile "Well I can see why. You are incredibly hot. I feel privileged to get an entire evening with you" she allowed her already raspy voice to drop an octave as she flirted.

Emily had to fight to not squirm in her seat at the tone of Spencer's voice. "So where are you from Stacy?" Emily asked still trying to play it cool and keep up the bravado.

Spencer was enjoying their easy joke, it felt natural, they could still managed to be _them_ even with this new dimension to their relationship. "It's Spencer" she corrected. "I'm actually from Pennsylvania, a little town I'm sure you've never heard of"

Emily cleared her throat so she could maintain the stupid voice she was now regretting having started with. "I heard all the hottest girls were from Pennsylvania, clearly I heard right. It's why I came to school here you know?"

"Oh really? So where are you from originally?" Spencer asked winking at Emily flirtatiously.

Emily's stomach flipped at the sight and she bit her lip, she stalled she had no idea what to say anymore. She couldn't play it cool any longer, not with Spencer sat across from her looking so perfect. She let her voice go back to normal. "I…I don't know. I mean, what the hell am I even doing?" she asked laughing.

Spencer joined in "I have no idea, what was with that voice?" she mocked.

"Who knows" Emily said shrugging and shaking her head. "I hope our drinks come soon though my throat is killing me now" she giggled, coughing for emphasis. As if on cue the waiter came over with their drinks. "Thank you so much" Emily said taking her glass from the boy's hand before he could even put it on the table and taking a huge gulp. All three laughed at her actions.

"So are you two ready to order?" The waiter asked. Spencer saw his eyes scanning Emily's body appreciatively. It bothered her slightly, she was sat right there and still this guy was ogling Emily. Spencer guessed he wouldn't automatically assume they were on a date and she could hardly blame the guy, you had to be blind not to notice that Emily was smoking.

Emily turned to him and his eyes snapped to her face, she smiled at him sweetly in a naturally Emily way. "Can we have five more minutes?" She asked. "We actually haven't even looked at the menu yet" She said with a giggle.

"Sure" the waiter replied with a charming smile before walking away but looking over his shoulder at Emily one last time from across the room.

Spencer chuckled causing Emily to look at her with a confused frown. "What? Do I have something on my face?" she asked while wiping at her cheek with the back of her hand.

This caused Spencer to laugh a little more. "No you're perfect" she reassured causing Emily to blush slightly. "It's just our waiter was checking you out"

"No he wasn't" Emily said shaking her head.

"Yeah he was he couldn't take his eyes off you Em" Spencer said emphatically.

"Are you sure?" The swimmer asked narrowing her eyes sceptically.

Spencer nodded and smirked. "I can't say I blame him, I've been checking you out all night myself."

A smile tugged at the corners of Emily's lips "It's a good job he isn't my type then isn't it?" she said as she reached across the table and began subtly playing with Spencer's fingers.

Spencer looked across at the girl sat before her, she was just so beautiful and Emily didn't even really seem to know it. She was kind and sweet and modest and thoughtful. Spencer was suddenly hit with just how glad she was that she was here with Emily and not Josh. She looked down at where Emily was touching her fingers, trying to make it look casual. Spencer knew the other girl was trying not to push her, making sure she didn't feel uncomfortable with the physical contact in such a public setting. Emily's carefulness and care touched her slightly so she shuffled her hand around until their fingers were intertwined. Emily looked at her with a slightly shocked expression before her mouth pulled up a little in one corner and she looked down nervously. Spencer pulled their hands towards her and leant down to kiss the end of each of Emily's fingers. She might not be ready for the world to know about her feelings but she needed Emily to know that she was not ashamed to be seen here with her, on a date. He stomach flipped a little bit at the thought, she was on a date with Emily Fields.

"Spence" Emily whispered causing the other girl to look at her. "We should really look at the menu now" she said with a smirk, pulling her hand away from Spencer's. She didn't want the other girl to feel like she had to prove something to her, she'd promised to wait until Spencer was ready for this and she mean it. This didn't have to happen in one night.

They were silent as they perused their menus but neither girl could help stealing glances at each other over the top of the pages. A round of giggles erupted when they caught each other looking for the third time. When they had decided what they wanted to eat they put their menus down and the same waiter from earlier came over to the table, he had a grin on his face and Spencer couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at his misplaced eagerness.

"Are you ladies ready now?" he asked only really addressing Emily.

Spencer cleared her throat "Yes we are thank you" she said overly sweetly, earning herself a confused glance from Emily. "I'll have the Minestrone soup to start please"

"Sure" the waiter said as he scribbled on his notepad, before looking at Emily. "And for you?" he asked flashing her a smile.

"Can I get the Caesar salad with dressing on the side please?" Emily asked with genuine kindness.

"Of course you can" The waiter said with a little bit too much enthusiasm. Spencer noticed how his eyes lingered at the opening of Emily's blouse before he looked down at his notepad. When he looked back at Spencer she raised her eyebrows at him letting him know he had been caught. His smile faltered slightly but he recovered quickly, taking the rest of their orders before leaving the table.

Spencer looked over at Emily "Next time we go out you are wearing a turtle neck" she said trying to sound serious but smirking slightly.

"Spencer he was not checking me out. It's all in your head" Emily said pouting and shaking her head.

Please Em, he practically drooled on the table" Spencer said letting herself out right smile at Emily's incredulous look.

"Shut up" Emily said as she picked up a sugar packet from the table and threw it at Spencer's head, laughing as it bounced off.

"Hey! No throwing" Spencer said trying to sound stern but failing miserably as Emily let out a flirty laugh, the sound sent a shock to Spencer's core. "I guess this is something else I'll have to figure out if I'm ok with" she said.

Emily frowned slightly "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Whether I can be with someone who gets hit on everywhere we go" Spencer said mockingly.

"I do not g hit on" Emily said emphasising every word

"Yes you do" Spencer assured "You just don't notice it"

"Whatever" Emily said shaking her head. "Anyway if I wore a turtle neck you wouldn't be able to look down my shirt either. Did you think about that one smart ass?" Emily shot back. Spencer couldn't argue, she couldn't think of anything to say back to that, she hadn't expected Emily to be so forward. Emily chuckled "You wanna pick your jaw up off the table Spence?"

"Shut up" Spencer mimicked and throwing the sugar packet back at Emily causing the other girl to laugh. "So how was practice?" Spencer asked as he tried to move the conversation on now she had lost the upper hand so drastically. She had no idea Emily could be such a challenge.

Emily seemed to deal with the change of topic with good grace and the girls fell into an easy conversation, their time spent laughing, joking and finding any excuse to touch each other's hand or arm. Their appetisers came, the plates were taken away and their main course was placed in front of them, each time the young waiter making as little eye contact with Spencer as he could. He seemed almost scared and Spencer felt bad, she hadn't meant to scare the boy she just thought it was kind of funny that he was being so obvious. People always told her she was intimidating but she didn't believe it until now. When he came back over to check how their meals were going Spencer quickly told them how delicious it was and offered him the most genuine smile she could muster. Hoping he would understand there were no hard feelings about his indiscretion, he nodded at her returning her smile before he walked away.

They finished their food and the waiter came back over to take their plates away. "Can I get you anything for dessert?" He asked.

"Oh Em the Crème Brulee is to die for here. Do you want to split one?" Spencer asked enthusiastically.

"Sounds great" Emily replied.

The waiter smiled at them "One Crème Brulee two spoons coming right up" he said before walking away.

"Are we being too cheesy sharing desert on a first date?" Spencer asked.

"Probably" Emily answered "But I don't really care" she said as she ran her foot up the inside of Spencer's ankle causing the other girl to smile and bite her lip.

"I've never been so happy to have been stood up in my life" Spencer admitted.

"Well I couldn't let all of this effort go to waste now could I?" Emily asked gesturing to Spencer's outfit with her hand. "It would have been a travesty if you'd have stayed in the apartment looking this beautiful"

Spencer looked away as she felt her cheeks flush, she was lost for words. She couldn't believe Emily was calling her beautiful, did she own a mirror? But when she looked back at Emily there was something in the way she looked back at her that made her feel beautiful and wanted and safe. She had been so sure she would never feel like this again after Toby. She was so glad she wasn't here with Josh or anyone else for that matter. She reached over and took Emily's hand again, running her thumb over the other girls knuckles slowly "Thank you for bringing me here tonight Em" she said quietly.

"It was my pleasure Spencer" Emily said with a small smile.

Spencer laughed dissipating some of the intense atmosphere that had settled over them. "If it wasn't cheesy before it is now" she joked.

"Well I think I can fix that" Emily said "Because I have to run to the bathroom before dessert gets here. How romantic" she mocked as she fluttered her eye lashes and got up from the table. She let go of Spencer's hand, offering the girl a grin before she walked away.

Spencer sighed as she watched Emily walk away, sitting back in her chair she thought about how amazing it felt to be here with Emily. Knowing the other girl had feelings for her made Spencer feel so special, Emily could have anyone but she wanted her. Spencer's felt like her luck really was changing. She caught sight of someone heading towards the table and looked up to see the waiter coming over with their crème brulee. His face seemed to drop slightly as he noticed Emily wasn't there, Spencer couldn't help but smile to herself at his reaction. When he got next to the table Emily emerged from the bathroom, the waiter's eyes ran up and down her body now that he could fully enjoy it un-obscured by the table. This time it kind of annoyed Spencer that this kid would be so brazen, he was pushing his luck but she knew she could take him down a peg or two.

"Like what you see?" Spencer asked pulling him out of his daze, he laughed nervously but didn't say anything. He leant forward to place the desert on the table and as he did Spencer bent forward to whisper in his ear. "It's just a shame she'll be coming home with me isn't it?" The waiter seemed to freeze in place before looking over at her questioningly; she nodded slightly letting him know that Emily was hers. As he stood up Spencer saw Emily sitting down looking confused at their exchange.

"Enjoy" The waiter said in a subtly suggestive way allowing Spencer to pick up on the double meaning of the comment.

"We will I'm sure" Spencer said and with that the waiter walked away looking like the cat that got the cream.

"What was that?" Emily asked suspiciously.

"What was what?" Spencer asked back feigning innocence.

"You know what Spencer. You never were good at playing innocent" Emily mocked.

"I was just letting him know he didn't stand a chance that's all. I was getting a little sick of having to wipe drool of the table after every time he comes over here" Spencer said nonchalantly with shrug.

Emily gave her an 'oh really' look. "And how exactly did you do that?"

Spencer looked down a little bit ashamed that she'd let her jealousy get the better of her a little bit. "I just… I made him aware of who you would be going home with" she said sheepishly.

Emily felt a slight shiver run down her spine, possessive Spencer was a bit of a turn on. "And who might that be?" Emily asked trying to supress a smirk.

"Well….uh" Spencer stuttered her ego failing her at just the wrong moment.

Emily's heart fluttered at the sight of Spencer flustered she was starting to realise that she had a bit of a thing for the other girl when her composure slipped, it did something to her. The knowledge that she was the cause of the girl's nervousness got her a little excited. She decided to save Spencer "I hope it's with you" she said.

"Me too" Spencer sighed, relieved that Emily didn't seem too annoyed. "Now come here, you have to try this crème brulee" she said as she scooted her chair further around the table and closer to Emily. The tanned girl did the same until they were sitting so close their knees were touching. Spencer picked up a spoon and scooped up some of the dessert, bringing it up to Emily's mouth.

The swimmer closed her eyes as soon as the sweet substance touched her tongue, letting out a contended "mhmmmmm" as she savoured the taste. "Spencer this is amazing" she said.

Spencer couldn't reply, her mouth had gone dry as she watched Emily enjoy the dessert, how could something so innocent seem so sexual? She reached across the table picking up her drink and taking a sip to try and rehydrate her mouth a little. Trying to sound casual she said "I told you" while wondering how she had never been attracted to Emily before. Damn Paige was lucky she thought, the girl had gotten to see this side of Emily every day for years, this and more. Spencer was desperate to explore the 'more' part.

They finished their dessert and asked for the bill; while they waited Emily turned to Spencer and smiled "I had a really great time tonight"

Spencer returned the smile "Good, I'm sorry your relaxing evening got disturbed" she apologised.

"Don't be, being with you is much more fun" Emily said. Spencer's smile grew wider and without thinking she closed the small gap between Emily and herself, pressing her lips gently to the swimmers. She felt Emily smile against her lips and all other thoughts of where they were or who was looking left her head. She brought her hand up to cup Emily's cheek and was about to heat the kiss up a bit when she heard someone clear their throat. Both girls jumped apart and looked up to see their waiter looking at them sheepishly.

"Sorry. I have your bill" he said slipping the black leather book onto the table and walking away.

Spencer groaned and shut her eyes in embarrassment, causing Emily to panic and curse herself for forgetting where they were and kissing Spencer in public. "Spencer I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I just forgot where we were for a second. I…" she was cut off by Spencer's lips on hers again, but this time it was chaste and brief.

"Firstly I kissed you and secondly I only cringed because if he hadn't have come over I have no idea when I would have stopped" she said laughing lightly.

Emily looked at her opened mouthed for a second before laughing too "I told you, you were like a teenage boy" earning herself an eye roll from Spencer.

Spencer paid the bill after much protest from Emily and they headed home, the drive back to Spencer's apartment was filled with comfortable silences. At the first set of traffic lights Emily grabbed Spencer's hand, their fingers stayed intertwined the entire car ride home. They pulled into a spot in the parking garage and Spencer jumped out of the car, Emily was confused by her haste until she felt her car door being opened. She couldn't help but smile at the sweet gesture as she climbed out of the car and thanked Spencer.

"Emily thank you so much for tonight" Spencer said again.

"You don't need to thank me, I had a great time" Emily responded.

"You could have just talked to me on the phone, told me he was a jerk and had your night to yourself. But instead you went out of your way to make me feel better" Spencer said looking at Emily with a softness that was rare from anyone with Hastings DNA.

"Believe me Spencer it wasn't going out of my way. I love spending time with you. I didn't need much excuse to come and see you" Emily said taking Spencer's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"This was the best date I've ever had" Spencer whispered. "I could get used to this".

"I hope you do" Emily whispered back.

Spencer smiled, she didn't want this date to end. "Do you want to come up for coffee?" she asked.

"I wish I could, but I have an early class tomorrow" Emily said reluctantly.

Spencer couldn't hide her disappointment. "Oh" she muttered looking down.

Emily laughed lightly "Don't sound so disappointed I didn't say I was leaving right now did I?"

"Well what are we going to do in a parking lot?" Spencer asked confused.

"This" is all Emily said as she stepped closer to Spencer slowly, she reached a hand up to brush some of her hair gently away from her face. She allowed her hand to rest on the side of the other Spencer's neck and began to lean in, Spencer eagerly met her half way. The second their lips touched both girls knew this kiss was different from any other kiss they had shared before. The entire evening had been leading up to this kiss, this had been in the back of their minds since Emily knocked on Spencer's door earlier on this evening.

Emily began moving her lips slowly but forcefully against Spencer's, pulling the other girl into her every time her lips closed together. Spencer felt herself go lightheaded at being kissed with such urgency by sweet and innocent Emily Fields. She had to reach out and grab on to Emily just to orientate herself, she grabbed on tightly to the swimmers raven hair and with the other she bunched up Emily's blouse in her fist. Neither girl had ever been kissed like this before; it was almost painful, the thought that this bliss couldn't last forever that they may never be able to capture a moment like this again. But it is the sweetest pain in the world. Emily ran her tongue along Spencer's bottom lip and she had to squeeze her eyes closed tighter to supress the shiver it induced, but she couldn't stop the almost animalistic groan that rolled from her throat as their tongues clashed together. For the first time it wasn't a battle but a dance, they were sharing this moment together. Spencer felt her senses collapse under Emily's touch, with Emily her idiosyncrasies don't matter, her ego doesn't matter, her sexuality doesn't matter, the swimmer takes it all away. With Emily she can be everything and nothing, just her in her rawest form. Their tongues roll together and Spencer moans while Emily lets out something more like a desperate whimper. Emily spins them around and pushes Spencer against her car door and it's the first time that Spencer is aware there is anything in the world apart from Emily's body which is now firmly pushed up against her own. Their tongues stop meeting but the kiss carries on as Spencer feels Emily gasping into her mouth, she fees almost superhuman. She feels like she must have been picked by the Gods to deserve being kissed like this by Emily. That if she never achieved anything else in her life this moment would be enough for her to die happy. The kiss slowed down and she felt Emily begin to pull way but she caught the tanned girls cheeks at the last minute. She pulled their lips back together for a lingering yet chaste kiss; she needed the minute to piece herself back together because Emily's kiss had blown her apart.

* * *

**I tried something a little bit different with the kiss. Don't know how I feel about it yet but it's going up. As ever please review, give me your praise, criticism, ideas where you want this to go. Anything. They all keep me on my toes. Thanks everyone for reading whether you review or not, I hope you're all still enjoying it :) **


	13. Chapter 12

**I love everybody that continues to read this story and welcome to all you new readers and followers. **

**CloudGypsy: I can't tell you how much I love reading your reviews every week. They make me so happy! I'm so glad that you're enjoying it so much and I'm so honoured my story is one of your favourites. This story will definitely be more than the 10 I expected it to be when I started, it's gotten away from me in a really good way. And I may have started writing a sequel yesterday.**

**PailyD: I think Spencer needs to be cautious at first because this is all new to her, but she's a really strong person. I don't think she's the type to live for other people, she'll always do what she wants.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: I felt so bad doing that to Spencer but I think Emily's sweetness made it all ok. I'm glad you enjoyed the date I was worried it hadn't come out right.**

**RSSJ: Yes, yes yes! You are in my mind. You are voicing my exact thoughts!**

**TacoMonster99: Yay….that is all haha.**

**Simplyathinker: Don't even get me started on how much I want this to actually happen on the show!**

**Recklesslittleliar: Thanks. I am updating….right now haha.**

**So this is the first chapter with all four girls! Yay! I'm not great with Aria so I hope she came out alright, I tried my hardest. And I hope what happens in this chapter doesn't feel too soon, it just all kinda happened without my permission.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars. If I did Spencer and Emily would be together forever and always.**

**Enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 12:

After the date the girl's lives had gotten pretty hectic, finals were coming up and their reading week had begun. Both girls had papers, projects and exams that they had to prepare for which of course meant very little Spemily time. They had met up once or twice in the library but Spencer had been so stressed out it had left little room for talking, other than Emily running through the other girls flash cards with her of course. Spencer's last exam was December 18 and she'd headed home that evening for a family dinner at her parents' club, Emily had a paper due on the morning of the 20th so she made her way back to Rosewood early that afternoon. It was no surprise then that, that evening all four liars found themselves together chatting animatedly about their lives at college. It was the first time they had all been together since September. Spencer and Emily had decided not to tell the girls about what was going on between them until they were one hundred per cent sure what was going on themselves, plus Spencer was worried about their reaction. She didn't think the girls would take it too well and she was concerned that they would be freaked out. She knew she would be if Aria and Hanna told her they'd been making out on a regular basis.

They had gathered in the Hastings barn, as was tradition and had taken up their regular places. Aria was sat cross-legged on the floor by the fireplace with a cushion hugged to her body, Hanna had flung herself into the large arm chair, sitting with her back against one arm rest and her legs over the other, leaving Spencer and Emily to the two seater couch where they sat awkwardly as far away from each other as physically possible. They were nervous of being figured out by their best friends but more importantly worried what the effect of a simple touch, after no contact for a week, would be on their hormones. Hanna was in the middle of a funny anecdote about a night she had spent at a club in New York.

"We were dancing, it was just me and Caleb, so it was obvious we were together but the next thing I know I can feel this guy grinding up on my back. I tried to move away but he followed me and just carried on rubbing himself on me the perv. I turned around and asked him what the hell her was doing and the guy just says 'dancing' like it was the most obvious thing in the world." She paused to look at each of the girls incredulously as they laugh. "I turn back around to find Caleb and he's gone, so I'm like scanning the place and I spot him at the bar and he's laughing. He's like hysterically laughing at this random guy grinding on his girlfriend. While I was distracted this guy comes back over and grabs me from behind and pulls me into him and whispers in my ear 'now the geeks gone you can see what it's like to be with a real man'. I swear he almost got a stiletto to the balls but I stayed calm and I turned around and I pulled out my best flirty smile, I made sure to flutter my eyelashes a bit too. And I've got this guy, he's so sure he's in. I lean into him and let my lips brush his ear and I whispered in my sexiest voice 'sorry I don't date outside my species' and then I walked away" Hanna finished triumphantly as she scanned the room again.

All of the girls burst into hysterics at the blonde's story. "Hanna you didn't?" Emily exclaimed through her laughter.

"Yep I did" Hanna said with a proud smile. "I rail-roaded Caleb too, he said he left because he knew I could handle myself or some crap. Can you believe that?" she added shaking her head.

"Clearly he was right" Aria said once she was calm enough to form words.

Once the laughter had died away Hanna rounded on the other girls. "So Spencer, how's your love life been since starting college? Any sexy future lawyers catching you eye?" She asked subtly eyeing Emily for her reaction. Hanna hadn't had a chance to ask the swimmer about her feelings for Spencer since her trip to New York; she was hoping to use this conversation to gauge the other girl's feelings. She was sure she'd caught Emily gazing at Spencer once or twice tonight and she was sure the other girl wasn't her.

Spencer stiffened at the question; she sensed something in Hanna's voice. This wasn't as innocent as it sounded. Hanna was getting at something but right now Spencer couldn't figure out what that was. Could she know something was going on? Spencer asked herself. No they' been careful and Emily wouldn't have said anything right? She composed herself before answering. "No not really" she said shortly.

"I thought you told me you had a date when I called not long ago?" Aria asked.

Spencer panicked and she saw Emily shift uncomfortably next to her, this was getting a little bit close to the bone. She didn't really know how to get out of this one. "Oh yeah I did but it didn't really work out" she answered trying to be vague.

"You had a date? With who? Why didn't I know about this?" Hannah asked excitedly.

Spencer sighed she should have known she wasn't going to get away with this one so easily. "A guy called Josh who's in a couple of my classes. But we didn't exactly go on a date, he uh…. He stood me up" she admitted embarrassed.

"What?" Hanna and Aria shouted at the same time.

"He stood you up? What an idiot" Hanna exclaimed.

Emily chuckled "That's exactly what I said"

"It's ok guys really." Spencer said trying to change the topic quickly. "I'm kinda glad it happened anyway" she said with a slight smirk as she looked over at Emily, thinking about the amazing evening they'd shared. When she looked away from the swimmer she caught Hanna and Aria's questioning looks, they were obviously confused about how being stood up could ever be a good thing. "Well I mean, I didn't waste any time on him" she explained.

"Good Point" Aria agreed. "You deserve better than someone who is going to treat you like that"

Hanna stayed silent, she was pretty sure she'd caught a look between Spencer and Emily, there was obviously more to the story. Emily seemed to have a goofy smile on her face and Spencer looked like the cat that got the cream. What was going on? Had something happened between them? Hanna asked herself. She decided to push her luck and try to find out. "Em how about you? I'm sure there must be someone on the swim team that wants you right" she asked.

Spencer snorted lightly thinking about Becky and how she shamelessly flirted with Emily at any opportunity she got. "No there isn't anyone" Emily answered shaking her head.

"Spencer seems to think otherwise" Aria pointed out having noticed the other girl's reaction to Hanna's question.

Emily glared at Spencer clearly confused by her reaction; the paler girl took a second to think about her options. She could either deny all knowledge of having reacted out of the ordinary or she could mention Becky and throw the girls firmly off her trail. She swallowed and tried to sound light hearted when she said "Come on Em, we both know Becky has it bad for you"

"Ooooo who's Becky?" Hanna asked completely forgetting about her little sleuth act.

"Just a girl on my swim team" Emily said as she glared at Spencer in disbelief. She couldn't believe the other girl would bring Becky up; they'd already talked about this. "And she doesn't have a thing for me; she's just a friendly person"

"Is she hot?" Hanna pried.

"Yes" Spencer answered quickly, pretending that the topic of Becky wasn't making her insanely jealous even if she had brought it up.

"So do you like her?" Hanna asked Emily.

"No" Emily said flatly looking down at her shoes.

"Why not?" Hanna sounded disappointed, she expected juicy gossip.

"She's not my type" Emily said looking over at Spencer as she spoke, letting her know she had hurt her feelings.

"A hot, toned swimmer isn't your type?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah it sounds just like your MO" Aria joined in.

"Well she's not" Emily snapped. "I don't want Becky"

Hanna refused to back down. "Well what is your type now Em? I mean if you don't want a hot swimmer anymore what do you want? A tall skinny geek maybe?" she asked purposely describing Spencer and raising her eyebrows as she looked at Emily.

Spencer's eyes bulged when she heard Hanna say that, she was pretty sure now that Hannah knew something. She was starting to regret starting up this joke and felt guilty for using Emily's personal business to take the heat off herself. "Ok guys, leave her alone now. I was only kidding around. There's nothing going on with Emily and Becky" she tried.

"Hey you started this" Hanna reminded her.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Yeah and now I'm finishing it. So drop it" Spencer said firmly.

"You ruin all my fun" Hannah muttered with a pout.

The girls were quiet for a moment, the happy atmosphere from earlier now marred by Emily's seemingly unexplainable bad mood. "I'm going to get a drink" Emily said as she got up and headed into the kitchen.

"What's got into her?" Hanna asked.

"I think Becky was a bit of a sore topic Spence. She clearly isn't over Paige enough to kid around like that" Aria said softly.

"Yeah you're right" Spencer said as she got up off the couch too. "I better go fix this" she added. Aria nodded encouragingly and offered her a small smile.

* * *

Spencer slowly made her way into the kitchen where Emily stood with her back to the door, leaning on the countertop with her head in her hands massaging her temples. Spencer automatically felt a thousand times guiltier; she hadn't expected her joke to affect Emily so much. She cleared her throat so the swimmer knew she was there, Emily didn't look over just rubbed harder at her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. Spencer made her way over the to the other girl and placed her hand on Emily's back rubbing soothing circles and breathing a sigh of relief when her touch wasn't rejected.

Emily let out a deep sigh "I don't know why I reacted like that" she admitted.

"It was my fault Em, I shouldn't have pushed the Becky thing. I don't know why I did. I'm like one step away from having to have all of my speech censored I swear" she responded.

Emily stood up and turned to lean her back against the counter. "I should have just laughed it off, but…." She trailed off.

"But what?" Spencer asked looking into Emily's eyes encouragingly.

"It's harder than I expected being back in Rosewood that's all. We have our own world in college; we can behave however we like in your apartment. We can go out together and no one looks twice, we can kiss in restaurants and no one bats an eyelid. But here we have to be careful" Emily looked at Spencer to see if she really understood.

We don't have to be that careful Em, there will be times we can act that way with each other." Spencer reassured.

"Oh yeah and in the meantime you'll sit as far away from me as possible and embarrass me by bringing up other girls" Emily spat.

"I'm sorry" Spencer croaked. "I didn't mean to… I didn't realise" she blundered.

"Oh god I'm so sorry" Emily said as she covered her face with her hands. "I told you to take your time and that you didn't need to be out and here I am being an ass. I just thought you wouldn't be this careful around the girls. You know they won't judge you right?" she asked.

"It isn't about being judged Em, it's about how they'll feel about it. I'm still kissing you, I'm still letting you stay in my bed but I can't commit to you. If this was someone else treating you like this I'd kill them." Spencer said softly, finally really voicing her real concern.

"Spencer you don't force me into anything" Emily laughed lightly. "I'm not a child, I kiss you and stay in your bed because I want to. I _really_ want to" She emphasised.

"You _really_ want to huh?" Spencer asked with a smirk.

"Yeah but we can't and that feels crappy and then I feel crappy and I know exactly what will make me feel better but I can't have it and it's not fair" Emily ranted pouting slightly.

Spencer pulled Emily into her arms; the paler girl tucked the swimmers head under her chin holding her against her chest. She let one hand cradle the back of Emily's head while the other snuck around her waist keeping them pinned together. Emily sighed deeply and contentedly. "I think I know what makes you feel better" Spencer chuckled smugly.

Emily pulled back from Spencer's chest to look at the other girl. "You are such a smart ass" she said trying not to smile.

"Yeah but thats why you like me" Spencer said in a mock innocent voice as she tucked a lock of hair behind Emily's ear.

"I don't know who told you that. Because whoever it was is a huge liar" Emily whispered flicking her eyes down to Spencer's lips, fighting the urge to kiss the girl stood in front of her.

"Oh really?" Spencer whispered back. "Because I have it under pretty good authority that you do" she continued seductively as she moved her hand to rest on the side of Emily's neck. She began to lean in; their lips were a breath apart when they heard a voice from the other side of the room and jumped apart.

"I came to check if you two and friends again and that…oh my god you're kissing" Hanna exclaimed excitedly.

"Shhhh" Emily begged at Hanna's booming voice.

Spencer just looked at the blonde, she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came to mind.

"Emily you sly dog" Hanna said as Emily looked at the ground blushing profusely. "I'm sorry I interrupted" she finished with a smug smile before turning and walking out of the room again.

Spencer turned to Emily with a panicked look on her face. "She knows" she stated.

"Yeah it looks that way" Emily responded guiltily.

"Emily?" Spencer asked suspiciously as she lifted Emily's chin so they were making eye contact again. "What does she know?"

"Well when I went to New York I admitted to her that I thought I had feelings for you. I was confused and I needed some advice. We haven't spoken about it since but I guess she must have put two and two together" Emily explained.

"Really? Hannah putting two and two together and not coming up with six hundred?" Spencer asked sceptically.

Emily chuckled lightly "I don't think it was too difficult for her to figure out when you practically had me pinned against the counter" she said with a smirk and an eyebrow raise. Emily went to walk away and head out of the room but she felt two hands on her waist pulling her backwards and spinning her around so she was face to face with Spencer again.

"I think we were in the middle of something" Spencer whispered.

"We can't" Emily breathed but her eyes stayed glued to the other girls lips.

A small smile appeared on Spencer's face, she knew even if Emily tried to pretend to protest she would get her kiss. She had Emily exactly where she wanted her. "Yeah because it would be so terrible if we got caught" she said sarcastically as she leant forward slowly to gently capture Emily's lips, they began moving together in sync. Spencer's left hand found its way to the back of Emily's neck while the other crept under the hem of her shirt at her hip. After not having kissed in almost two weeks Spencer needed to feel as much of Emily as she could, her soft lips, her silky hair, her smooth skin. Obviously Emily had the same need because Spencer felt the tanned girl sweep her tongue along her bottom lip. Spencer opened her mouth willingly and their tongues met for the first time in so long. Emily moaned at the feeling.

Their kiss was cut short abruptly when someone cleared their throat from the door. Both girls looked towards the door horrified to find, thankfully, Hanna stood in the doorway with the biggest grin on her face.

"Well she definitely knows now" Spencer muttered so only Emily could hear.

"I told you we shouldn't" Emily said sounding scared.

Spencer smiled at her softly, Hanna finding them like this wasn't ideal but it wasn't the end of the world either. She took the swimmers hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before turning her attention back to Hanna. "Don't you ever knock?" She joked pretending to sound annoyed. Her reaction nipped the possibility of any tension in the bud.

Hanna snorted "Not when I'm coming into a kitchen I don't"

"What are you doing in here again anyway?" Spencer asked.

"I came looking for hard liquor. I thought this night needed some spicing up but clearly you two have that covered" Hanna said raising an eyebrow.

"Hanna…" Emily began about to try and explain what was going on.

"It's fine Em. Tell me when you guys are ready" Hanna said with a genuine smile. "But until then no more getting hot and heavy in the kitchen" her comment received wide eyed looks from both girls. "Seriously, people eat in here"

Emily blushed furiously and Spencer shook her head. "Yeah I do so I'll do whatever I like in here" Spencer shot back playfully earning herself a laugh from Hanna and a smack on the arm from a still blushing Emily.

Hanna grabbed a bottle of vodka and tequila from the cupboard. "Spencer bring shot glasses. I have a game for us to play" she said in a sing song voice.

Emily groaned. "I do not see this ending well" she warned.

Spencer chuckled and grabbed four shot glasses. "Come on Em it could be fun" she said feeling almost jovial now that their secret was out to Hanna and she seemed to have taken it well. One down, one to go.

Both girls moved to follow Hanna out of the room but the blonde stopped at the door and turned to face them. "You have to tell Aria about this soon guys. We don't keep secrets anymore" Hannah said softly but seriously. Both brunettes nodded their understanding before the trio made their way back to the lounge.

* * *

"Ok so it's a twist on Never Have I Ever" Hanna addressed the room. "I have an app on my phone that generates a statement. Each of us takes a turn, you read the statement to the room, you take a shot if you've done it and you have to tell the story. If you haven't done it you pass the phone on. Got it?" she asked.

All three girls nodded nervously. "Are any of these dirty?" Aria asked knowing the answer before it was answered, this was Hanna after all.

"Some are, some are like personal and others are just stupid" Hanna answered. "It's just the luck of the draw if you get a dirty one or not"

"Ok" Aria sighed.

Hanna filled two shot glasses with vodka and two with tequila. "Ready?" she asked and was met with another round of nods. "Great. I'll go first" Hanna pressed the button that would generate the statement. "Never have I ever skipped school" Hanna read aloud before laughing and reaching for a shot glass. She downed the vodka and shuddered as the liquid slid down her throat. Well I skipped school to go to the mall with Mona tons of times. I skipped to spend the day with Caleb. I skipped when we were following –A clues. I did it more times than I can count" she said passing the phone to Aria.

The smaller girl tentatively pressed the button on the screen "Never have I ever stolen a bicycle" she read and the whole room burst out laughing. "What the hell?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.

"I told you some were stupid" Hanna said in between laughs. "So have you?" she asked.

"No!" Aria shouted passing the phone to Emily.

Emily took a deep breath "Never have I ever seen someone naked via webcam" her cheeks flushed bright red as she finished reading. She reached forward and picked up a shot glass, downing the tequila. "Paige was in California, it had been a while" she said with a shrug.

"That's not a story Em" Hanna reprimanded. "You have to give details"

Emily looked over at Spencer briefly, the girl offering a small shrug and a nod. Emily sighed before starting her story. "Paige and I had a Skype date and I'd had a bad day with one thing or another. I was struggling at the same time with not being able to be near her and erm…." Emily paused thinking how to phrase the next part. "and…have her _that _way. She wanted to make me feel better and she asked if there was anything she could do and that's what I came up with"

"Wait. You suggested it?" Aria asked sounding shocked.

"Yeah" Emily answered with a shrug.

"Who knew Em was such a perv" Hanna mocked.

"Hey! It was not perving, she was my girlfriend" Emily defended. "Anyway I'm not sorry it definitely got me out of my bad mood"

All of the girls laughed again, even Spencer. Although she found the conversation less hilarious and more incredibly sexy, she desperately wanted to see the assertive side of Emily for herself someday soon. She took the phone that Emily offered her. "Never have I ever watched a porno movie" she read and groaned. She reached for a shot and downed the vodka. "When I was about fourteen my cousins came to stay and one of them opened up porn site on my computer and then minimised the page. So I innocently went back to my computer and opened up the tab and this porno starts playing really loudly through my speakers. I panicked and closed it down but I thought about it all day, I didn't really know exactly what sex was at that age, well I did but I'd never seen the mechanics of it and I was curious. So that night I went into my internet history and found the site again and watched a few movies….on mute this time"

Hanna almost fell off her chair she started laughing so hard. "Only Spencer Hastings would watch porn for educational purposes" she mocked.

Spencer just shrugged and passed Hanna the phone again. "Never have I ever taken nude photos of myself" Hanna read. She reached forward for a shot of tequila and downed it. "Caleb was at a friend's apartment playing video games or something equally loserish and I wanted him to come home. So I snapped a few naked selfies and sent them to him. He was home in ten minutes" she giggled. "That's like miraculous in New York City. That place is busy"

Aria caught the phone that Hanna tossed at her. "Never have I ever had sex at school" Aria read. "Does Hollis count as school?" she asked.

"Yes" Spencer and Hanna said together with huge grins.

"Well in that case" Aria said leaning over to collect a shot and gulping it down. "One day I, quite innocently I might add, took Ezra some coffee at his office. We kissed, kissing led to making out and making out led to something much less innocent going down on his couch"

"I'm surprised you two didn't do it in Rosewood High" Spencer said.

"The lock on Ezra's classroom door was a little temperamental" Aria informed them matter of factly causing yet another round of laughter.

It was Emily's turn again "Never have I ever faked an orgasm" Emily read. She looked between the three girls eager faces before shaking her head.

"What, never?" Hanna asked.

"Not that I can ever remember" Emily answered.

"Not even when Paige wanted to and you weren't really in the mood but you just did it to stop her nagging?" Aria asked.

"Paige didn't really nag" Emily said thoughtfully. "If I didn't feel like it she just waited and I did the same for her."

"Paige did kind of worship her. I can imagine whatever Em said went in that relationship" Spencer said to the room.

"You're right Spence. Emily was totally in charge" Hanna added.

Emily looked at Spencer with narrowed eyes. "Just shut up and take your turn" she said passing the paler girl the phone.

Spencer pressed the button on the screen. "Never have I ever kissed…" she stopped dead in the middle of the sentence as panic crept through her.

"What does it say?" Aria asked.

Hanna snatched the phone out of Spencer's hand. "Never have I ever kissed one of my friends" the blonde read out. "Oh this could not have gone better" she said biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

Emily dropped her head into her hands, covering her now flushed cheeks while Spencer pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut cursing her luck. Of all the questions she could have gotten it had to be his one.

"What's going on?" Aria asked as she watched the unexpected reactions of her friends.

Spencer looked over at the short brunette slowly. "I didn't want you to find out this way…" Spencer began but was cut off.

"It's better than how I found out" Hanna butted in.

"Hanna" Emily and Spencer shouted together.

"Like I was saying" Spencer began again eyeballing Hanna as she did. "I wanted this to come out a little differently but anyway. I've been… Emily and… I…I have feelings for Emily" she blunderingly admitted.

Aria glanced over at Emily with a panicked look waiting for the other girl to react somehow to Spencer's confession. Emily caught Aria's questioning look. "I already know Aria" Emily reassured. "She told me a few weeks ago".

Aria looked over at Hanna to see how the blonde was taking this new piece of information. "I caught them kissing in the kitchen earlier" Hanna said excitedly, it was obvious she had been bursting to tell Aria all night. "Twice" she squeaked. "So Spencer you can take a shot."

Spencer rolled her eyes but reached for the tiny glass drinking the tequila down.

"What? Wait!" Aria finally spoke, looking wide eyed at Spencer and Emily. "You guys were kissing?" she asked. Emily blushed again and nodded. "So you like her too?" Aria directed her question at Emily.

"Yeah I do" Emily answered softly looking at Spencer as she spoke.

"Are you guys like a thing now then?" Aria asked.

Spencer swallowed and sighed before answering. "No not yet" she answered, unsure of what else to say right now. Everything was so confused in her head, she didn't really know how to explain what was going on with them.

"We're taking our time" Emily said sensing Spencer's uncertainty. "There are a lot of things to figure out"

"What is there to figure out?" Hanna asked incredulously. "You guys are best friends so you know everything about each other. You are both hot and you both like each other."

"It's not that simple" Emily tried.

"Why not?" Hanna asked.

"Because I'm not ready to be out" Spencer said sadly. "Emily deserves to be with someone who will walk down the street holding her hand for the world to see because she's too beautiful to hide away. She deserves to be with someone who will shout from the roof tops that they have the most amazing person in their life. She deserves to be with someone who can protect her from all the horrible things that people might say. Until I can do all of those things I'm not good enough for her." she said desperately, looking at the floor the whole time she spoke.

The corners of Emily's lips turned up into a smile and she reached out to gently cup Spencer's cheek forcing her to look at her. "Spence" she whispered as she ran her thumb over the paler girl's soft skin.

Spencer placed her hand over Emily's that was still on her own cheek. "I'm not good enough for you yet Emily" Spencer said with a crack in her voice.

"Oh god I'm going to cry" Hanna spoke up effectively ruining the tender moment. "Spencer you are so sweet"

All of the girls started laughing at Hanna's terrible timing. Aria looked over at Spencer and Emily and saw their contented smiles as they took in one another. "Guys whatever you decide I'm behind you one hundred per cent." She said earnestly.

"I second that" Hanna said. "And you know I'll kick the ass of anyone who says anything to you Spencer"

"Thanks Han" Spencer chuckled.

"You guys are the best you know that right?" Emily said emotionally.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah we know" Hanna waved her off. "Now it's my turn" she said picking up her phone from the arm of the chair in order to carry on with their game from earlier. "Oh and by the way you guys are so not sharing a bed tonight."

* * *

**Please keep your reviews coming they really do keep me motivated. I do love this story but you're encouragement really helps. I can maybe get to 100 reviews this chapter if you guys are really nice! Thank you so much for reading I hope you have a good week!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Ok the usual thanks to everyone. You are all amazing.**

**This chapter again I am not happy with, it's a bit everywhere and if I'm honest I think it's a bit shit but it's going up. I can make it up to you all next time.**

**Cowtrippedonthemoon: Thanks I'm always happy when you review.**

**Simplyathinker: Still glad you liked Aria.**

**Spemily: Urgh! I am dying to write hot Spemily scenes. Its killing me!**

**RSSJ: I hope I do as well with her in this chapter.**

**CloudGypsy: I don't recommend washing your face because you might drown.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: She had to walk in on their kisses. It was such a Hanna thing to do. Thank you it's from years of practising on my pillow haha. I'm totally kidding.**

**Fender18: Well you are like the queen of Spemily fanfiction so I can't believe you actually read my story. It is much appreciated. I can't wait for them to be official either, they need to be soon. I'm so glad you like the story and yeah they definitely are soul mates.**

**So we all know I don't own it, it hasn't changed.**

**Enjoy and please keep reviewing.**

* * *

Chapter 13:

The next day Hanna had managed to convince Emily to go to the mall with her. Spencer was pretty sure it was so she could get information out of her about their relationship, but she didn't mind. She was kind of relieved that the girls knew and had taken it so well, she felt a little bit stupid for having thought they would do anything but take it in stride. They had all been through so much together it would take more than this to cause tension.

Aria was still with Spencer, it had been so long since they had spent any time together they had decided to do something together this afternoon. The two girls had just finished getting ready and Spencer, to her horror, had discovered there was no coffee at all in the barn. So the girls were making their way over to the main house to hunt some out. As they entered the kitchen they saw Veronica Hastings sat at the island reading through some notes, she looked up with a smile when she heard the girls enter. "Morning girls, where are the other two?" She enquired.

"Morning Mrs Hastings" Aria greeted.

"Hey Mom. Hanna forced Em to go to the mall with her" Spencer explained.

"Typical" Veronica said light heartedly with a shake of her head. "So what do you two have planned for today?"

"We were thinking we might go to The Grille for lunch" Aria answered.

"That sounds lovely girls. It's been a while since you've seen each other, it'll be good to catch up" Veronica smiled. "Oh and Spencer there's some mail on the counter for you" she addressed her daughter who was busy dealing with the coffee maker. "Its post marked Washington DC. Maybe it's about the internship you applied for"

Spencer stiffened, she'd forgotten entirely about the internship. She walked over to the envelope on the counter top, it felt heavy. She didn't know if she was excited about or dreading opening the letter, Spencer had so wanted to go to DC wen she'd applied. It was an amazing opportunity and along with UPenn would make her a shoe in for jobs in the future. But now the thought of being in Washington DC for months didn't seem so appealing anymore.

Aria walked over to where Spencer stood holding the envelope in her hands, just staring down at it. She placed her hand on Spencer's arm comfortingly. "Are you ok Spence?" she asked gently.

Spencer spoke without looking away from the letter. "Yeah. I just forgot about this that's all" she said flatly.

The timer beeped on the coffee machine, Spencer distractedly walked over and poured three mugs of the liquid. She placed one in front of her mother who silently thanked her with a smile and passed one to Aria. The small brunette took in Spencer's dazed expression. "Come on, let's take these into the other room" Aria said. "Bye Mrs Hastings" she threw over her shoulder as she towed Spencer out of the room.

Spencer blindly followed her small friend and allowed herself to be pulled down onto the couch. "Ok so I've purposely not asked you anything about Emily while Hanna was here, but now I think it's time that you spill" Aria said as blew on her steaming coffee.

Spencer set her mug down on the coffee table but kept the still unopened envelop clutched in her left hand. "What do you want to know?" she asked. "I can't promise I will be able to answer many of your questions though"

Aria smiled gently at Spencer. "I'll start out simply then. How long have you known?" she asked her nervous looking friend.

Spencer sighed, "Emily and I stated spending more time together when she and Paige broke up. She was a mess and she needed a friend and that's what I was. But the more time I spent with her the more time I wanted to spend with her, I didn't think much of it at the time. It wasn't until she went to New York; I missed everything about her Aria. I missed her laugh and her smile, I missed her light. That was the first time that I realised that I saw her differently. But I also kinda realised that I don't see her differently at all. I've always seen her as this beautiful, strong young woman, I've always wanted to take her into my arms and protect her from the world and I've always been reluctant to believe that anyone she likes is good enough or worthy of her. When she was gone I missed her warmth and the comfort I hadn't realised she has always offered me. I guess that weekend I just defined what I think has always been there" Spencer finished explaining before looking up at Aria who was examining her over the rim of her coffee mug.

"So you've always liked her?" Aria asked after a few seconds.

"Yes and No" Spencer answered, pausing to think about how to word her explanation. "It's not like I feel like I've been fighting this for years. I've never noticed it before now. But this doesn't feel like a huge revelation to me. It feels like everything has been leading up to this, whether we knew it or not. Does that make sense?" Spencer asked frustrated.

"Yeah I think it does Aria answered softly. "This might seem like a stupid question but do you want to be with Emily? Like do you want to commit to her? Because you know this can't just be a fling. Emily has been through so much and had her heart broken so many times."

Spence smiled ruefully. "I want to be with her very much" she stated firmly. "I can't describe how it feels to be around her. How amazing it is to have someone that I can be completely myself around, that I know inside-out, but I'm figuring out this whole new side of her that I didn't even contemplate existed. I don't question whether I want her Aria, I never have. I question…" Spencer paused wondering whether to voice her real issue. "I question if I can deal with people seeing me as 'not straight' before they see _me_" she admitted.

"Spencer the people that matter will always see _you _first. The fact that you're with Emily or any other girl or guy or whoever will just be a fact _about _you. It won't define you" Aria reassured as she set her mug down on the table and leant towards Spencer. "You've just spent ten minutes talking to me about Emily, you've described her as a lot of things but not once have you referred to her as gay. Because it doesn't matter right?" Aria paused and Spencer shook her head no. "You like her because she's Emily, not gay. And we love you no matter what. No matter how you choose to define yourself or not define yourself"

Spencer swallowed hard and tried not to cry at Aria's words, she loved her friend so much for not pressuring her to label herself or asking the question that Spencer dreaded 'Are you gay?' She didn't know the answer to that, was she gay? She was kissing a girl and thinking about doing more with a girl, wanting to do more with a girl. She looked up at aria with watery eyes. "Are you really ok with this Aria?" she asked quietly.

Aria sighed and waited a beat before answering. "Honestly Spence, it does worry me a little. I'm worried about the effect this could have on us all if you try this and it doesn't work out. I don't want us to lose contact again. But we've been pulled apart and found our way back before, I'm pretty confident that there's nothing we can't survive." Aria paused and took hold of Spencer's hand making the taller girl look her in the eyes. I want you to be happy and I want Emily to be happy. God knows you both deserve it. If you can help each other out with that then I'm all for it"

Spencer squeezed Aria's fingers. "I really lucked out getting you as a best friend Aria"

Aria smiled brightly. "I know you Spence, I can see how carefully you're thinking about this. I also know you wouldn't hurt Emily for the world. So I'll respect your decision whatever it is. I'm always here for you" She said earnestly.

"I'm always here for _you" _Spencer returned in an emotional voice.

Aria looked at the envelope Spencer was still fiddling with in her other hand. "I'm guessing Emily is one of the reasons you're not so sure about this internship anymore." She stated.

Spencer nodded her head solemnly. "Emily is the only reason I'm not sure" she confirmed. "Everything is so up in the air right now. It doesn't feel right to admit my feelings, have her put her life on hold while I figure my shit out and then just leave"

"Emily won't see it like that" Aria reassured.

"Maybe I don't want to be away from _her _for that long" Spencer admitted quietly.

"It might be good for you. It might give you space to think things through properly" The brunette suggested.

"I don't know. What if she forgets about me?" Spencer almost whispered.

"Well that is the stupidest thing you've ever said" Aria said sternly. "How could she forget about you?"

"What if she finds someone else?" Spencer asked looking at Aria desperately.

"Open the letter" is all Aria replied.

With shaking hands Spencer ripped open the envelope, she took a deep breath before she slid out the sheets of paper. Her eyes scanned the words, she wasn't quite able to take them in. Spencer quickly pushed the papers into Aria's hands and looked at her with lost eyes.

Aria read the letter aloud. "Dear Miss Hastings. I am delighted to offer you an internship with the 'Legal Studies Institute' of Washington DC. You have been placed at the 'Law Offices of Michael F. Black', please find enclosed the information and business address of this firm. We will work in conjunction with the University of Pennsylvania to ensure that you have all the credits you need to progress with your course. Your internship will begin March 17 and will terminate May 23, please ensure you are in Washington DC at least two days before your start date for orientation and to familiarise yourself with the area. Also enclosed is all the information about your accommodation while staying in Washington DC. Please confirm that you have received this letter and that all the information is correct. If your circumstances have changed and you no longer wish to take part in the internship programme please let us know as soon as possible. We expect to hear from you within ten working days. Congratulations Miss Hastings."

* * *

Emily and Hanna had been at the mall for well over an hour but had only been into two stores. For Emily it was more like being Hanna's pack mule than shopping, the blonde was in the process of piling yet more clothes into Emily's already full arms.

"Can we get lunch after this Han? I'm starving" Emily whined.

"One more store and then food" Hanna called over her shoulder causing Emily to groan. Hanna turned around "I want to go to Victoria's Secret and I can't try on sexy underwear if I'm bloated from lunch" she stated as she scanned the shop and spotted the fitting rooms. "Besides you could get something for Spencer to enjoy, a little early Christmas present" Hanna added with a wink.

Emily looked away as her cheeks flushed, she played it off as embarrassment but in reality the flush came more from arousal. The thought of Spencer seeing her in sexy underwear, and what that would lead to made her breath catch a little. "We're not there yet" Emily pointed out, much to her own disappointment.

"Maybe you would get there if she saw you in something lacy and see through" Hanna smirked.

Emily rolled her eyes as she made it into the fitting room. "Just go and try your clothes on" She said dumping the pile of clothes she was carrying in a stall.

Forty minutes later Emily was still following Hanna around but at least now they were finally in 'Victoria's Secret' and they would be getting lunch soon. Hanna turned to face Emily holding up two bras, one was hot pink with lace detail and the other was a pretty plain black lace push up. "Which one do you think?" she asked as she held each one against herself in turn.

"Well the black one is more practical" Emily said.

"Practical?" Hanna almost shouted. "I want sexy not practical. Even my Grandma wouldn't have answered like that Em. I'm getting the pink" she said as she threw the pink bra into her basket. "Now do I get the thing or the panties that show off just a bit of ass?" Hanna asked. "Remember sexy"

Emily shook her head. "The Panties are sexier" she said as she took them out of Hanna's hand and dumped them in her basket. "Now come on its lunch time" she said impatiently.

"Nope we're not done" Hanna said with a smirk.

"What?" Emily exclaimed. "But we got your sexy shit for Caleb"

"Yes but we didn't get anything for you" Hanna answered with a mischievous grin.

"I told you we're not having sex yet. I don't need anything" Emily protested.

"You will be eventually and until then you could always tease her with a few flashes of the assets" Hanna said bumping shoulders with Emily.

Emily couldn't help but laugh a little at her blond friend. "You are so loving this aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes, so let me have my fun" Hanna tried but gained a sceptical look from Emily. "Come on. Where's the Emily that made Paige do a strip tease on webcam"

"Hanna" Emily reprimanded but but smirked despite herself.

"There she is" Hanna said with a huge smile.

"Ok" Emily conceded. "But I get final say. Spencer's enough like a teenage boy on heat as it is" Emily said without thinking.

"Oh my god really? That is classic" Hanna laughed. The blonde began scanning the store, her eyes landed on something on the other side of the store and a smirk spread across her face. "You stay over at Spencer's a lot right?"

"Yes" Emily answered cautiously.

"Then I have an idea" Hanna said conspiratorially as she grabbed Emily's arm and dragged her across the store.

Emily looked at the rails that Hanna had stopped in front of and knew her friend was on to something. Her attention was caught be something high up on the left and she knew it would drive Spencer crazy but she could play it off as being innocent. She picked it up and held it against her for Hanna's judgment. Hanna cocked her head to one side as she took in Emily.

"Are you sure you want Spencer?" The blonde asked out of the blue.

"Yeah I am. Why?" Emily said letting the garment drop away from her body as she tried to get her head around the sudden change in topic.

"Because if you weren't I'm pretty sure I could be swayed if I saw you in that" Hanna said with an entirely serious voice.

Emily burst out laughing. "So that is a yes then?"

"That is a yes" Hanna replied.

* * *

Later that evening Spencer was lying on her bed with her acceptance letter in her hands, she had read it at least ten times throughout the day hoping she could divine from it a way to deal with the situation she now found herself in. Over dinner her mother had asked her about the letter and, unwilling to lie, she had told them she had been accepted. They had been thrilled of course and seemed entirely perplexed by her sudden lack of enthusiasm. There were times that she was excited at the prospect of figuring out how a law firm worked from the inside and getting to discover a whole new city. But the rest of the time she was nervous, nervous about being away from Emily, nervous about taking a hiatus on their relationship when it was still so new and delicate. She just wanted to write to whoever it was she had to and tell them that she didn't the internship anymore, she didn't want to leave the amazing girl that it had taken her so long to realise was everything she wanted. But she knew she couldn't do that, she knew that if she wanted herself and Emily to have an adult, functional relationship she had to discuss this with her.

Spencer sighed and picked up her cell phone, she paused taking a deep breath before she typed out a message.

**Spencer: Hi Emily. Are you busy right now? Xx**

As she sat waiting for a reply she re-read her acceptance letter again. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she went to DC right? It wasn't that far. It wasn't that long. Her phone chimed.

**Emily: Hey Spence. No I'm not really doing anything. Just watching TV with my Mom. Xx**

Spencer hurried out a message back before she had chance to change her mind.

**Spencer: Can I come over for a little bit?There's something I need to talk to you about. Xx**

She got up and started pacing her room, she was nervous about how Emily was going to react to the bombshell she was about to drop. But she couldn't help the little ping of excitement that erupted in her chest at the thought of being alone with Emily, with no tests she had to cram for or paper she had to write. She heard her phone go off again.

**Emily: Nothing good ever follows that sentence. But sure, come over whenever. Xx**

Spencer wanted to tell Emily that everything was fine, that it didn't matter, that she didn't really need to talk to her. It was all just a ruse to make her see her and then she would run home and write out a letter saying she didn't want the internship. But she knew she couldn't.

**Spencer: I'll be there in 10 minutes. Xx**

* * *

Emily reached for the door knob nervously when she heard Spencer knock, her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. What could Spencer have to talk to her about so desperately that she had to come round right now? Was she second guessing her feelings? Had being in Rosewood made everything too real? Was she freaking out now that Hanna and Aria knew about the two of them? There was only one way to find out; she pulled open the front door. Spencer smiled sadly at her when they made eye contact and Emily knew immediately that something was wrong.

"Hi" Spencer said quietly.

"Spencer, are you ok?" Emily asked cautiously.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's not as bad as you're thinking" Spencer reassured when she saw the mild panic in Emily's eyes.

Emily just nodded her head gently and stepped aside to let Spencer in. They made their way into the house heading for Emily's room but were cut off by Pam.

"Hi sweetie" Pam greeted.

"Hi Mrs Fields" Spencer replied with a small smile.

"I'd ask you how you've been but I think I already know. Every time I call Emily she talks about you" The older woman laughed.

This time Spencer smiled a genuine smile, she looked across at Emily, the other girl was refusing to make eye contact and was blushing furiously. "Yeah we spend a lot of time together" she said lightly.

Pam smiled brightly and Spencer was struck by how similar Emily and her mom were. Spencer had always been a little intimidated by Pam Fields; she was a military wife through and through. But as Spencer got older the intimidation had begun to fade and she now saw where Emily got her light and inner strength from. "I'm so happy you two ended up together" Pam said.

Spencer almost laughed out loud at the double meaning in Pam's words that were totally lost on the older woman. "Me too" Spencer said as she caught Emily's eye.

Emily cleared her throat. "Mom we're gonna go up to my room ok?" she asked addressing the older woman.

"Sure sweetheart" Pam said before tuning to Spencer. "If it gets late you're welcome to spend the night"

"Thanks Mrs Fields" Spencer said as she followed Emily up the stairs. When they made it to the bedroom Emily sat on her bed and looked at Spencer nervously, the swimmer was pretty sure her heart had been trying to beat out of her chest since she got the first text from Spencer. The paler girl had closed the bedroom door behind her and stood rigidly in front of it.

"Spencer what's going on?" Emily asked with a frown.

Spencer took a deep breath and began wringing her hands together distractedly. "I need to tell you something" She practically whispered.

Emily got up from the bed and walked over to Spencer, she took the other girls hands in her own to stop her fidgeting. "You're scaring me" Emily admitted. "Please just tell me what's going on."

"Can we sit down?" Spencer asked as a way to start, she began walking them over to the window seat.

Using their still entwined hands to halt their progress Emily pulled Spencer to her bed instead. She hadn't been able to sit on her window seat since she'd been back in Rosewood. It still felt like Paige's space.

They perched on the edge of the bed and turned to face one another. Spencer looked into Emily's eyes and launched into her story while she felt a sudden rush of courage. "When I first got to UPenn I applied for an internship programme. But because I'm a total idiot I forgot all about it with one thing or another" she paused to gauge Emily's reaction, the swimmer nodded gently telling her to carry on. "This morning I got a letter and I got the internship."

"That's fantastic Spence" Emily said enthusiastically. She took in Spencer's almost pained expression. "It is fantastic right?"

"Yeah it is" Spencer answered hesitantly.

"I sense a but" Emily pushed.

"It's in Washington DC Spencer replied quietly.

"Oh" Emily breathed, realising now what was bothering Spencer so much. "How long will you be gone?" she asked terrified to hear the answer.

Spencer looked down at their still linked hands. "I might not be going yet" she said refusing to meet Emily's eyes.

"What?" Emily asked shocked. "Why not? This is an amazing opportunity for you"

"Well it depends" Spencer said swallowing hard.

Emily scooted closer to Spencer sensing the other girls distress. "It depends on what?" she asked as she placed a comforting hand on Spencer's knee.

Spencer looked across as Emily's hand on her leg, the simple touch seeming to calm her beyond imagination. Could she do without this? She asked herself. Could she do without Emily's calming influence and the clarity she provided? She looked back up at Emily's patient eyes. "It depends on you" Spencer admitted.

Emily's heart melted a little bit at hearing Spencer admit that she was factoring her in so much on an important decision in her life. "Spencer, how long will you be gone?" she asked again picking up on how Spencer was avoiding answering that question and beginning to fear the worst.

Spencer looked away from Emily's face again. "From March 17 to May 23"

"Two months?" Emily asked incredulously. "You almost made me have a heart attack because you are moving like three hours away for two months?" Emily practically shouted. "You are such an idiot" she said as she pulled her hand out of Spencer's and shoved her in the shoulder.

Spencer's head snapped up to look at Emily; this was not the reaction she was expecting. "Are you mad?" she asked confused.

Emily sighed taking in Spencer's lost look and calmed down a little. "No I'm not mad at you" she reassured and saw Spencer flood with relief. "You made me think you were coming here to tell me you couldn't do this anymore" she admitted quietly. But then her temper flared up again a little and she said a little louder. "And then when you told me about the internship, the way you acted made me think you were going away for two years not two months" She started pacing around the room trying to get rid of some of the nervous tension that had built up inside her.

"Sorry" Spencer said quietly.

Emily turned to face the sheepish looking girl. "You are going on that internship" she said adamantly. "You're going to have an amazing time in DC, you are going to be the best intern that place has ever seen" she smiled a little at Spencer's open mouthed expression. "And I'm going to come and visit you. I've always wanted to see DC"

Spencer laughed lightly as she stood up to meet Emily; she slipped her arms around the swimmers neck. "Really?" she asked.

"Really" Emily assured as she brought her hands up to rest on Spencer's hips. "We can do two months Spence. I promise"

Spencer smiled a wide smile as she took in Emily's features, she couldn't be more happy than she was right now. She wasn't losing Emily, she had an amazing, supportive, kind person in her life and she was stood in front of her again promising to wait for her. She leant forward and placed a kiss on forehead "You are amazing you know?" she asked sincerely.

"I've been told once or twice" Emily joked fluttering her eyelashes.

"I'm sure you have" Spencer agreed as she closed the distance between them and gave Emily a lingering kiss on the lips.

They pulled away and rested their foreheads together. "Come on, you can tell me how your lunch with Aria went" Emily said as she moved away and climbed onto the bed, patting the space next to her.

Spencer lay down close to Emily's body and looked around the room contentedly; her eyes fell on the shopping bags on Emily's desk."Em did you go to Victoria's Secret today?" she asked excitedly.

"Oh…Yeah" Emily said with a smirk. Spencer tried to scramble off the bed but was stopped by Emily. "Where do you think you are going?"

"To see" Spencer replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Emily pulled her back down onto her back on the bed next to her, she then leant over her so their faces were surrounded by a curtain of black hair. "You could" she whispered as she leant down and pecked Spencer's lips. "Or you could wait to see me wearing it" she finished seductively.

"Shit" Spencer whimpered as she felt heat pool between her thighs and Emily's lips on her own again.

* * *

**I love you all. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Thanks all around as usual. I can't believe people are still sticking with this story. It's starting to frustrate me and I'm writing it. So thank you all.**

**CloudGypsy: Aww your so sweet :p Spencer is too intelligent not to over think everything, it's in her DNA. You will wait no longer to see what she bought. I just hope it's hot enough for you!**

**Fender18: That is all so true, I just think she needed it pointed out to her and Aria was the perfect person to do it. God I hope there will be dirty details soon! **

**Kdriz: Soooooory! You are gonna hate me!**

**Doyon66: Thank you for taking so much time out it really means a lot. And thank you for those amazing compliments :)**

**Lsouth: I'm glad you liked it so much it kept you hooked. That is all I could have ever wished for!**

**I don't own it but I love it.**

**Enjoy…..**

* * *

Chapter 14:

It was the evening of Christmas Eve and all four girls had met at Emily's house, because her mom made the best cookies according to Hanna, to exchange gifts at midnight. This year the girls had arranged a Secret Santa with the budget of $30. Wayne was home for the holidays so the Fields' house had a particularly jovial feel this evening. Pam had supplied more cookies than the girls could feasibly eat, although they were giving it a good try. She had made eggnog and allowed them to have one glass of spiced wine each, which Wayne had topped up when his wife wasn't looking. Christmas carols were playing softly in the background as the girls chatted and laughed together.

"Well Spencer you had me last year so it can't be you" Hanna reasoned.

"It's secret Santa Hanna. It doesn't matter who had you last year" Aria argued.

"So it is Spencer?" Hanna asked excitedly causing all three girls to groan in unison.

"Even if it is me I'm not telling you" Spencer said impatiently to the blonde.

"You'll find out in like fifteen minutes Hanna, just chill" Emily added calmly.

"I can't chill. It is Christmas. I'm too excited. My gift better be awesome" Hanna said in a warning tone.

"You are worse than a child" Spencer exclaimed rolling her eyes.

Well I'm just giving you guys some practice" Hanna said matter of factly.

"What are you talking about?" Aria asked confused.

"Those two" Hanna gestured to Spencer and Emily. "Before we know it they'll be married and there will be tiny perfect Spemily's running around"

Emily looked into the kitchen where her mom and dad were leaning close together talking and laughing. "Will you keep your voice down" she hissed just causing Hanna to roll he eyes and wave the swimmer off.

"Jesus, we're not even together yet and you've already got us married off. How many kids are we having Hanna?" Spencer asked sarcastically.

"Eight" Hanna stated trying to push Spencer's buttons as much as possible.

"Eight?" Spence asked wide eyed. "How is that a workable number of kids to have? Our house would have to be huge. And how would we get them around? We'd have to have our own bus" she ranted, forgetting in her annoyance at the blonde that this was all just a joke.

"Well we learnt the other night that you can't keep it in your pants" Hanna shot back with a mischievous grin.

"Yeah Hanna I don't think that's how it works for them" Aria cut in.

"Guys can we talk about this another time" Emily said in a panicked voice, gesturing to her parents sitting only meters away.

"Sorry" Spencer whispered reaching across and giving Emily's hand a quick squeeze.

"Oooo Spence, it looks like Emily isn't too sure about having kids with you" Hanna teased playfully.

"I'm ignoring you, because its Christmas and because I know you're only being annoying because you're pissed that you don't know who you secret Santa is" Spencer said trying to feign calmness.

"I wouldn't have kids with her either Em, they'd just be tiny nerds" Hanna pushed her luck. As she turned to wink at Spencer a cushion hit her square in the face, courtesy of the paler girl.

"Merry Christmas" Spencer smirked sarcastically.

"I was about to tell you to drop it but, as always, you had to learn the hard way" Aria chuckled catching the cushion that Hanna threw at her.

Spencer chuckled at the chaos their nights together always descended into. "Em does your mom have any more eggnog, it's delicious" she asked.

"I don't know, I'll go check" Emily replied as she moved to get up.

"No, I'll go" Spencer said pulling Emily back down and pushing herself up off the floor. She made her way into the kitchen and smiled as she watched Pam and Wayne interact. She could tell how elated the older Fields woman was to have her husband back by the flush I her cheeks and the soft easy smile that was rarely present any other time. Spencer almost turned around to head back into the lounge, unwilling to disturb the couples intimate moment when Pam spotted her.

"Spencer honey do you need something?" Pam asked the smile still lighting up her face.

"I didn't mean to intrude" Spencer said by way of an apology. "I was just wondering if you had anymore eggnog? I think it may be the best thing I've ever tasted" she chuckled.

Pam beamed at the compliment. "Of course. I have plenty. You can have as much as you'd like" she said rushing over to the refrigerator.

"Pam usually makes enough to keep us going until at least February" Wayne chuckled as he sat a mug down on the countertop.

"I'll be more than happy to help you get through it" Spencer said laughing along with Mr Fields.

"What are the plans for Christmas day in the Hastings household?" Pam asked as she poured eggnog into the mug Wayne had provided.

"Well Christmas morning is just another workday at casa Hastings" Spencer said with a sad smile. "Around noon we open presents, then we pack into the car and go to my uncle's house just outside Philly"

"But what do you do until noon?" Pam asked disbelievingly.

"My mom and dad work and Melissa and I try our best to avoid one another. I usually stay in my room and catch up on homework" Spencer answered nervously.

"Homework on Christmas morning? Pam asked horrified.

"Erm… yeah" Spencer stuttered. "There's never much to watch on TV, you know, because normal people aren't watching it. Nobody else is around because they're all doing stuff with their families. So it's better than doing nothing" she explained.

Pam looked at her husband sadly; they seemed to have a conversation without saying a word. "Why don't you stay here tonight sweetheart?" Pam suggested. "We have hot chocolate in our pj's on the couch when we wake up, I make a special Christmas breakfast and we open presents. I know we aren't your family but we must be better than homework." Pam laughed lightly.

"Mrs Fields I couldn't possibly. I couldn't intrude on your family time like that" Spencer said adamantly.

Pam walked over to stand next to the girl placing a hand on her shoulder. "I couldn't enjoy my morning knowing you were at home practically alone" Pam said earnestly.

"Mr Fields has only just got home. You guys should enjoy being together" Spencer tried.

"I'm home for two weeks. I'm pretty sure I can share for a few hours" Wayne said reassuringly.

Spencer shook her head. "I couldn't"

"Wayne chuckled. "I learned a long time ago Spencer that my wife always gets her way"

"I'm not taking no for an answer" Pam sad firmly.

"Are you sure?" Spencer asked tentatively.

"Spencer I am sure" Pam answered deliberately.

Spencer took a deep breath and released it before answering. "I'd love to stay here. Thank you so much Mr and Mrs Fields"

"You're welcome honey" Pam smiled giving Spencer's shoulder a squeeze. "Now you better get back in there, it's almost midnight. Will your mom still be awake?"

"She should be" Spencer answered.

"Great. I'll give her a call" Pam assured as she handed Spencer her eggnog and pushed her towards the door.

* * *

"There she is" Aria announced.

"Did you get lost or something?" Hanna asked.

"I was just going to come find you" Emily added.

"I got talking to your parents" Spencer said wanting to keep the fact that she was staying the night a surprise for now.

"Well its almost present time, so sit your ass down" Hanna demanded.

"If we do have kids the first thing I am doing is teaching them patience" Emily whispered to Spencer causing her to laugh lightly.

Spencer's mind began to wander to all of the options open to her and Emily and their relationship now, there had never been any doubt that Emily would be in her life forever. But now there was the huge question of in what capacity would she be in her life? They weren't into this too deep yet that they couldn't back out and go back to being friends, but Spencer knew that wasn't what she wanted. As she allowed her eyes to scan the Fields' family home she thought about the feelings of warmth and comfort that she always had here and how that radiated off of Emily whenever they were together. That feeling was what she had always craved when she was younger and what she hoped she could provide for her family in the future. She could easily see herself setting up a home like this one and she could see herself doing it with Emily. The thought made her kind of nervous. She had been spending so much time thinking about the immediate future; coming out, telling her parents, making Emily her girlfriend. She hadn't actually considered any further into the future, she could fall in love with Emily, she was pretty sure she already was, they could end up together. Crazier things had happened. Spencer looked over at Emily who was laughing at something Hanna had said and she couldn't help but smile, the nervousness subsided somewhat. She could live with this being her forever she thought.

"Merry Christmas!" Hanna screamed pulling Spencer out of her thoughts.

"Merry Christmas" the other girls said as they hugged each other in turn.

"Ok so who's my secret Santa" Hanna demanded as everyone sat back down with their gifts for each other in hand.

"Hey who said you were going first?" Spencer asked.

"Come on Spence. She might explode if we make her wait" Aria said taking pity on the blonde.

"Fine" Spencer conceded.

"Soooo…." Hanna prompted eagerly looking at each of the girls, but receiving blank stares from all of them. She huffed impatiently raising her eyebrows.

Emily chuckled "Here you go" she said as she leant forward handing her gift over to Hanna. The blonde beamed and immediately ripped the paper off the brown cardboard box inside, she then tore into that too. Her face lit up when she saw what was inside.

"Emily these are awesome" Hanna gushed holding up the ornate silver antique looking tailor's scissors. "All the girls in class are going to be so jealous of these" she squealed pulling Emily into a tight squeeze.

"I'm glad you like them" Emily said with a smile, Hanna just nodded as she turned the scissors over examining the intricate pattern etched into them.

She stayed like that for a few more minutes seemingly hypnotized by the object in her hands. Aria cleared her throat "Hanna aren't you forgetting something" she said gesturing to the gift abandoned next to the blonde on the floor.

"Oh crap" Hanna said picking up the festive gift bag and handing it to Spencer. "I had got you something else originally but I thought this was more appropriate" she said with a smirk.

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Am I going to have to slap you on Christmas day?" she asked rhetorically.

"just open it, Grinch" Hanna shot back.

Spencer took the scrunched up tissue paper from the top of the bag that was obscuring its contents, she peered in looking at the objects confused. She reached in to look at one of the things more closely before dropping it back into the bag with a gasp.

"What is it?" Aria asked excitedly as she took in Spencer's shocked expression and Hanna who was desperately trying not to laugh.

Spencer pulled a book out of the bag. "The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus. How to go down on a woman and give her exquisite pleasure" she read aloud. "And let's not forget Passion Fruit, Strawberry and Tingle lube" she said showing the small bottles to the group.

Hanna burst out into a fit of giggle and Aria's face split into a huge grin while Emily went beet red.

Spencer flipped the book she'd just received over to look at the back cover before cracking it open and starting to skim read over the pages.

"Don't read that here" Emily said snatching the book from Spencer and tossing it back in the bag. "Just give out you present"

Spencer chuckled looking over at Hanna who mouthed 'you're welcome' before passing her gift to Aria. The smaller brunet took the gift with a smile before peeling off the wrapping paper. Inside was a long black leather box which she flipped open to reveal an elegant calligraphy pen with four small pots of coloured ink. "Spencer it's beautiful. Thank you so much" Aria said enthusiastically.

"You're welcome" Spencer replied.

"Ok last but certainly not least" Aria said handing her gift over to Emily.

Emily took the small bag from Aria and slid out the square box from inside, opening it gently her mouth dropped open. Inside was a delicate charm bracelet, right now it only had one charm on it; a pair of silver swimming goggles.

"We're all making a fresh start. I thought this was a nice way to remember all the good times that are to come for you Em" Aria explained.

"That is so thoughtful" Emily breathed. "Thanks Aria" she said receiving a smile from her small friend.

"It's a really sweet gift" Spencer said as she reached over to help Emily fasten the bracelet around her wrist.

Pam and Wayne came into the lounge. "Ok girls I think we're going to head up to bed" Wayne said.

"We're all done here. We were about to head home" Aria said politely as she got up.

"Yeah" Hanna agreed. "Thank you so much for having us"

"It's no problem girls." Pam smiled.

The foursome made their way to the door where Hanna and Aria started to pile on their coats and scarves.

"Aren't you coming Spence?" Aria asked when she noticed the other girl wasn't preparing to leave.

"Not just yet" Spencer said subtly brushing her fingers against Emily's.

"Gonna put my Christmas present to good use?" Hanna asked with a wink.

"Hanna get your mind out of the gutter" Aria chastised. "Sorry guys" she said pulling Emily and Spencer into a hug.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do" Hanna said as she hugged both girls.

"Well that leaves the field pretty open then" Spencer mocked.

"Ok leave now" Emily said before the argument escalated.

"Merry Christmas to you too" Hanna shot.

"Come on" Aria said grabbing Hanna's arm and dragging her out of the door. "Have a nice day tomorrow everyone" she called over her shoulder.

Emily closed the door behind her friends and turned to look at Spencer "Alone at last" she sighed with a smile.

Spencer looked over Emily's shoulder at Mr and Mr's Fields who were still stood in the lounge. "Not quite she pointed out.

Emily rolled her eyes and headed back to the lounge. "Do you girls have everything you're going to need?" Pam asked.

"Yes" Emily said but it sounded more like a question than an answer.

"You can find Spencer something to sleep in right sweetie?" Pam directed the question at her now very confused daughter.

"Your mom asked me to stay for breakfast" Spencer clarified, trying hard not to smile at the thought.

"Really? That's awesome. Thanks mom" Emily said excitedly.

"I couldn't have her alone on Christmas morning" Pam stated. "Anyway we're off to bed, don't stay up too late"

"We won't we'll just tidy up a bit and then follow you up" Emily sad.

They said their goodnights and the girls collected up all of the mugs and plates and put them in the kitchen. As Spencer stood up from closing the dishwasher door she felt arms slip around her waist. "I can't believe I get to wake up next to you on Christmas morning" Emily whispered in her ear.

Spencer turned around to face Emily running her fingers through her hair. "It's going to be the best Christmas ever" she said as she smiled and kissed Emily on the cheek.

"You missed" Emily giggled, causing Spencer to frown in confusion. Emily leant forward so her lips were touching the paler girls and whispered again "You missed" before kissing her firmly. They stood just pecking each other's lips for a few moments before Emily pulled away "We should get to bed" she suggested.

Spencer nodded he agreement and allowed herself to be towed through the house. As they got halfway up the stairs Emily turned to Spencer "Go and get the Christmas present Hanna gave you." Spencer stopped dead and let her mouth hang open as she looked at Emily in total shock. "So my mom doesn't find it" Emily said desperately as she realised how her statement had sounded. Spencer shook her head trying to clear some of the massively inappropriate thoughts that were coursing through her mind right no before trudging back downstairs to retrieve her gift.

* * *

They made it to Emily's room eventually; the swimmer walked over to her bed and reached under her pillow, pulling out a pair of pyjamas. "Here, these were clean on last night" she said passing them to spencer.

"What are you going to wear?" Spencer asked.

"I'll find something. Now go and get changed in the bathroom" Emily said shooing Spencer out of the room.

Confused as to why she couldn't just get changed with Emily, Spencer made her way to the bathroom down the hall getting changed quickly before she brushed her teeth and tied her hair up. Spencer then rushed back to Emily's bedroom, the sight she was met with almost made her drop to her knees. Emily was stood at the foot of her bed in the sexiest pyjamas Spencer had ever seen, they consisted of boxer shorts that covered very little more than a pair of panties would and a button down shirt with a very open neck. Emily had opted to button up just two buttons so the material only met at the middle of her chest and over her ribcage. Spencer took in Emily's cleavage as it peeked out over the buttons of the shirt before her eyes travelled down to the flat plane of Emily's stomach that was visible where the material flapped open, Spencer eyes finally ran slowly up and down the length of Emily's legs, they seemed to go on for days. Spencer gulped as she appreciated the vision before her, eventually tearing her eyes away from Emily's body to look the girl in the eye. "Is this what was in the Victoria 's Secret bag from the other day?" Spencer asked in a hoarse voice.

Emily simply nodded her head and beckoned Spencer over seductively, the paler girl practically ran across the room to meet her. Spencer wanted to seem like she had some control over herself in that moment but as soon as she was within arm's reach of Emily her eyes were glued to the other girl's chest and her hands had found themselves inside the opening of her shirt, resting on the bare skin of Emily's hips. "I've been thinking about what could be in that bag for days" Spencer whispered addressing Emily's chest.

Emily tilted Spencer's chin so she was looking at her face before saying quietly "I hope it lives up to your expectations."

Spencer had imaged a lot of things to be inside that bag but none of them had been anywhere near as sexy as this. She let her eyes drop to Emily's body again in complete awe of the way the girl's skin seemed to glow in the dim light of the bedroom. Spencer wanted to tell Emily she was beautiful, that she had never seen anything quite so glorious in her entire life but her mind was blank so she just smashed their lips together roughly. Spencer didn't take it slow as soon as Emily's mouth opened slightly she slipped her tongue into the other girl's mouth, tasting desperately the sweet flavour that defined kissing Emily Fields. Her grip tightened on Emily's hips as she pressed her fingertips into the flawless tanned skin that they were resting against.

Spencer clashed her tongue with Emily's, enjoying the fact that she was being met with as much intensity as she was putting in. It felt good to have Emily prove that she wanted Spencer as much as Spencer wanted her. Spencer rolled her tongue along the swimmers and she felt nails scratch across the bare skin of her neck; clearly she had done something right. Keeping a firm grip on Emily's hip with her left hand Spencer slipped the other around to the small of the swimmers back, pulling their bodies closer. She needed to feel Emily against her, all of her; she had to feel her heat and the firmness of her body. Whenever she kissed Emily she always felt as though she couldn't be close enough that she couldn't get enough. Once their bodies were pressed together tightly Spencer allowed her hand to wander, ghosting over the curve of Emily's ass moving down to her bare thigh where she drew patterns lightly on the skin with her fingertips. Emily's body was a mystery to Spencer, one that she needed to figure out and she intended to by exploration. Almost without her say so her hand moved again running up Emily's back before sneaking down under the waist band of the boxer shorts she was wearing and palming the supple flesh that was barely covered by lace panties.

Emily gasped bucking her hips forward as she felt Spencer grab at her ass, she broke the contact of their lips to try and get her head around this new advance. Spencer had always held back every other time they kissed but tonight she was kissing her with purpose, as though she was attempting to solve a riddle. "I've been desperate to do that or so long" Spencer muttered in a husky voice before connecting her lips to Emily's again.

Emily smiled into the kiss, ridiculously turned on by Spencer's admission; that she had spent time thinking about touching her body. "Perv" she whispered with a breathy laugh. As way of an answer Spencer squeezed Emily's ass again, this time he swimmer tried to stifle her gasp causing her chest to jump into Spencer's. She could feel herself losing the upper hand quickly as Spencer became braver, turning the paler girl slightly she began walking her backwards towards the bed, Spencer was forced to sit on the edge of the bed to stop herself from falling. Emily leant down with her as they carried on kissing intensely, Spencer's hands had now moved to cup the swimmers face desperate to keep their lips connected.

Their tongues met again, this time Emily was teasing, every time Spencer thought she was gaining control the other girls tongue would retreat and she would be forced to seek and find. Emily was encouraging her to figure her out, begging her to solve the puzzle. Spencer didn't know that kissing could be so psychological; with everybody else she'd kissed it had just been instinct, going with the flow. But with Emily there was a motivation for every action, whether it came from Emily asking her to interpret her needs or it came from herself trying to desperately tell Emily something through a delicate touch or caress. Emily moved slowly to straddle Spencer's hips, sitting down on her lap. Spencer whimpered at the feeling of Emily's weight on top of her, Emily's nails digging lightly into the sensitive skin of her neck, Emily's lips pressed against her, Emily's tongue clashing with hers, the heat of Emily's body against her own. Kissing Emily was like a sensory over load.

Spencer's hands found their way back to Emily's ass, partially to keep the other girl steady but mostly just because she couldn't help herself. She removed her lips from Emily's kissing across her cheek and along her jaw, she reached up and gently brushed Emily's hair to one side and began peppering the other girls neck with open mouthed kisses. She carried on doing this for a little while enjoying breathing in Emily's perfume, the scent was so familiar, it was comforting and put her at ease. Getting carried away the next time Spencer kissed Emily's neck her tongue darted out to taste the skin.

Emily tried to silence the groan that built up in her throat with little success; she rolled her hips against Spencer's without thinking. The action drew a moan from Spencer as well as the paler girl bit down lightly on the skin of Emily's neck. The swimmer threw her head back silently encouraging Spencer to carry on, this was the most intimate they had ever been and Emily felt she had been waiting her entire life for it. They fit so perfectly, their bodies rocking together gently and their hands gripping at each other like it was choreographed.

Spencer moved the shirt Emily was wearing to one side so she could have access to her collarbone; she ran her thumb over the smooth skin before leaning in and attaching her lips. She revelled in the new scent she found here, it was no longer a mask of perfume, it was a sweet musk that was entirely Emily. There was something about the scent that drove Spencer crazy, she felt like she'd been looking for it forever. She knew something would always be missing if she didn't have access to this essence every day for the rest of her life.

Emily couldn't ever remember being this turned on and she was fighting with herself not to just push Spencer down and take her right there and then. But she knew that as brave as Spencer was being right now Emily had to be careful not to push her too far, to let Spencer set the pace. She gripped on to Spencer's shoulders firmly, hoping that she could convince them to behave and not run themselves all over the other girl's body.

Spencer pulled her lips away from Emily's collarbone and took a deep breath as she took in all the skin that was currently exposed to her. She'd known what she was doing up until now, but any further down Emily's body was foreign territory. Spencer looked up at Emily's face feeling vulnerable and out of her depth, Emily stroked her thumb gently across Spencer's cheek silently reassuring her that where ever she went from here was ok. That she could stop if she wanted to. Spencer looked back down at Emily's body committing to memory the swell of the swimmers chest as it heaved with her heavy breathing. The paler girl couldn't help herself from leaning forward and ghosting her lips over the skin that covered Emily's full breasts, she wasn't quite kissing she was just feeling her way around, felling the softness and the suppleness. When she reached the V of Emily's pyjama top she couldn't go any further down, she let her tongue slip out past her lips and she ran it up the valley between Emily's breasts. The salty taste of Emily's skin and the high pitched moan that the girl emitted at the unexpected action sent a wave of pleasure through Spencer's body. Being intimate with Emily was so different to how it had been with Toby, it was obvious with a man how turned on they were, there was the physical evidence. But with Emily she had to work to find out, she had to earn the right to know and she loved that. As she listened to Emily panting against her neck she knew, she just knew, that she could never let anyone else see Emily like this. This had to be for her eyes only and the thought terrified her. No matter what she tried to convince herself that she wanted she would never ever be able to resist this, to resist Emily. Spencer had thought up until now that she was in control, that she could choose the direction of her life but now she knew that that was not true, she and Emily were going to be together and she was powerless to stop it. As Emily's hips rolled into hers again she realised that maybe she could live with that. Spencer leant in again and gently kissed Emily's collarbone before without warning biting down and sucking on the tanned skin hoping to mark it, to claim Emily as her own.

Emily felt Spencer bite down on her collarbone and she saw stars, she loved being at the mercy of Spencer's touch, letting the girl discover herself by exploring her body. She hadn't actively participated in the intimacy that much, she hadn't touched or pushed because she knew that Spencer needed to seek and find on her own. Spencer needed to work through all of the unanswered questions in her mind and if this was the way she chose to do it Emily was ok with that. If Spencer had to lose herself and get out of her head this way she was more than happy to facilitate it. The swimmer was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt the buttons of her pyjama top being popped open and fingertips run up her sides gently causing her to shiver. She looked down at Spencer who was taking in her body; she knew she should feel self-conscious she should want to shy away from the girls intense gaze. But instead she felt like a work of art, spencer was contemplating her like she did the pieces on the walls of the various museums they'd visited.

Spencer looked at the new skin she'd opened up to herself as Emily's top fell open and she was lost, Emily was so perfect. Her body was amazing and flawless but the way she allowed Spencer to take her time or explore without pressuring her was so special. Spencer looked up at Emily who was trusting her completely with her body, a luxury that was reserved to very few people. She felt like she could cry. "You're perfect" Spencer whispered but Emily just shook her head with a shy smile. Spencer couldn't believe that Emily could think anything otherwise, how could she not realise? Spencer was baffled. She pressed her lips softly to Emily's, "You are perfect" she whispered again against her lips, leaving no room for doubt that she believed the statement fully. "Stand up" Spencer said softly, Emily frowned in confusion but did as she was asked. She climbed off Spencer's lap and stood in front of her on shaky legs. Spencer opened her own legs and pulled Emily between them by her hips, she reached up and pushed the shirt Emily was wearing off of her shoulders allowing it to fall to the floor.

Spencer looked at the girl stood in front of her, her curves and the subtle contours of her muscles made Spencer's mouth water. Spencer reached out wrapping her arms around Emily's torso and pulled the swimmer to her, for a second she just held her, felling the other girls skin against her cheek. She pulled back to press slow gentle kisses across Emily's rib cage and stomach and hips, trying not to miss any single inch of skin. Her heart swelled as she realised the multitude of ways Emily was giving herself to her and asking for nothing in return. Spencer had never had such adoration and respect for anyone or anything in her life and again she was terrified. Up until now she had lost everything she'd held dear and every security she'd had and the thought that she would lose Emily too was too much. She looked up at Emily and locked eyes with her again "Em I'm falling in love with you" she breathed in a small, sad, broken voice full of emotion.

Emily's face fell into a soft smile "It's ok" she whispered reassuringly. She pulled Spencer back against her stomach, this time in an embrace, holding her there tightly while she rubbed her back soothingly. "Its ok."

* * *

**I'm really sorry. Don't hate me please. And keep your reviews coming!**


	16. Chapter 15

**This has taken much longer to get up than I expected and I know you are all gonna be so mad at what happens in it. But it needed to happen. I've had the beginning part of this chapter written for weeks but I just couldn't think how to finish it. I got some inspiration the other day :/ Anyway I'm sorry it took so long and I'm sorry it's a bit short. Thank you for all the comments, follows and favourites.**

**Fender18: Hanna is always hilarious and those presents will definitely not be going to waste. Spencer is about to take a big step.**

**PailyD: Be happy. Spencer wasn't in a good place at the end of that scene and she was freaking out a bit. I don't think Emily getting emotional with her would have helped. She needed her to keep her together and Emily knew that.**

**Recklesslittleliar: Yep... almost haha.**

**Imnoone: Wow thank you :)**

**Doyon66: I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much…you will not like this one. They definitely do need those kids your right. And EZRA? Really? He's far to simpering to be A!**

**CloudGypsy: I did warn you it was a bit sexy beforehand. Hanna is annoying but that's what makes her great. I love her! Pam and Wayne would have been mortified if they knew what was going on in the next room…good job Emily can keep quiet :p Noooooo! Don't be a sad panda it just wasn't the right time with Spencer being a bit overwhelmed.**

**Breyanaxo: I've missed you!**

**Dani2606: I'm glad you're liking it so far. And I love when people tell me they are ok with the pace. I know it's frustratingly slow.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: Yes that could be a foreshadowing ;) **

**svuaddict2: What were you doing up at 3am! You should be in bed haha! YAY! I love being somebodies favourite human :) and I love creating Spemily feels.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 15:

After Spencer's confession early on Christmas morning she and Emily had, had little chance to spend any time alone together, it had been pretty hectic with all of the obligations and family traditions of Christmas and New Year. It was now January 2nd and Spencer was beginning to get excited about the prospect of heading back to UPenn and having Emily all to herself again, she was getting a bit sick of having to share the girl. She still wasn't sure if it was the right time, or whether she was ready at all, to commit to Emily fully but at least now she was starting to come to terms with her new feelings for her, even if they did terrify her. Despite this she wanted to show Emily that she _was_ serious about her, that at some point they would make this work.

Spencer was meeting Emily for a coffee at The Brew, she was getting her all to herself for the day and she couldn't be more excited. Right now Spencer was waiting at a table by the window with their usuals sat in front of her; she could feel butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as she checked up and down the street for what felt like the tenth time in five minutes. Her heart jumped a little when she spotted Emily, Spencer revelled in the opportunity to watch Emily and how she acted, how she moved when she didn't realise she was being observed. Emily had an easy grace, she shone wherever she was, yet she was so unassuming; Spencer was entranced. She managed to shake herself out of her daze when she saw Emily reach the door and arranged her face into what she hoped was a normal expression.

"Hey Spence" Emily greeted as she reached the table and pulled Spencer into a tight hug.

"How're you?" Spencer asked returning the hug with enthusiasm.

Emily sat down and started to remove some of her many layers. "I'm good" she smiled. "But I missed you like crazy. Is that a terrible thing to say? I mean we only saw each other a few days ago."

"That is most definitely not a terrible thing to say" Spencer chucked. "I missed you too" she admitted.

"Good. I feel less pathetic now" Emily smiled looking away shyly.

"You're not pathetic. How could you not miss this face?" Spencer mocked causing Emily to roll her eyes. "I still haven't asked how the rest of your Christmas day went"

"It was lovely thank you. I was a little bit disappointed you had to leave though" Emily smiled.

"Please thank your Mom again for me. I had such an amazing time. It's the best Christmas I can remember" she gushed.

Emily laughed affectionately "I don't think I need to thank her again. You did that about a hundred times for yourself"

Spencer flushed "It was a really nice thing or her to do for me" she muttered.

"You were very cute" Emily reassured nudging Spencer's hand subtly with her own. "How was the Hastings' family reunion?"

Spencer rolled her eyes and groaned "It was a whole day of people sitting around a table and trying to one up one another"

"Were paper hats involved?" Emily chuckled.

"Oh no. Nothing so tacky for the Hastings" Spencer said in a faux disgusted voice e.

"Damn. The image of the Hastings clan sat around arguing wearing multi-coloured paper crowns is kinda a funny one" Emily mocked.

"I'll suggest it next year" Spencer smiled. "Anyway I have a belated Christmas present for you"

"Spence" Emily warned. "I didn't get you anything" she said with a guilty look.

"It's ok" Spencer said quietly to calm the swimmer. "It isn't anything much" she said as she reached into her purse and pulled out a small box with a gold bow on top. She passed it over to Emily carefully, all of a sudden feeling nervous.

"You shouldn't have" Emily said weighing the little box in her hands.

"Before you open it, can I say something?" Spencer asked.

Emily looked up from the box to catch Spencer's gaze "Sure"

"This is as much a thank you present as it is a Christmas it. I want you to know how much it means to me that you've been so patient and supportive with me" she paused to cover Emily's hand with her own for a brief moment. "I know this must be so hard and frustrating for you. But you never think about yourself. I think we both know where this is heading but I'm just not there yet Em" Emily nodded in understanding, smiling softly at Spencer. "I can't give you everything right now but I wanted to give you something. Something to show you I _am _serious" she paused again. "Open it"

Emily lifted the lid off the box in her hands and tilted her head to one side as se scrutinized its contents. She lifted out the object as she looked at Spencer. "A key?" She asked confused.

"Yeah" Spencer said nervously. "It's for my apartment in Philly. I know it's something normal people do way into their relationship…but we're not normal" she chuckled. "That apartment is our place. It's where we get to be us. We don't have to worry about anyone else. You said yourself we've created our own little world in that apartment. It's our space so I want you to be able to come and go whenever you'd like." Emily couldn't help the huge gin that spread across her face at Spencer's thoughtfulness. "I wanted you to see that I will get there Em." Spencer said sincerely.

"I really want to kiss you right now" Emily said quietly.

Spencer smiled "I'll make it up to you later"

"Can you drink your coffee quickly?" Emily asked with a wink.

Spencer picked up her mug taking a huge gulp of the liquid. She almost choked as she saw who walked through the door; Emily noticed her face drain of colour and looked over her shoulder towards the door. As she turned back towards the table she let her head drop into her hands in despair for a brief moment before she looked back over at who had just entered. They were now making eye contact with her so she plastered on a fake smile "Hi Toby" she almost whispered.

"Hey Em…Spence" Toby greeted them awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer blurted out causing Emily to cringe slightly at the harshness in the pale girl's voice.

Toby though was used to Spencer's lack of tact and just laughed it off. "I came home for the holidays" he said simply.

"You didn't tell me" Spencer croaked.

"I didn't know if you'd want me to" Toby said sadly causing Emily to shrink back into her seat in shame. Toby was one of her best friends and it was painfully obvious right now that he still loved Spencer and here she was practically on a date with the girl.

"Rosewood is a small town. Did you just expect to not run into me?" Spencer asked incredulously, her voice rising.

Toby smiled an easy smile "I hoped I'd run into you" he admitted without missing a beat.

"So what? You just came here banking on my caffeine addiction?" Spencer accused.

"No I came for coffee. But it was in the back of my mind that you would probably be here, yes" Toby said with an affectionate laugh that made Emily's jaw clench she hated his easy charm right now and more than anything she hated that it seemed to be working on Spencer. "I'm glad you are here." He continued

Spencer blushed and the glare she was directing at Toby softened. Emily noticed the change in Spencer's demeanour and her heart sunk; Spencer still had feelings for Toby it was written all over her face. "You should have told me you were coming home" Spencer said softly, unwilling to let him off the hook but aware that this was a delicate situation.

"I know I'm sorry" Toby said sheepishly. "But now you know I'm here do you think we could maybe grab a coffee or a bite to eat? There's a lot we have to catch up on."

Emily felt sick. Toby had just asked Spencer out, not to mention they were both completely ignoring her presence all together. Before she had chance to hear Spencer answer, which she was pretty sure she already knew, she cleared her throat, reminding the other two that she was there. "Guys I'm gonna go. Something came up, soooo…" the swimmer trailed off as she stood up and started collecting her belongings.

Toby reached over pulling Emily into a hug, unaware of the girl's discomfort. "It was really great seeing you Em. Can I call you?" He asked.

Emily nodded sending him a small smile before looking over at Spencer with sad eyes.

"I thought we were spending the day together?" Spencer asked sounding disappointed.

"Something came up" Emily replied simply. "Bye Spencer" she said before turning to Toby. "It was great to see you Toby" with that she walked out of the cafe.

Spencer watched he go as a panic crept through her body. She'd fucked up somehow but she had no idea how. Was it because she had been harsh with Toby? That couldn't be it. What had she done? Emily was pissed and she had to fix it. She reached for her purse off the floor so she could follow Emily when she realised Toby was asking her a question. She looked at him blankly.

"Tomorrow night?" Toby asked to Spencer's confusion.

"Yeah tomorrow" Spencer said distractedly. Not really knowing what she was saying. "Look I'm sorry I have to go. I'll call you" She stood up smiling at Toby apologetically before rushing out of the café too.

Spencer looked up and down the street frantically looking for the swimmer; she finally spotted Emily's Toyota parked by the curb a few feet away. Spencer ran up to the passenger side of the car and jumped in before the other girl could start the engine, as she looked over at a slightly shocked Emily she saw her subtly trying to wipe tears from her eyes.

"Em what's wrong?" Spencer asked concerned.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked in disbelief. "You just arranged to go on a date with Toby, your perfect ex-boyfriend, while I was sat right there" she sobbed.

"No" Spencer shrieked frantically. "I'm not going on a date with him"

"Well he asked you out and you didn't say no" Emily said gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"He doesn't want to go on a date. He wants to catch up" Spencer defended.

Emily rolled her eyes at the paler girls obliviousness "Spencer I saw the way you looked at him. God, I was so stupid to think you could be over him. Or that this….whatever it is, could work between us." Emily said brokenly.

"Em what are you saying?" Spencer asked willing herself desperately not to breakdown.

"I'm saying that I maybe just realised why this wasn't a good idea in the first place. That you need to get your shit together Spencer and I can't be a part of you doing that. It hurts too much. Go on your date or whatever it is with Toby. Date whoever you like until you figure out what the hell it is that you want. Then come and find me because I can't do this" Emily got out before her voice cracked.

"Em" Spencer begged.

"Please Spencer I can't do this right now" Emily whispered in a voice thick with tears.

Spencer couldn't stand to hear the heartbreak in Emily's voice. She sat there for a second willing her brain to come up with something that would make this right. But she drew a complete blank. There were no words so she did the only thing she could think to do. She got out of the car and she let Emily drive away.

* * *

Spencer stood in her bathroom just staring blankly at her reflection in the mirror. Since her fight with Emily it felt like she had been existing in a bubble, she got from one place to another but she couldn't remember doing it, she tried to do simple tasks but she was distracted. It had only been a little over a day since she had spoken to Emily but to Spencer it felt like a lifetime. She checked her phone every five minutes and in between checks was convinced she had heard it vibrate only to be disappointed when there was no message. Spencer was meant to be meeting Toby in a few hours, he had called last night to check they were still on for their catch up even though Spencer couldn't remember it ever having been on. She stood there trying to muster up the energy to get ready. Breathing a heavy sigh Spencer stripped down and listlessly stepped into the shower. The water prickled her skin causing it to tingle, the sensation reminded her of how her body reacts to Emily's touches and kisses. As the thought that she may never feel that feeling again crossed her mind she practically doubled over as an uncontrollable sob wracked her body.

She couldn't do it, she couldn't do it without Emily anymore. As the hot water washed over her skin she realised that the thought didn't scare her anymore the way it had on Christmas morning. Now it felt like an epiphany, like finding the answer to one of life's big mysteries. Screw what people thought, screw what people said, screw what challenges this decision could throw up. Emily was worth it all. No matter how scared she was this reality, standing here wondering whether Emily was still hers, was more terrifying than all of those things combined. She could live with anything but not this aching space in the middle of her chest that appeared as she watched Emily drive away and had grown with every second that passed since then.

Spencer threw herself out of the shower, hastily rubbing a towel over her body and hair, not really drying it effectively but not really caring. She ran into her bedroom and started picking clothes up randomly off the floor and pulling them out of drawers, not looking at what she put on. She practically sprinted down the stairs and out of the front door, grabbing her car keys on the way out. Less than five minutes later Spencer was pulling up outside of the Fields' family home. She trotted up the driveway and rapped sharply on the door, she was practically bouncing up and down on the spot as she waited for somebody to answer. Spencer Hastings did not do nervous…but right now she was nervous.

The door opened to reveal Pam Fields her face changed from a smile to a look shock and concern as she took in Spencer's dishevelled appearance. "Spencer? Honey are you ok?" Pam asked in her naturally motherly way.

"Yeah" Spencer replied distractedly. "Is Emily here?"

"No. She stayed at Hanna's last night and she said she's staying there again. Is something wrong?" Pam asked sounding worried now.

"No I just have something I need to talk to her about. I'll go find her at Hanna's. Thanks Mrs Fields" Spencer rushed out as she turned and headed back towards he car.

"Spencer" Pam called causing the paler girl to halt her motion and turn around. "You really shouldn't come out with your hair wet. You'll catch your death"

* * *

Ten minutes later Spencer found herself outside of Hanna's house waiting for someone to answer the door. "What took you so.." Hanna stopped midsentence as she realised it wasn't who she expected it to be. "Spencer? What are you doing here?" she asked in a cold voice.

"I have to see Emily" Spencer said as she tried to look past Hanna in to the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of the swimmer.

Hanna sighed. "Well she isn't here and even if she was I wouldn't let you see her" she said sharply. "You can leave now" she prompted as she went to close the door. "You look bat shit crazy by the way" she paused to add, giving Spencer just enough time to catch the door before it was slammed in her face

"Please" Spencer begged her voice cracking. "I know she's here. Her mom told me she was here" she said frantically.

Hanna's face softened as she saw the pure anguish in Spencer's eyes. "She went to the store" She revealed in a gentle tone knowing Spencer felt bad. "You're an ass you know?"

Spencer closed her eyes trying to fight off the tears. "I know" she choked out.

"You just had to run into Toby didn't you?" Hanna asked sarcastically.

"Please don't Hanna. I don't need this right now." Spencer snapped.

"I don't think Em wants to see you right now Spence" Hanna said sadly.

Spencer sighed in frustration. "I have to see her. I have to talk to her. She's everything to me Han. I think about her every second of every day. I miss her the moment she walks out of the door. Nothing feels right when she's not by my side. I wake up in the morning in an amazing mood because I know that she will be a part of my day. Toby and I have history but Emily is my future, I know that now. I was just too stupid to see it before. Now I've practically lost her and it's taken that to make me realise what she means to me. She gives me hope. She makes me think that maybe the world isn't such a crappy place. She makes me feel safe and wanted. I'm falling for her and I'm ready to fall for her now. I need to see her Hanna. I need to tell her. She needs to know" Spencer finished as tears began to fall.

"She knows" a voice behind Spencer announced.

Spencer spun around to find Emily stood a few steps away from her with a grocery bag in her hands. The paler girl rushed towards her. "Emily I'm so sorry. Toby means nothing to me. You're what I want. You're who I want" she rambled.

"Toby doesn't mean _nothing_ to you Spencer. Don't say that" Emily said in a pained voice, feeling guilty that Spencer felt like she had to say that.

"Ok well of course he means something to me. He was a huge part of my life. But I have no romantic feelings for him Emily. I don't see him like that" Spencer tried to reassure.

"Did you know that before you saw him yesterday?" Emily asked looking at her feet sadly.

"Em" Spencer breathed lifting Emily's chin.

Emily looked into Spencer's eyes. "Before you saw Toby yesterday did you know you had no romantic feelings for him? And don't you dare lie to me" she asked firmly this time.

Spencer couldn't speak so she just nodded her head yes. Emily' face fell; the sadness broke Spencer's heart. She'd hurt Emily and that was the one thing in the world she never wanted to do. "I'm sorry" she choked out. "I didn't know yesterday but I do now. There is nothing there. He's a great guy but he isn't you Emily. I never felt with him what I feel with you"

"I believe you" Emily said as her own tears spilled over.

"You do?" Spencer asked disbelievingly, reaching out to gently cup Emily's cheek.

Emily leant into the touch, closing her eyes to saviour the moment. "Yeah I do" she breathed. "Spencer you are stood in the middle of Hanna's driveway in Wonder Woman pyjama bottoms, your hair is half wet and… insane quite frankly and you have no makeup on. _You_ don't get much more serious than that"

Spencer looked down at herself only now registering the miss-matched outfit she was wearing. "Oh my god I look like a crazy person" she said sounding mortified.

"You don't look like a crazy person" Emily chucked.

The two girls heard a snort. "Like hell she doesn't. I was just about to find the number for Radley" Hanna said shamelessly

"Hanna" Emily chastised while Spencer just shook her head "May be you look a little bit like a crazy person. But you're my crazy person" Emily reassured.

"So does this mean you forgive me?" Spencer asked softly and hopefully.

"I do" Emily replied with a sad smile. "But I'm still mad and there is still some stuff that I need to think through. I need some time Spence"

"Time?" Spencer squeaked. "How much time?" she asked desperately.

"I don't know" Emily admitted as she pulled Spencer into a tight hug. "But I know I won't be able to stay away from you for too long" she whispered into her ear. "I'll call you ok?" she added as she walked towards Hanna's house squeezing Spencer's hand as she passed her.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you thought.**


	17. Chapter 16

**I felt like I needed to make up for the wait and how much I disliked the last chapter so I'm updating again. Thank you so much for all of your reviews and favourites and welcome to all the new followers.**

**Simplyathinker: I hope this chapter is everything you hoped for haha.**

**Breyanaxo: You were greatly missed you've been with me from the beginning. You're one of the only reasons I carried on writing at all. I know Toby has terrible timing!**

**svuaddict2: Prepare for more Spencer cuteness. **

**Kdriz: No don't cry…please…I'm sorry.**

**PailyD: Sorry I scared you. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. They need a bit of space to figure stuff out!**

**Beautifuldreamerr: Yep sorry it was real :( Emily has been through a lot and let's not forget she was broken up with a little while ago. She's allowed a moment of insecurity I think ;)**

**Fender18: Yeah I feel like Spencer has been afforded all this time to get her shit together and Emily has been supportive now she just needs a second to get into the right headspace. You're right they won't be able to stay away from each other for long.**

**CloudGypsy: I don't know how you figured it out I am always so subtle :p I know I know I know you don't like him but he's not in it that much so you can forgive me ;) I know all of these things but Emily's really emotionally invested and she saw the girl she's falling in love with swooning a little over her hot and perfect ex. **

**passion1029: Don't die. The next chapter is here.**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars or any of the characters I'm just borrowing them.**

**Oh and thanks to CloudGypsy for her unintentional help with this chapter :)**

**Enjoy…**

* * *

Chapter 16:

It had been two and a half weeks since Spencer had last seen Emily, that's eighteen days, that 432 hours, that's 25,920 minutes, that's 1,555,200 seconds. Spencer felt as though she'd counted every one of them tick by, that every one of them had tugged at her heart. She had received the occasional text from Emily and even a call a few days ago but they were a poor substitute for the real thing. Her mind was constantly drifting off to thoughts of kissing Emily; the feeling of her lips against her own, the feeling of her skin under her finger tips, the warmth of her body. Any free moment she had was filled with thoughts of Emily. Right now she had just gotten back from class and she was done for the day, she was sat on her couch watching TV wishing that Emily was curled up into her side keeping her warm. But she wasn't there. Spencer was alone like she had been for the last eighteen days. She couldn't take much more of this, there had to be something she could do to put Emily's mind at ease, to make her believe in them again. Spencer missed Emily, more than she'd ever missed anything or anyone in her life. She needed a gesture, something that would prove herself to Emily. First she thought about jewellery or perfume or chocolate but that wasn't right, Emily wasn't materialistic she wouldn't appreciate any of those things. It had to be something heartfelt that would prove without doubt what Emily meant to her but right now Spencer was fresh out of ideas. She sighed in frustration throwing her head back onto the couch thinking that maybe Emily deserved better than her if she couldn't even come up with a romantic way to prove her feelings to her. Spencer sat there thinking for a few more minutes but not even a shadow of an idea came to her mind, grunting in annoyance she got off the couch and grabbed her purse heading for the Chinese takeout around the corner so she could bury her sadness under mountains of food…again.

* * *

By the time Emily left the natatorium it was already getting dark and it was bitterly cold especially with her hair still damp, she just wanted to get home as quickly as possible jump into her pyjamas and curl up in bed like she did every night. The swim team tried endlessly to try and get her to come out with them or to join in the celebrations after a meet but she always made an excuse. Emily didn't want to do anything she just wanted to sit on her own and think about her next step with Spencer. What she should do next. Whether she should put her heart on the line again. She knew Spencer was worth the pain but she wasn't sure if she could survive losing her. When Spencer had told her weeks ago that she was falling in love with her Emily was sure that her heart exploded, she couldn't remember feeling so happy. She was sure right then that everything with her and Spencer would be ok, that they were getting there. It only took a matter of days for all that to come crashing down around her ears; Toby came back into the picture and she saw Spencer second guess herself again. Emily had done her hiding, she didn't want to do it again, she didn't want to be second best to someone that she could never compare to. Spencer had told her that she had no feelings for Toby now, but it had hurt that the other girl had been kissing her and saying all of the sweet things that she said when she was still wondering about her ex. Emily looked around herself and realised she was almost halfway home, her feet having just carried her where she wanted to go while her mind wandered. She stiffened slightly when she heard quick footsteps approaching her from behind, this wasn't a quiet route so there was every chance it was just someone headed in the same direction as her but the persons pace was a little quicker than could be considered normal. She sped up a little knowing that the next street she turned into was a little better lit but as she did she heard someone calling her name, spinning around she saw Becky was practically jogging to catch up with her.

"Jeeze Em, are you a marathon runner in your spare time. I've been trying to catch up with you for almost three blocks" Becky laughed.

Emily breathed deeply to rid herself of the slight fear that had crept in when she thought she was being followed. "Sorry" she said flatly. "What did you want?"

Becky stumbled a bit at the lack of Emily's usual sweetness but recovered quickly. "Oh. Well I lost my schedule for this semester's meets. I was just wondering if I could get a copy of yours?" she asked trying to sound bright.

"Could you not have asked Coach?" Emily said impatiently, she didn't want to bother with anyone tonight and Becky was far too chipper for her bad mood.

"Well I guess I could but I didn't want to wait around and your residences are around the corner from mine so I just thought this would be easier." Becky reasoned.

Emily sighed. "Yeah you can have a copy. Come on" she said as she turned and began walking in the direction she had been heading previously. Becky ran a few steps to catch up with Emily and walked next to her in silence for a few minutes.

"I haven't seen you outside of practice for a while." Becky said breaking the silence.

Emily rolled her eyes wishing now that she had started running the second she heard Becky behind her. "No I've been busy" Emily answered noncommittally.

"With what?" Becky pushed.

"We're at school. With school stuff." Emily snapped.

Becky smiled a little, allowing Emily's bad mood to just wash over her. "The semester only just started Emily. No one has _school stuff _yet."

Emily turned to face Becky, shocked that the girl was calling her out on her lie. "Well I do. I don't see you in any of my classes. So how would you know what I have going on?"

"I know that your bad mood has nothing to do with school. Whatever's going on you can't hide away from it Emily. We're all here for you. I'm here for you if you need to talk. Don't do this on your own." Becky said the constant smile that seemed to be on her face slipping as she got serious.

Emily swallowed hard, feeling guilty for being so sharp with someone who was trying to reach out to her. "You're right. I know I shouldn't be shutting myself away but I just need a little head space right now."

"That's cool. I can respect that. But remember what I said; I'm always her for you." Becky smiled giving Emily's elbow a quick squeeze before linking their arms.

"Thanks Becky" Emily smiled.

They walked in silence again for a few more minutes, this time it was much more comfortable but it wasn't long before Becky broke it again. "There's this party on Saturday after the meet. It's not a big thing but the whole team will be there. I think you should come." She paused watching Emily as she contemplated the offer. "Even if you only stay an hour. If you hate it and just want to go home I'll walk you back, no arguments." She promised.

Emily took in Becky's hopeful look, she knew she should do something other than just wallow in her room staring at those four walls, it was starting to make her feel down. "Ok I'll come" she agreed. "But I'm not staying late"

"No. As long as you want" Becky beamed.

They reached Emily's residences and made their way to her room quietly, Emily collecting her mail on the way up. "I'm sorry it's a bit of a mess" Emily apologised as she pushed her door open.

Becky looked around at the few bits and pieces scattered around Emily's desk and on her floor. "This is not a mess Emily. The only part of my floor you can see is the path from the door to the bed." Becky chuckled.

"I'm from a military family. This is a pig sty by their standards" Emily said with a small smile as she reached across to turn on her printer.

"Emily, can I ask you something?" Becky asked somewhat nervously.

"Sure" Emily replied distractedly as she fiddled with bits of paper as she attempted to scan the swim meet schedule for Becky.

"Does your bad mood have anything to do with Spencer?" Becky asked carefully.

Emily froze in the middle of her task. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because you've been off since you came back after Christmas break and I haven't seen Spencer around much since we got back either. She comes to our meets but she never sits in the front row anymore, she's always somewhere off to the side or something." Becky explained.

"She comes to our meets?" Emily asked shocked.

"Yeah" Becky answered. "You didn't know?"

"No. I mean I looked for her in the front row. When I didn't see her I just assumed…" Emily trailed off.

"She's there. So I guess I'm right…this is to do with Spencer?" Becky asked.

Emily looked over at Becky, the hurt evident in her eyes. Hearing about Spencer's continued sweetness, that she made no effort to make Emily aware of, that she asked no credit for, made her heart ache. "I don't want to talk about Spencer" she said quietly, passing the other girl the copied schedule.

"Ok" Becky said not wanting to push Emily too far. "Thanks for this Emily. I'll leave you in peace" she said as she starting making her way towards the door, knowing Emily needed some time to herself right now.

Emily got up and followed Becky to the door to see her out. "Thank you for your concern. It really does mean a lot" she said with a sad smile.

Becky just nodded and stepped out of the door, she turned to look at Emily again. "Whatever happened between you two will work out Emily. I've seen the way Spencer looks at you…and I've seen the way you look at her. You won't be able to stay away from each other for long. I'll call you about the party."

Emily smiled offering Becky a small wave, watching as the other girl disappeared down the corridor. She shut her door and sighed, she missed Spencer again, she missed her with an all-consuming intensity. Making her way through her room she flopped backwards on to her bed, squirming uncomfortably as she felt something sticking into her lower back. Reaching around she pulled out from underneath her the mail she'd collected earlier, she leafed through it, it was mostly catalogues and junk mail but one caught her eye. She recognised her mother's hand writing immediately and she was instantly curious, her mom called her everyday but had never written to her. Emily turned the envelope oven and ripped open the seal, the envelope had felt strangely heavy but there was only one sheet of paper inside. She slid the page out and instantly found out why it had felt a little heavy, the letter was brief;

_Hi Emily,_

_I found this in the pocket of a pair of your jeans when I was doing the laundry._

_I thought it might be important._

_I love you._

_Mom_

Taped to the bottom of the letter was the key that Spencer had given her for her apartment, Emily must have shoved it in her pocket and forgotten about it. Emily traced her finger over the key remembering the things Spencer had said to her that day, how she'd thanked her for her patience, how she'd promised she'd get there. Emily couldn't believe how stupid she was being, she ripped the key off the paper and ran out of her door heading for the only place she needed to be right now.

* * *

Spencer had picked at her dinner, most of it was still sat in a carton on the kitchen counter, she'd showered but it hadn't relaxed her the way she'd hoped and she'd watched mindless crap on the TV but it had failed to distract her from thoughts of Emily. She looked at the clock and saw that it was ten thirty; she had been flicking through the channels for the past half an hour and was yet to find anything she wanted to watch. She guessed she was having an early night, getting up from the couch she thought maybe she could read in bed for a little while; reading always helped her to escape. She climbed under the sheets and picked up her book opening it at the marker and beginning to scan the pages. As she lay there finally starting to relax she heard a noise that had her sitting bolt upright in bed, it sounded like someone was messing around at her front door. She tried to think logically, maybe it was someone who was trying the wrong door or someone pushing something through the letter box, although that would be odd at this time of night. The years of –A torture meant that thinking logically in these situations was difficult; in the back of her mind she was convinced someone was breaking into her apartment to kill her. She placed her book down and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, she was about to get up to investigate when her bedroom door flung open, she gasped audibly and her heart started hammering in her chest. A figure stepped into the dimly lit room and Spencer didn't know whether to scream or cry in relief, stood there was a windswept slightly out of breath Emily who was trying desperately not to cry. Spencer put her hand over her heart and took a deep shuddering breath her whole body was shaking but she wasn't sure which emotion exactly was causing it.

"I couldn't be away from you any longer. I'm sorry I had to come. I'm sorry" Emily rambled as she rushed across the room. She dropped to her knees in front of Spencer. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" she repeated unsure whether she was apologising for being away for so long or barging in unannounced or for scaring Spencer. All she did know is that she was sorry.

"shhh" Spencer soothed as she ran her fingers through Emily's hair. Emily let her head drop into Spencer's lap in front of her and sobbed uncontrollably, Spencer continued combing her fingers through Emily's hair trying to calm her but knowing that the swimmer just needed to cry it out right now. Spencer leant forward letting her body drape over Emily's so she was hugging her from above, she felt as though she was trying to shield the other girl from all the hurt of the world, all of the things that would ever make her cry again. Spencer didn't try to stop her own tears she just let them fall freely, they needed this moment, neither girl knew how long they stayed in their unconventional embrace but once Emily's sobs began to calm she shifted and pulled back causing Spencer to release her and sit up.

They looked at each other through watery eyes. "I couldn't be away from you for another second." Emily said desperately as her chin began to wobble.

"Please don't cry Em" Spencer begged. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She reassure as she reached out for Emily's face running her thumb gently over her cheek wiping away some of the moisture.

"It's been like torture" Emily whispered.

Spencer smiled softly down at Emily who was still knelt in front of her. "Have you had enough time now?"

Emily laughed softly "I have had enough time to last me a lifetime" she said as she got up so she could sit on the bed next to Spencer. She leant over and captured Spencer's lips in a soft kiss, it was chaste but it lingered as both girls enjoyed being close to each other again and enjoyed sharing this intimacy.

Spencer pulled back slowly, resting her forehead against Emily's. "It's been so hard without you Em" she whispered.

"You won't be without me again, I promise. I don't know why I got so mad. I wasn't mad at you I was mad at myself. I saw how Toby looked at you and how he talked to you and it was just so painfully obvious that he's still in love with you and he's one of my best friends. He gave me the courage to come out, he changed my life for the better and I'm taking the woman he loves from him. That's a line you are not meant to cross, I felt like I was lying to his face sitting there letting him think we were just getting coffee as friends. And then I saw that look you gave him and I just felt sick, you looked at him like I've seen you look at him so many times in the past and…. I can't compete. I can't compete with all the things you've shared and all the sacrifices he's made for you. You two were meant to be together and I looked at the two of you and I felt like I was in the way, I was standing in the way of what was always meant to be." Emily rambled, by the time she had finished she was crying again.

Spencer moved back slightly from Emily so that she could look at her properly, she wiped the swimmers fresh tears. "You can't compete?" Spencer asked incredulously. "What about all the things we've been through together? What about all the sacrifices we've made for each other? You are not in the way of anything Emily. Can't you see that _you are everything? _You are all I want. You are all I need. I can't do anything more to prove that to you."

"I don't need you to do anything to prove that to me. I know now. I just needed some time to figure it out for myself" Emily explained looking down guiltily.

"I'm so glad you're here" Spencer whispered lifting Emily's chin.

"I'm so glad I'm here" Emily whispered back as she leant in to press her lips against Spencer's again. This time it wasn't so soft, Emily kissed her with more intent than the first time, now she was making promises that she couldn't put into words. Spencer grabbed Emily by the back of the neck keeping their lips firmly pressed together, there was no way that Emily was getting away from this kiss any time soon, she had been waiting for it for too long.

Feeling Spencer pull her closer Emily trapped the paler girl's bottom lip between both of hers, asking for the kiss to be deepened. Spencer gasped and Emily took the opportunity to seek out the other girl's tongue with her own, both girls moaned as their tongues gently made contact. It felt like the first time all over again, like it was their first touch, everything felt as exciting as it did the first time their lips touched as they danced in Spencer's living room. Emily moved closer to Spencer cupping the paler girl's cheek with one hand while the other slipped around her body gripping onto the loose t-shirt Spencer was wearing to bed.

Spencer was almost shocked by the intensity in which Emily was kissing her, this was their reunion, there was so much more to this than just passion and lust it was sealing some kind of unspoken agreement. The kiss marked a new chapter in their relationship, neither girl knew how but they both realised that there was no going back from here. The past two weeks had solidified in both of their minds that this is what they wanted, what they needed. Spencer shuffled backwards on the bed so she was lying back against the pillows pulling Emily with her by the back of her neck. Emily ended up settled between Spencer's legs the surprise of their sudden change of position meant that the swimmer had no chance to catch herself before she fell down on top of Spencer. She tried to shift some of her weight onto her arms but Spencer stopped her by slipping her arm around Emily's waist and up her back keeping them pressed together. The paler girl enjoying the feeling of being trapped under the swimmers firm body, she was revelling in the other girl's weight keeping her pinned firmly to the mattress.

Emily felt her body melt into Spencer's as she was pulled down on top of her, their bodies seemed to fit and move together perfectly like they were made to do this. She pulled her lips away from Spencer's, sitting up slightly and looked down at the girl breathing heavily underneath her; she was so beautiful, the blush across her cheeks, her ruffled hair, her pink and slightly swollen lips all made her look more breath taking. Emily smiled down at the girl beneath her; she reached up and brushed some of Spencer's hair away from her face. "You are so beautiful" Emily whispered.

Spencer pulled Emily back in for another kiss, this one much more reserved. "Stay with me tonight?" Spencer asked as they moved apart. "I can't spend another night away from you"

"Of course I'm staying here" Emily said with a huge grin. "In fact I might as well give up my own room because I'm never sleeping in it again." She joked.

"That's fine by me." Spencer chuckled. "But if you're staying the night I don't think you'll be very comfortable in your warm ups" she said seductively as the pulled down the zipper on the front of Emily's jacket. Her eyes lit up when she saw that the other girl wasn't wearing a top under her jacket, unable to stop herself Spencer leant forward and kissed down the swimmers neck and across her collarbone. She knew she shouldn't have been, since she and Emily were in a fight, but she'd been thinking about doing this a lot over the last few weeks. She had been thinking about tasting Emily's skin and exploring her body.

Emily sat up more so she was just out of reach of Spencer's lips and gave the other girl a guilty look. "As amazing as that feels Spence, can we hold off on this? I just want to be near you."

"Of course" Spencer said earnestly. "I'll get you something more comfortable to wear and we can just lay here."

"Can we cuddle?" Emily asked with a shy smile.

"I can't imagine anything better" Spencer winked as she squirmed to get up from under Emily. She dug through one of her draws and pulled out an oversized Pittsburgh Penguins t-shirt and some cotton pyjama bottoms. "They're not as sexy as what you usual wear to bed but they'll have to do." She grinned as she tossed the clothes to the swimmer.

Emily shook her head but smiled. "I'm more of a Flyers fan but I guess I can live with it since it's you." She said as she brushed past Spencer making her way to the bathroom.

Spencer climbed back into bed unable to supress the grin on her face, she felt like everything was right with the world again. She had Emily back and best of all Emily had come to her, she hadn't had to beg and make silly promises, they had come back together because they both missed each other and both needed each other and this was right. Spencer heard the bedroom door creak slightly as Emily re-entered the room, she dumped her clothes as soon as she was inside and bounded over to the bed, crawling up it excitedly and throwing herself into Spencer's waiting arms. "Don't you want to get under the covers?" Spencer chuckled.

"No you can keep me warm" Emily replied with a contented sigh. "Why did I ever think that time away from you was a good idea?"

"Because you're an idiot" Spencer said squeezing Emily against her tightly.

"I really am" Emily laughed lightly. "Remind me to never do it again."

"I will you. You're not going anywhere again. You are mine forever." Spencer tried to sound like she was joking but in reality she desperately wanted Emily to be hers forever.

"Oh forever? Really?" Emily said carrying on the light-heartedness.

"I hope so." Spencer said softly, suddenly sounding serious.

Emily looked up at Spencer's hopeful eyes from under her dark eyelashes. "Ask me" she said simply.

"What?" Spencer asked confused by Emily's strange command.

"Ask. Me" Emily said again but this time stressing each word slowly.

Spencer looked at her for a second thinking back on the conversation they had just been having when all of a sudden it clicked into place. She reached across and brushed some of Emily's hair behind her ear. "These past two weeks have been some of the hardest of my life but they've made me realise how much I care about you. I adore you Emily. Will you be my girlfriend?"

A huge smile spread across Emily's face. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend." she swooned, leaning up to peck Spencer on the lips a few times.

"So are we official now?" Spencer chuckled.

"We are officially official." Emily said as she settled back down onto Spencer's chest feeling the other girl press a gentle kiss into her hair.

* * *

**Thank you for reading and I hope you like it. Review and let me know what you thought.**


	18. Chapter 17

**I can't really apologise enough for the long wait for this chapter. I got a second job and had some family stuff etc so it's just been a bit hectic. Thank you all for being so patient and I hope this is worth the wait. You have CloudGypsy to thank for it even getting put up today. I really didn't have the energy to proof read so…you can deal with that.**

**Spemily: I hope you find enough cute Spemily moments in this chapter.**

**Beautifuldreamerr: I hope your jumping up and down at the end of this one too ;) Yeah Becky isn't a bad guy, we like Becky. **

**Simplyathinker: Wait no longer.**

**Breyanaxo: Yeeeeeaaaaaaah the full circle thing was intentional….honest. Ok it wasn't but I wish i was.**

**PailyD: I love that you review after every chapter. Please keep it up.**

**Fender18: I got on that one :p I agree that that Hastings are pretty cool.**

**CloudGypsy: I don't know where I get the inspiration ;)**

**ScriptedLullabies: I really love Paily and I am a little bit in love with Paige so there will be no bashing in this don't worry. Welcome to the dark side!**

**I don't own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Enjoy….**

* * *

Chapter 17:

Emily was pacing around her room nervously, today she was going on a date with Spencer; their first since they became official. Spencer had refused to tell her anything about the date except for her to clear her schedule for the entire day and to wear something warm and comfortable. Emily had opted for an oversized cream chunky knit jumper, black skinny jeans and boots but without knowing what Spencer had planned for them was making Emily stress out that she wasn't dressed up enough. She knew that Spencer had expensive taste and today she would be out to impress so there was every chance they would end up somewhere fancy and she would be underdressed. Emily rushed over to her closet planning on hastily rethinking her outfit when her phone buzzed on her desk, it was Spencer telling her she was here, she sighed cursing the other girl's perpetual punctuality. She grabbed her coat and stuffed her phone into her purse before running out of the door as she soon as she started making her way down to Spencer all thoughts about her outfit were forgotten, replaced with sheer excitement about seeing her girlfriend. Her girlfriend; she loved saying that. Emily fiddled impatiently with her coat as she stood in the elevator, which seemed to be moving painfully slowly today, she just wanted to see Spencer. She heard the ding that signalled she had reached her floor and she was out of the door before they were completely open. Emily rushed for the front door of her residence building and out onto the street, her face broke into a huge smile when she saw Spencer leaning against her car at the curb. They caught eyes and Spencer beamed matching Emily's smile, they met halfway pulling each other into a tight hug, Spencer pulled back slightly so she could press a gentle kiss to Emily's lips.

"Hi" Emily said happily once they separated a little, both girls reluctant to be too far away from each other.

Spencer linked her fingers with Emily's as they walked the short distance to her car. "Are you excited?" she asked the smile never leaving her face.

"I'd be more excited if I knew where we were going." Emily tried.

"Nope, not gonna work. You'll find out when we get there." Spencer said as she opened the passenger door for Emily.

Emily pouted adorably at Spencer as she climbed into the driver's seat. "Pleeeaaaase Spence." She begged. "I need to know if I'm dressed ok."

"You look perfect" Spencer reassured as she leant over to give Emily a chaste kiss all of a sudden exceedingly nervous about the day she had planned. She hoped Emily would have fun. She started the car and noticed her palms begin to sweat as she gripped the steering wheel. "Let's go." She said trying to make her voice sound normal.

Emily looked across at a now distracted looking Spencer. "Are you ok?" she asked reaching across and placing a comforting hand on Spencer's knee.

"Yeah I'm fine." Spencer lied, looking over at Emily and realising she wasn't buying it. "Ok I'm really nervous. I want you to have a good day." She admitted.

Emily smiled sweetly. "Spencer I'm going to have an amazing day because I'm spending it with you. We could have stayed in your apartment all day and it still would have been a great date."

Spencer placed her hand on top of Emily's, giving her fingers a squeeze. "I wish I'd known that before. It could have saved me a lot of trouble." She chuckled earning herself a gentle smack on the leg. "I'm just kidding. You're worth the trouble."

"Good to know." Emily said sarcastically as she withdrew her hand from Spencer's knee. "Can I at least have a clue about where you're taking me?"

"Nope" Spencer replied with a smug smile.

Emily pouted again. "You're so mean."

"Am not" Spencer defended.

"Are too" Emily shot back.

"Am not" Spencer repeated.

"Are we going into the city?" Emily tried.

"My lips are sealed" is all Spencer gave her.

Emily huffed impatiently. "I hate surprises." she said childishly.

"Emily, are you forgetting how well I know you? You love all of this stuff. Now just sit there and behave and you'll find out where we are going in no time." Spencer said while she glanced at a frowning Emily quickly before turning her attention back to the road.

They sat in silence for a little while Spencer calming down slightly now that Emily wasn't grilling her about where they were going. She was looking up at a street sign as they were stopped at traffic lights trying to figure out if she should take this left or the next when she felt a hand on the inside of her thigh, not very high up but it was enough to make her breath catch. She looked over at Emily who was looking back at her with a smirk.

"Are you sure I can't make you tell me where we're going?" Emily said in a quiet, confident voice as she squeezed Spencer's leg a little.

Spencer shuddered a little at the pressure. "I..I'm pretty sure" she stuttered, cursing her voice for giving out at that exact moment.

"You're sure?" Emily asked as she slid her hand an inch up Spencer's leg.

Spencer gulped, she wasn't sure anymore, she was fairly confident Emily could get whatever she wanted. She now all of a sudden realised why Paige seemed so under the thumb, it was because Emily knew exactly how to get everything she wanted. Spencer was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard a car horn screech and she realised the light had turned green, she clumsily pulled away while Emily chuckled lightly at her flushed cheeks.

"You are evil you know that?" Spencer asked in a shocked voice.

"No you are because you won't tell me where we're going" Emily whined.

Spencer sighed. "We are literally 100 meters away Emily."

As Spencer turned the corner onto the street she was heading for Emily began to recognise the area and had a good idea where they were going. She looked out of the window at all of the buildings she hadn't seen in years, getting a little excited as Spencer turned into a parking lot that she'd been in many times before.

"You're taking me ice skating?" Emily excitedly as Spencer pulled into a parking spot.

Spencer chuckled as she watched Emily practically bounce up and down in her seat. "Yeah I remembered you telling me that your dad used to take you when you were little. I know he hasn't been able to get home much lately and we've all kinda been distant from our families with all the –A stuff so I thought it would be nice." She explained.

Emily smiled softly. "He used to take me every time he was home on leave; it was our daddy and daughter thing. Even up until I was like fifteen we used to do it on the first day he was home. We haven't been in so long." She finished sadly.

Spencer reached across and took Emily's hand. "We don't have to go if you don't want to." She reassured, worried that she'd upset Emily somehow.

"No I really want to go. This place is really special to me and it means the world to me that you remember that my dad used to take me. It's the perfect place to have our first date with you as my girlfriend." Emily beamed as she said the last word.

Spencer smiled too. "I will never get tired of hearing you call me that." She said as she leant in to kiss Emily, she meant it to be sweet but the swimmer clearly had other ideas.

Emily grabbed on to the back of her neck and began moving her lips against Spencer's fervently shifting in her seat to pull her body closer to the paler girl across the centre console. Spencer reached out tangling her hand into Emily's hair as she melted into their kiss, sighing gently into the swimmers mouth as she settled into the unexpected pace. Emily moved again needing to be closer to Spencer, needing to feel their bodies pressed together, she grunted in frustration as the handbrake dug into her hip and she knocked her knee on the gear shift.

"Maybe we should get inside." Spencer said softly against Emily's lips as she began to pull away. "We can carry this on later when we have more room."

"Ok" Emily said with an over exaggerated sigh, moving away from Spencer to get out of the car.

They walked into the ice skating rink hand in hand, Spencer paid at the desk and they collected their boots. Emily finished lacing up her rented skates remembering how uncomfortable they were as she stood up on wobbly legs, she looked down at Spencer who was just finishing tying her second skate and noticed the paler girl's hands were shaking ever so slightly. Spencer looked up at Emily now towering above her with the added height from the blades on her feet and gulped, the worried look in her eyes was not missed by the swimmer.

"Are you ok Spence?" Emily asked in a concerned voice. "You seem a little on edge."

"Y…Yeah I'm fine." Spencer stuttered. "I've just never done this before that's all."

Emily chuckled softly. "Well I've done this tonnes of times. I'll help you ok?"

Spencer nodded nervously her eyes never leaving Emily's comforting gaze, the swimmer extended her hand to help the other girl up. Emily pulled Spencer up off the bench, the paler girl not used to standing on the blades toppled forward a little crashing into Emily's body, the swimmers arms wrapped around her waist to steady her, pulling their bodies flush together.

Spencer looked up at Emily's face that was only inches away and smiled shyly. "Maybe this whole not being able to skate thing won't be so bad after all." She said quietly.

Emily shook her head slightly with a small smirk as she leant in to give Spencer a gentle peck on the lips, as they pulled apart they heard excited chatter to the side of them. Both girls looked over at the source of the noise and saw four boys around fourteen years of age looking at them with excited expressions. Spencer chuckled lightly and turned back towards Emily with a mischievous grin, she leant in and kissed Emily again this time making sure to make the kiss last a little longer.

"It's not nice to make fun of little boys" Emily said whispered sarcastically as they pulled apart.

Spencer glanced quickly over at the grinning boys. "I made their day Em. How often do you think they get to see two hot girls kiss?"

Emily rolled her eyes and took a step back from Spencer, making sure to keep her hands on the other girl's hips to keep her steady. "Well now your good deed is done for the day how about we do some skating?" she asked watching as Spencer's cocky look slipped.

They made their way clumsily to the edge of the rink and stood behind the boards for a moment as they watched the other skaters. Emily knew Spencer needed a little time to build herself up to actually getting on to the ice she could see the other girls eyes nervously scanning the rink. As they stood there a young couple skated by, the girl catching her pick and almost falling before she was caught by her boyfriend and pulled back upright, they laughed hysterically as they skated away.

Emily turned to Spencer with a smile "See you're not the only one who can't do it. Come on." She said as she reached out to take Spencer hand and moved towards the entrance to the rink. Spencer sighed but followed, Emily stepped onto the ice taking hold of both of the other girl to help her down too.

Spencer stepped tentatively onto the slick surface crushing Emily's fingers in a death grip as she did so. "Don't let me fall" she said in a scared voice.

"I've got you" Emily said confidently as she started skating backwards slowly towing Spencer with her. She skated over to the wall placing one of Spencer's hands on top of the boards. "Hold on to this and keep hold of my hand and you'll be fine I promise."

They started moving around the perimeter of the rink slowly as Spencer got her balance and used to being on the ice. By the third lap Emily noticed Spencer's grip loosening on her fingers and realised they were making quicker progress now. "I think someone's getting the hang of it." Emily commented getting an excited smile from Spencer.

"It's more fun than I thought it would be. It defies all the laws of physics that I should be able to stand up on these things but as long as I don't think about that I'm fine." Spencer said still smiling like a little kid.

"If you were so scared about coming skating why did you bring me here?" Emily chuckled.

"I wanted to do something different." Spencer explained. "We've been friends for so long that we've pretty much done everything there is to do together, but never this."

Emily gave Spencer's hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you brought me. Nervous Spencer is very cute." She smirked.

"I wasn't nervous" Spencer defended.

"Spence, I only just got the feeling back in my fingers" Emily mocked.

"Ok, maybe I was a little nervous. But don't tell anyone" Spencer said with a wink. "I have my reputation to think about"

Emily let go of Spencer's hand, much to the other girl's dismay. "You're secrets safe with me" she said quietly as she moved behind Spencer.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked as she felt Emily's hands on her hips.

"Well I thought maybe we could try moving away from the wall" Emily said mischievously. "You know, since you are such a professional now."

Spencer stiffened, already scared about leaving the safety of the solid boards. "I can't Em" she squeaked.

"You can. I won't let you fall" Emily reassured as she wrapped both arms around Spencer's waist feeling her relax at the action.

Spencer leant back into Emily's body, some of the tension in her body melting away as she enjoyed being close to the other girl. "I know you won't" she said as she let go of the wall, wrapping her arms around herself to Emily's

"I'm not letting go" Emily whispered into Spencer's ear as she started propelling them both forward slowly. She could feel the paler girl breathing quickly as she tried to stay calm herself, she smiled to herself thinking about how attractive this vulnerable side of Spencer was. Emily couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and pressing a kiss behind Spencer's ear causing the other girl to shiver.

"I've been able to skate this whole time you know? I just pretended so you'd hold me" Spencer joked as she leant back further into Emily.

"Oh you evil genius" Emily chuckled. "Well if you're so good Hastings maybe I should let you go" she said as she pretended to remove her arms from around Spencer's waist.

"No" Spencer practically shouted gripping on tightly to Emily's forearms.

"But you don't need me to hold you up, you can skate." Emily mocked.

"I know" Spencer stalled. "I'm just cold that all" she said as they both laughed lightly at their back and forth.

They skated around like this for a little while longer, Emily occasionally placing kisses to Spencer's neck and cheek and Spencer playing with Emily's fingers. "Do you want to go and get a hot cocoa in the café?" Spencer asked.

"Sure sounds great" Emily agreed as she directed them to the nearest exit, as they stepped off the ice Spencer breathed a sigh of relief causing Emily to laugh affectionately.

They swapped their skates for their shoes and made their way to the café that over looked the rink, Spencer got them hot cocoas topped with cream and marshmallows and they spent the rest of the afternoon watching people fall over and laughing at the stories they made up about how couples got together. It was a nice relaxed afternoon where they could enjoy each-others company and be a couple out in public for the first time. As the afternoon turned to early evening they made their way back to campus.

"I had an amazing time today Spencer" Emily said as she laced her fingers with Spencer as she drove.

Spencer looked over at her with a small smile. "It's not over yet."

"There's more?" Emily asked with a grin.

Spencer nodded. "I'm going to cook you dinner. Well I'm going to try."

"You cook?" Emily asked surprised.

"No not really" Spencer said pulling a face. "But I have memorised the recipe. I think I can do it."

"Like you thought you could skate?" Emily laughed.

"It will probably go about as well as the skating yes" Spencer laughed too. "But I have a pizza place on speed dial"

"I have the upmost faith in you." Emily smiled.

Spencer glanced over at Emily. "I'll try not to let you down."

"You couldn't even if you tried." Emily assured as she raised their intertwined hands and kissed Spencer's knuckles.

* * *

They got back to Spencer's apartment where Emily was forced onto the couch and told that under no uncertain terms was she to come into the kitchen. Spencer had been in there for almost fifteen minutes and so far Emily had heard a lot of banging and the occasional curse word emanating from the room. She began to get a little worried when she thought she could smell burning thinking now was the time to break her agreement with Spencer and see if the other girl needed help. Emily got up and made her way into the kitchen as she pushed the door open she took a sharp intake of breath. The kitchen looked like a warzone, every surface was covered in something; wrappers, knives, smears of sauce, the floor was littered with bits of chopped onion, the sink was piled high with dishes, Emily couldn't even begin to imagine what they'd all been used for, and the pan on the stove was boiling over. Emily's eyes travelled over to Spencer who had pulled her hair up into a messing ponytail; the bits of hair around her face were beginning to curl in the heat of the room, her cheeks were flushed and she looked fraught to say the least.

"Spence" Emily called, announcing her presence. Obviously Spencer was in her own world because at the sound of her name she promptly dropped the jar of sauce she was trying to open which smashed all over the floor.

"I told you to stay in the other room" Spencer said desperately looking at Emily in embarrassment; the cooking was not going well.

Emily smiled at Spencer's wide eyed expression that she was finding extremely cute. "I thought you might need some help"

Spencer looked around at the chaos that was her kitchen and her shoulders slumped. "I think it's beyond help" She sighed. "I wanted this to be perfect and look at it" she gestured around the room sadly.

Emily laughed lightly and reached over to move the boiling over pan off the heat and turn the burner off. "Spencer today has been perfect" she said earnestly.

"But I wanted it to be special" Spencer said emotionally. "This is our first date with you as my girlfriend and I wanted you to see how much I'm willing to try, I wanted this to be the best date you'd ever had and I screwed it up" she said throwing the dish cloth she was holding on the floor angrily.

"Whoa" Emily calmed as she cautiously stepped over the spilled sauce and smashed glass so she was standing in front of Spencer. "You have not screwed anything up" she reassured as she cupped Spencer's cheeks. "Do you seriously think I need a home cooked meal to make me see how much you are trying? I see it every day. You were amazing today, there were so many people at that skating rink and you didn't flinch once when I touched you or pull away from my kisses, that's huge Spence."

Spencer looked up into Emily's eyes feeling a little better now. "Well I had to hottest girl there on my arm, I was proud of myself" She said with a smirk.

Emily smiled back, shaking her head at the other girl's cockiness. "And this is the best date I've ever had because I spent it with you."

Spencer looked away again shyly, all of her front slipping. "Really?" she asked quietly.

"Yes" Emily said simply laughing affectionately. She took in the vulnerable look in Spencer's eyes, the way she was almost begging Emily to reassure her, she took in her mussed up hair and her flushed complexion; this was Spencer Hastings as no one else got to see her. No one else got to see the girl second guess herself or lose her cool and Emily couldn't help but find it insanely sexy. She didn't remember giving her body permission to do it but the next thing she knew she had Spencer pinned up against the worktop behind her, their lips hungrily working against each other's.

Spencer gasped as she felt Emily's hips come into contact with her own, pushing her harder into the surface behind her, she snaked her hand around Emily's waist holding them together revelling in the contact she now knew she had been craving all day. She had been taken by surprise by Emily's forcefulness but she wasn't about to let the swimmer completely dominate the kiss, she slipped a hand up into the other girl's hair and tangled her fingers into the soft lock, tugging slightly which elicited a moan from Emily.

As Spencer pulled lightly on her hair Emily felt a shock wave shoot through her body, the simple act turning her on beyond belief, her breathing picked up as she tried to control her growing desire to start ripping Spencer's clothes off. Just when she thought she had the urge at bay Spencer slowly slid her tongue along Emily's bottom lip asking for the kiss to be deepened, the swimmer quickly obliged, their tongues meeting tentatively and gently as first before beginning to move more firmly against each other's.

Spencer balled Emily's shirt in her fist as she tried to stop her head from spinning, her breaths coming in gasps as she lost herself entirely in the other girl. She almost passed out when she felt Emily gently suck on the tip of her tongue and as much as it almost physically pained her to do it she had to pull away from Emily's lips. She let her head drop onto Emily's shoulder as she fought to regain control of her racing heart and her erratic breathing, as she let her eyes drift open she saw how Emily's chest was heaving against her own and the fire was ignited in her again. She used her body to push Emily away from her but kept tight hold of the other girl, expertly steering them both around the spilled sauce and other various bits of detritus that were scattered on the floor to push Emily against the wall on the other side of the room right next to the door.

As soon as her back hit the wall Emily felt Spencer's warm lips on her neck, covering it with firm kisses and small nips that caused her to gasp and whimper and lose all sense of reality. Right now for her there was no world outside of Spencer's hand in her hair, her fingertips on the skin of her hips, her lips on her neck, her teeth gently raking over her flesh. Emily's hand came up to the back of Spencer's head silently telling her to keep doing exactly what she was doing, as Spencer sucked gently on her pulse point she couldn't stop her hips from bucking forward into the other girls, both of them moaning quietly at the contact.

Spencer started fumbling with the door handle with one hand attempting to open the door into the lounge needing to carry this on somewhere more comfortable, reluctantly she had to part herself from Emily skin to complete the task. Grabbing the swimmers hand she led her out of the now open door and into the lounge, as soon as they were through the door Spencer felt herself roughly pulled back against Emily's body and the other girls lips were against her own.

Emily couldn't stand the few seconds they had been parted, her body craving the contact of the other girl; she pushed Spencer backwards until they tumbled backwards on to the couch, landing heavily on the other girl. Her brief second of worry that she may have hurt the girl disappeared when she felt Spencer's groan vibrate against her lips, spurring her on. Emily's fingers found the hem of Spencer's shirt and slipped underneath quickly, shivering at the way Spencer moved against her touch, the other girl's hips gently rocking into her own. She traced patterns over the curve of Spencer's waist, feeling the Goosebumps rise where their skin came into contact. Their kisses were fierce and harsh and with an intent that had never been there before now, they weren't about telling each other they couldn't with words right now, they were a pathway, a road leading them to unknown territory.

Spencer felt her body moving of its own accord underneath Emily, the dual sensation of the hard kisses and soft touches making her want to cry out, she needed to feel more of Emily. She let her hand wander down the swimmers body until she reached her ass, her hand rested there for a few seconds but it still wasn't enough. Spencer slipped her hand under the waistband of Emily's jeans until her hand was cupping the other girl's panty covered ass cheek.

Emily gasped and arched her back pressing back into Spencer's hand, she broke away from the paler girl's lips to try and catch her breath and make sense of the position she found herself in. She moved her body away from Spencer a little to look down at her, the confused yet excited way she herself was feeling written all over the other girls face. Taking a deep breath to clear her head Emily finally spoke. "Spence if we don't stop now I won't be able to" she admitted.

"Don't stop." Spencer said quietly but certainly.

Emily looked at the girl beneath her with awe. "We don't have to do anything. Not until you're ready."

"I want to." Spencer replied simply as she sat up to gently kiss Emily.

"Are you sure?" Emily whispered, not quite able to grasp the ramifications of what Spencer was saying right now.

Spencer didn't answer with words she just began sitting up more, making Emily move backwards from on top of her. She stood up and offered Emily her hand, pulling her up from the couch and leading her slowly and deliberately into her bedroom.

Emily's heart rate must have picked up to a mile a minute as they made it into Spencer's room and they stood there and took each other in. Emily took a tentative step towards the paler girl, all of her confidence from earlier had melted away. She reached out and gently placed her hand on the side of Spencer's face, running her thumb over her cheek before leaning in to kiss her tenderly, she pulled away from the kiss but kept them close enough together that she could feel Spencer's breath on her lips. She let her eyes linger with Spencer's before they began to flit across the girls features, committing to memory just how beautiful she looked in this moment, she let her eyes drop to between their bodies, she knew what the next step was but even thought of it made her hands shake. Emily ran her fingers over the buttons of the paler girl's blouse, starting at her chest and ending at her lower stomach, she looked back up at Spencer for permission when she received a small nod she attempted to open the small buttons. She cursed her fingers that right now seemed far too clumsy to get the button undone; the shaking of her hands wasn't helping matters.

Spencer could feel Emily's frustration growing as she struggled to undo her shirt, she brought her hands up to cover the swimmers and could feel them shaking. Bring their hands up to her lips she kissed across Emily's knuckles trying to calm her before dropping them to her side and slowly unbuttoning her blouse as the swimmer watched transfixed. Once her blouse was hanging open Emily took over again slipping her hands under the material and pushing it off her shoulders to pool on the ground. Spencer felt warm lips on her shoulder, moving across her collarbone and down her chest; lingering in the valley of her breasts. She brought her hand up and slipped her fingers into Emily's hair lightly holding her head where it was, tightening her grip when she felt the swimmer nip lightly at her flesh.

Emily kissed a path back up to Spencer's lips, giving her one last peck before stepping away from her and pulling the jumper she was wearing over her head, she went to remove the t-shit she was wearing underneath only to find Spencer's hands already tugging the hem upwards, she shrugged out of it and it was added to the now small pile of clothes on the floor. Emily was shocked when Spencer didn't stop there; without hesitation she behind the swimmers body and unclasped her bra. Spencer had always been one to go for what she wanted and now all of a sudden Emily found this drive incredibly sexy so she matched her action and ridded Spencer of her own bra before pulling their bodies back together. The feeling of their now naked top halves pressed together caused them both to gasp shakily and Emily found her hands exploring Spencer's bare back, when her fingers bushed material she decided Spencer's jeans needed to go to. Running her fingers around Spencer's hips she started working on the buttons and fly, finding these much easier now that the nerves had died down, she eased the fabric over Spencer's hips pushing it down as far as she could from this position. Emily backed Spencer to the bed and laid her down gently so she could remove her jeans the rest of the way, she was awestruck by the sight in front of her; Spencer's expanse of pale skin, her rapidly rising and falling chest, the flat planes of her stomach and her long legs were hypnotising.

Spencer felt Emily lower herself down on top of her and her still denim clad thigh press against her centre; her moan was absorbed by Emily's mouth as she kissed her deeply. Emily pushed herself up so that she could look at Spencer's body again and saw the hunger and need in the other girl's eyes, it made her shiver. This shiver only intensified when she felt Emily's hand run gently over her breast, flicking over her nipple lightly, she gasped and gripped onto the sheets beneath her. Emily's fingers kept up their exploration, tracing over her ribs, down her stomach and back up again, Spencer watched as the swimmer got lost in her.

"You're so beautiful" Emily breathed as she locked eyes with Spencer again. Emily looked down at the one piece of clothing still covering Spencer's body and back up at her eyes asking for permission, she didn't need a response, she could see the trust they held. She reached down and pushed the thin cotton over Spencer's hips and down her legs, her mind went blank as she realised the Spencer Hastings was now naked…for her. She leant down and kissed Spencer, melting into her mouth wanting her to know how much this moment meant to her, as their tongues met Emily's hand slid down and slipped into the wetness between Spencer's legs.

Spencer moaned softly but it sounded almost like a sigh of relief, she felt like she'd been waiting for this moment her whole life. Emily's fingers dipped down before moving to circle her bundle of nerves and she gasped into the swimmers mouth, nothing had ever felt so right but she needed to touch Emily too. She gripped on to her neck with one hand while the other made quick work of opening her jeans an slipping her hand inside her panties, for a second Emily's body stiffened before she began moving in time with Spencer. Emily circled her again and again, she wanted to tell her how good this felt but she couldn't with the chorus of moans being ripped from her throat.

Emily wanted to make this about Spencer but she was finding it increasingly difficult to stop her hips rolling to meet the other girl's movements. She'd expected Spencer to be tentative and unsure but in fact she acted like she'd been doing this forever, like it was the most natural thing in the world. She moved her fingers down again this time pushing into Spencer with the very tips of her fingers before drawing them out and pushing them in again getting a little bit deeper this time.

"Emily" Spencer called as she felt Emily enter her for the first time, her hips bucking at the welcome intrusion. She pulled Emily in for a searing kiss their tongues clashing almost before their lips met, she pulled Emily into her as they glide within each other. Spencer moved her free hand to palm one of Emily's full breasts earning herself a groan from the swimmer, she took her nipple between her fingers and rolled it gently at first.

"Oh my god" Emily gasped as she felt the pressure of Spencer's kiss and the sharp pleasurable pain of what Spencer was doing to her nipple and her fingers sliding in and out of her. Spencer moved to circle her in quick firm strokes, her back arched and her eyes slammed shut as she tried to concentrate on the movement of her own fingers. She mimicked Spencer's actions, matching her pace and pressure, their movements began to get erratic, moans and gasps were filling the room. Emily looked down at Spencer her eyes we shut and her brow was furrowed like she was concentrating on a math problem. "Spence" Emily moaned causing the other girls eyes to fly open. It felt too long since they'd last locked eyes. When Emily flicked her fingers over her most sensitive area she saw Spencer fight her eyes fluttering shut. Their pace quickened again and the steady rhythm of Spencer's hips faltered, she could see in her eyes that she was close which was good because she could feel the tell-tale shaking of her thighs.

Almost like they predicted each other's movements they dipped into each other at the same moment, Spencer felt a ripple run through Emily's walls and she knew she'd done the right thing. Keeping her movements smooth but strong she moved in and out of Emily. The realisation of what was actually happening caused a tight knot to form low in Spencer's stomach, her hips rose off the mattress clashing into Emily's hand roughly. She felt Emily getting tighter around her fingers and she felt herself unravelling. They tried to kiss but they were sloppy and half hearted, the moans and strings of expletives getting in the way, their bodies rocked messily together until they both stiffened, calling each other's names and coating each other's fingers.

* * *

**Review and let me know what you think! **


End file.
